Nov. 25, 2025

Burnout, Military Brotherhood, And Being Honest with Joshua Mach aka JMach Podcast

Burnout, Military Brotherhood, And Being Honest with Joshua Mach aka JMach Podcast

Shoot me a message! We sit down with Joshua “JMach” Mach to talk burnout, identity after service, and how honest conversations can save a life. From raising resilient kids to setting standards in mentorship and sobriety, we unpack what it means to lead at home and in the community. • asking twice to get real answers • social media masks versus real burnout • redefining success around family and service • boundaries with content, algorithms and rest • values stack of God, country, family • fe...

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Shoot me a message!

We sit down with Joshua “JMach” Mach to talk burnout, identity after service, and how honest conversations can save a life. From raising resilient kids to setting standards in mentorship and sobriety, we unpack what it means to lead at home and in the community.

• asking twice to get real answers
• social media masks versus real burnout
• redefining success around family and service
• boundaries with content, algorithms and rest
• values stack of God, country, family
• feeling alone while carrying others’ burdens
• parenting for resilience not comfort
• mentoring standards and meeting halfway
• service identity without combat experience
• therapy, sobriety and doing the work
• tracing trauma back to childhood
• authenticity costs and protecting sanity
• legacy as giving back and staying humble

Make sure you follow Joshua on Instagram, YouTube, JMach Podcast. Go to www.JmachPodcast.org or find him on all social media at "JMach Podcast."


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Episode Powered By Act Now Education

01:53 - Opening, Guest Intro, Intent

04:08 - The Power Of “How Are You Really?”

06:20 - Social Media Masks And Burnout

09:32 - Success, Money, And Family Goals

13:03 - Seasons Of Grief And Passion Projects

16:41 - Boundaries, Algorithms, And Rest

19:17 - Values: God, Country, Family

21:59 - Feeling Alone While Helping Others

25:35 - Parenting Standards And Patience

29:02 - Teaching Resilience, Not Comfort

32:48 - Mentoring Gen Z And Adversity

37:45 - Failing Forward And Raising Grit

39:32 - Marine Corps Service And Identity

44:20 - Inadequacy Without Combat

49:01 - Mentorship Limits And Ownership

53:05 - Standards, Fitness, And Work Ethic

58:13 - Starting The J Mac Podcast

01:02:54 - Sobriety, Cannabis, And Honesty

WEBVTT

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Warriors fall in.

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It's time for formation.

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I'm your host, KP, and today, Formation Nation, we've got someone who's been grinding, building, and speaking truth with purpose.

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Joshua Mock, also known as J Mock, who I have heard from multiple guests.

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You gotta you gotta get with J Mock.

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You gotta you gotta talk to Joshua.

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And so here we are today.

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It's an absolute honor to be on the show today with someone who's very intentional and who is about legacy discipline and refusing to fold when life's pressures, you know, get on top of us, and sometimes we can't handle it, man.

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I know you talk a lot about the suicide prevention.

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Um, and then you your your platform, you have a lot of really deep conversations, and I've looked at some of your YouTube videos, and I noticed that the first thing you ask people is, How are you doing today?

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And then they tell you, and then you're like, Well, how are you really doing today?

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Yeah.

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Yes, sir.

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Yeah.

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Where does that come from?

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Uh, because the I I don't like service level conversations.

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Like, I I don't want to hear the bullshit.

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I I want to know who you are behind the closed doors, right?

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But when you approach somebody and you say, Hey, how are you doing?

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Your first response is gonna be good, living the dream, I'm alive.

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Okay, well, what's fueling all that?

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So, how are you really doing?

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And I I've noticed that it takes you asking somebody how they're really doing twice before they'll be willing to start opening up.

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Because in today's society, you don't know if someone actually cares when they're asking you how you're really doing, but I'm that one person that you can guarantee that I'll care and I'll I want to hear you out.

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It's pretty amazing when you start talking to people and you start getting around certain folks, especially in like I noticed in big cities.

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Um, I've lived all over the U.S., from Ohio to Kentucky to New Jersey, Hawaii, now California, and I live right here in LA.

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And it seems like in LA we're so busy and so caught up in ourselves and what we're doing that we don't have time to check on one another and ask those more in-depth questions.

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But then we're always at face value when we have these social medias like uh Instagram, uh, TikTok, and everyone's pretending that they're living the greatest life ever, but a lot of people don't know the pressure that's going on when the cameras are off.

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And you and I briefly spoke about burnout.

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And I know you've been feeling that lately.

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Yes, sir.

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Can you talk a little bit about that?

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Yeah, dude.

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I went from like, I feel like I was on a high like motivation, the drive, the passion, it's all there.

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The momentum was building.

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And then one day I just woke up and I'm just I've I don't know if it's the pressure, if it's because my value or version of being successful is being financially like set, like being able to do what you want when you want, and that's not where I'm at yet.

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But I don't want to stop letting people know that I care because I'll always care regardless.

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This isn't all about money.

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But as a person to feel successful and valuable, like my wife's still working, and my ultimate goal is to make that make sure she gets to retire or not have to work for the rest of her life.

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I want to be able to bring her home so she could be the stay-at-home mom, raising our girls, all of our kids, and just being there.

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But yeah, dude, burnout's really been kicking my butt this past couple of days.

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And normally I would allow myself to just crawl into a hole, be laying in bed all day.

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And that this time I'm being more present and aware, and I'm actually like forcing myself to go out.

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I'm uh I could have easily said, no, I don't want to do this podcast anymore, but um I'm forcing myself to be here.

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Not but I won't I hope you don't take that in the wrong way because I do want to be here.

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Just the energy I have is a little bit different right now if that makes sense to you.

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I feel you, man.

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Like this is I've been doing this for four years now, and I've gone through seasons because personal life is happening.

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We just had a really close family member that passed away.

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I changed positions at my full-time job, so I've been working quite a bit more and and a little bit more unexpected hours and things like that.

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And you know, you've got things going on outside of this because I don't know about you, but this doesn't necessarily pay the bills.

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This is more of a passion project for me.

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For sure.

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Is it the same for you?

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I'm it's about to pay the bills, all right?

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I'm manifesting it because I don't want to say this is just a passion project to me because it's so much more than that.

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And I think that's also my problem.

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I don't know how not to be J Mac, right?

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The the person that I preach about being, I don't know how not to be that person.

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And that's draining at times, right?

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Like I don't know how to put myself first.

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I'm always worried about who I'm talking to or who I'm with or what they're going through, instead of truly taking that time for myself.

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And this burnout session, I call it, is the first time that I've actually put myself first in a sense, where I'm still I still created the content.

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I just scheduled it out.

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So now I'm not like just falling off the algorithm.

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I still have content that's getting pushed out there, and I'm letting people know, hey, look, this is what I'm going through.

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I'm not going to be responsive right now.

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And I'm more focused on myself and my immediate family.

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I think you struggle with what like a lot of veterans struggle with, and that's that's priorities and value.

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A lot of us, it's especially those of us that have served or first responders, you know, we get into this line of work not necessarily for the money, but for the community.

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And I always tell people the three top things is um God, country, family.

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And however you want to prioritize that, those should be your top three things.

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Do you think that sometimes you feel like you're in a lonely place, or do you think that you're surrounded by others that also have those types of priorities?

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I think it's a mixture of both.

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And part of it's on me like realizing who my priorities and who has the same priorities in that.

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So part of it is that I just don't want people to feel the way that I have felt before.

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Like I don't want people to feel alone.

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I don't want people to feel worthless and all that.

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While I still feel all those feelings myself, right?

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And I'm constantly doing my events where I bring in mental health resources for the community.

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I have community members coming in, learning about these resources.

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And I don't always take the time to use them for myself because I still feel a type of way.

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I still feel alone.

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Even in a crowded room, I'll feel alone sometimes.

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And I don't want other people to to feel that way.

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So instead of focusing that energy on myself and figuring out how to break out of that to feel the love and support that I have around me, I just give everything to people around me so they don't feel that way.

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And then I get into this burnt out stage, and it's just a cycle of my own insanity that I've created that I'm going to break.

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Yeah.

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Do you get frustrated a lot of times?

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Again.

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I say that because that's where I'm at.

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A lot of the questions I'm asking you is because I I experience the same thing too.

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Yeah.

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So I feel like right now, where I'm at in my life, I'm way too short-tempered.

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I get too frustrated and angry with my kids.

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And they're two and five years old.

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And but I expect them to be acting like proper 17, 21-year-old kids, right?

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And that's just my fault for having such a high expectation and not realizing and valuing that they are just innocent little children, still trying to learn how to grow and develop.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, it's tough because when you're raising kids, you're also a life coach.

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Like you're teaching these kids how to life, and that's your responsibility.

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I run into a lot of parents, and in my opinion, I think it's the wrong mentality to think, well, I want to be my kid's best friend.

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And like, no, I don't want to be my kid's best friend.

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I want to be their father, and I want to teach them how to hunt.

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I don't want to teach them how to survive.

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And I want to teach them how to take care of themselves in those lull moments when they're they feel distressed and they feel like there's no way out.

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Like, that's my job.

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My job isn't to make you feel good and buy you ice cream Sundays and all the candy and the toys that you want and things like that, man.

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Like it's it's a ever forever gift when you're able to give your kids the life lessons that you had to learn the hard way.

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Um would you say that you had a good upbringing or was it kind of a not so good upbringing?

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I say I had a good upbringing and it still fucked me up.

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Right?

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Like I still have trauma from it.

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We all have trauma from our childhood.

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I don't care how silver of a spoon you ate off of to how terrible of a childhood you had.

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I have also found that like people that had the tougher childhood have a stronger mentality moving forward in life because they already went through the suck.

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And I agree with you.

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It it's our goal or it's our desire to be our kids' best friends, so they love us and that.

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But we also have to realize we are the disciplinarian.

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We are the one that has to say no.

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And unfortunately, sometimes we're gonna have to have our kids cry because they can't have everything, and we can't allow them thinking they can grow up and they're just gonna get everything because that's gonna set them up for failure.

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A thousand percent.

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I agree.

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And that's I think that's one of the biggest problems that we have in today's generation is they they don't know how to take a fall and and get back up again because they've been so coddled their whole lives.

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And and I see it with the up-and-coming generations.

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I've had multiple people people ask me, like, hey, can you mentor my son?

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He wants to go in the military, he wants to be a first responder, and then you know, they're 17, 18, 19, 20, some years old.

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Well, by this time it's almost too late because all the things that they did growing up, they didn't learn adversity.

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They didn't learn how to get up again once they fall down.

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Everything's been handed to them from college money to their first car to paying their freaking um car bills, their insurance, all that stuff, man.

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Like it nothing was really earned.

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It was just kind of given to them.

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And then you're asking me at the age of 20 years old to mentor this grown man now, and it's it's really difficult.

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And that's that's what I see as a father.

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And for me, it's it's I like I have to remind myself that I'm a father first over everything else because it it's really frustrating um to see this generation struggle as much as they've been struggling with just getting work, finding work, and holding on to it.

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Yeah, but to that I want to like cor not correct you, but change your mindset.

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Like it's not too late for those kids.

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Those kids need it the most.

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They need the mentoring the most.

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It's just not gonna be easy.

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Like, just like dogs, you could teach an old dog a new trick, but it's just gonna be harder and and more more work, right?

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It's not gonna be as easy because you didn't have the whole all those years to do it.

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Yeah.

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And one of the things I've been teaching my daughter is like when she falls down, like all the other parents like jump up and want to go rush to her.

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And I was like, Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.

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Like, and I say, Hey, what do you do when you fall down?

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Nice and loud so she hears me.

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And she says, get back up.

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Whether she's crying or not, and she'll get back up.

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And so, like, yeah, the inner dad in me, I just want to rush over there, make sure my princess is still a princess and okay, right?

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But I know I have to let her teach her how to be strong because one thing I struggled with was failure, right?

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I want it to be perfect, I want it to be the best.

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But part of life and growing is failing, but failing forward.

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So when you fall down, make sure you fall forward so you can get back up and keep moving.

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I wanted to ask you, and I meant to ask you in the beginning, your military service.

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Can you talk to us a little bit about that?

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My military experience, I feel it was insufficient.

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I feel like I for the longest time, I feel like I failed my mission of joining the Marine Corps.

00:12:48.569 --> 00:12:51.849
So I didn't join till I was 23 in 2013.

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By that time, I'm sure you know, I was an old man by the time I hit the fleet, right?

00:12:57.210 --> 00:13:01.369
Um I didn't get deployed.

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I went to Oman for a little less than a month, and uh I chose to get out because I ended up getting married while in.

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I was a statistic for sure.

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I was young, dumb, and full of stuff, and chose to get married.

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And well, that backfired.

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And I couldn't separate my home life from my work life.

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So it just felt like a tornado, no matter where I was at.

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Like home sucked, work sucked.

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And I was like, Oh, I need to get out.

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I need something new and fresh.

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Which, if I would have stayed in, I would have got a new duty station, I would have got that new and fresh.

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Uh, but I chose to get out.

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And for the longest time, as I said, I felt like a failure.

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Like I didn't complete my mission of service, but I've been able and have continued to work on my mindset that my purpose for joining the Marine Corps wasn't to go fight the war overseas, but to fight the war we face once we get back home, and that's exactly what I'm doing.

00:13:48.650 --> 00:13:49.289
Yeah.

00:13:49.930 --> 00:13:52.730
The um what what year did you go in?

00:13:53.289 --> 00:13:54.089
2013.

00:13:54.809 --> 00:13:56.250
2013, okay.

00:13:56.490 --> 00:14:00.009
Um you didn't deploy to Iraq or Afghanistan at all?

00:14:00.410 --> 00:14:00.970
No, sir.

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Do you do you feel like people that served during that time sometimes are hard on themselves, hard on themselves as far as like feeling inadequate because they didn't go to the big fight?

00:14:16.569 --> 00:14:19.369
And what's your experience with talking to people about that?

00:14:19.609 --> 00:14:20.970
Yeah, 100%, dude.

00:14:21.049 --> 00:14:28.650
It's a it's been a struggle for not only myself, but uh several other veterans that I've talked to that are willing to open up and share about it, right?

00:14:28.730 --> 00:14:31.049
Because we feel inadequate, we feel less than.

00:14:31.369 --> 00:14:35.049
And all my seniors, they went through it, they were training us for it.

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We got the experience, but never had the real life application.

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And before, I used to think we all think like, man, we failed, we didn't complete our mission, or we're not worthy of the title Marine or veteran or whatever the case may be.

00:14:50.089 --> 00:14:53.930
And then we just got to take a step back and realize, man, what a blessing.

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Like we were, we trained, we signed up, we were ready to go.

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It just wasn't in our cards.

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The Lord didn't hand it to us the way that we wanted it to be.

00:15:02.650 --> 00:15:07.289
And instead of realizing, I think you we can relate this with all of life, right?

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Instead of focusing on what we don't have or what we didn't get, we need to prioritize what we do have and what we do get.

00:15:14.490 --> 00:15:14.809
Right?

00:15:14.970 --> 00:15:18.170
Like, yeah, I wish I had that military experience.

00:15:18.250 --> 00:15:20.329
And then I counter it with like, do I really wish?

00:15:20.410 --> 00:15:32.650
Like, I'm already struggling, I already have these struggles and challenges, but then now I want to add on top of it being in combat and potentially losing my brothers or losing myself or anything like that.

00:15:32.809 --> 00:15:35.769
And I'm I'm sad because I didn't get that experience.

00:15:36.009 --> 00:15:47.529
Like, first of all, our brothers and sisters that lost their life in that experience would give anything to have the life I'm having right now, but I'm choosing to not live it to the fullest because I didn't get that experience.

00:15:47.769 --> 00:15:48.329
Yeah.

00:15:48.650 --> 00:16:00.170
Yeah, I've I've had conversations with people before that have um that didn't deploy, and then they act as if because I did, that I'm my DD 214 is worth more than theirs.

00:16:00.250 --> 00:16:01.529
And it's that's not the case.

00:16:01.690 --> 00:16:25.369
Like it's I think my respect goes out to anyone that serves in the military because I think signing up and simply going to an unknown location and turning that that page to that new chapter, I call it becoming an adult, because you're getting away from family, you're going to boot camp, you're going to be getting a paycheck, like no one's there to like tell you, you know, to pay your bills for you.

00:16:25.450 --> 00:16:26.650
So it's it's sort of growing up.

00:16:26.730 --> 00:16:39.369
So my I have a lot of respect for anyone that serves in the military, but I've had conversations with people that that do feel inadequate because they didn't go to the big fight or whatever, but like you said, it wasn't in the cards, it wasn't like anyone tried to avoid anything.

00:16:39.609 --> 00:16:46.410
But I I want to circle back to what you mentioned about um the 20-some-year-olds that you try to mentor.

00:16:46.650 --> 00:16:52.650
The one thing that I learned was I can't care more than you.

00:16:53.130 --> 00:16:58.410
And it's man, it has it has pushed it has pushed family members away.

00:16:58.569 --> 00:17:06.730
Because when I first moved here to California, I was asked to like mentor some uh cousins of mine, and they were in their 20s.

00:17:07.609 --> 00:17:10.730
And I, you know, just like most military people, we we go all in.

00:17:10.890 --> 00:17:15.049
Like we we want the best of the best for them to succeed.

00:17:15.210 --> 00:17:23.609
And so everything from getting them the job to helping them learn how to finance and all that stuff was part of the whole package.

00:17:23.930 --> 00:17:33.289
But what I learned was I would get so frustrated because I would try to explain things and then they wouldn't follow through with it.

00:17:33.690 --> 00:17:37.930
And so what I've learned to do is try to meet them halfway.

00:17:38.170 --> 00:17:43.289
Like I'll make them call me or I'll make them show up to me versus me showing up to them.

00:17:43.450 --> 00:17:52.089
And I think that's really important for mentors out there to not get frustrated and burned out is to sometimes people aren't ready.

00:17:52.329 --> 00:17:53.450
Like they're just not ready.

00:17:53.529 --> 00:17:58.569
You know, most of these 20-some-year-old kids are they're not ready to be mentored, and maybe it's their parents pushing them.

00:17:58.809 --> 00:18:06.250
So I've kind of gotten to a point where like, okay, I'll meet you halfway, but I'm not going further than that because you may not be ready.

00:18:06.329 --> 00:18:09.450
I mean, you'll come back in a couple years and maybe we can talk again.

00:18:09.929 --> 00:18:10.730
Yeah, for sure.

00:18:10.889 --> 00:18:13.609
That's I think you take that into life in general, right?

00:18:13.769 --> 00:18:18.970
You can't make anybody do anything like that old analogy, you can lead a horse to the water, but you can't make them drink it.

00:18:19.129 --> 00:18:25.849
And I think you doing meeting them halfway is a great work in progress, but in reality, we got to meet them where they're at.

00:18:26.009 --> 00:18:27.609
And I don't mean driving to them.

00:18:27.769 --> 00:18:32.809
I mean, yeah, make sure they drive to you, but meet them where they're at with their discipline and where they want to go.

00:18:33.049 --> 00:18:39.529
However, if you're mentoring someone, I feel like you also have to be a little bit, you can't just I take everything I just said back, right?

00:18:39.609 --> 00:18:44.409
Because if you're mentoring someone, you can't meet them where they're at because then they're gonna stay there, they're gonna feel comfortable.

00:18:44.649 --> 00:18:54.730
It's almost like it's just like how I would go to therapy for years and expect that one therapy session a week or a month or whatever it was was gonna do all the work for me.

00:18:54.889 --> 00:19:01.529
Not that I actually had to go home and do the homework and do the prack app and put it to use in real life, right?

00:19:01.769 --> 00:19:05.849
So I don't know if I answered your question or if I just went off on my own tangent.

00:19:05.929 --> 00:19:07.450
However, uh, I agree.

00:19:07.529 --> 00:19:17.849
You can't just care more than someone else does because then it'll burn you out because you could see their you can see what they're capable of or what they're what they can do, but they might not see it here.

00:19:17.929 --> 00:19:23.690
So it's gonna frustrate you and burn you out because you're just striving so high to get them up to where you see them.

00:19:23.849 --> 00:19:26.409
But in reality, they're right here and they're stuck right here.

00:19:26.730 --> 00:19:27.049
Yeah.

00:19:27.210 --> 00:19:29.129
And just explaining the standards.

00:19:29.369 --> 00:19:36.009
I mean, I remember a few years ago I told uh someone I was mentoring, I was like, hey, meet me at my place, we're gonna run three miles.

00:19:36.250 --> 00:19:39.289
Their response was, but the test is only a mile and a half.

00:19:39.529 --> 00:19:40.569
I'm like, you know what?

00:19:40.730 --> 00:19:43.529
Like you're looking for a job as a first responder.

00:19:43.849 --> 00:19:46.730
Like we're not looking for the 60-second fight.

00:19:46.889 --> 00:19:49.929
Like we're preparing for the three to six six minute fight.

00:19:50.089 --> 00:19:58.089
And that's the and where you're at at your age, you should be having no problems keeping up with a 40-year-old man uh to run three miles.

00:19:58.329 --> 00:20:00.730
And that's and that's the and that's the severity of it all.

00:20:00.809 --> 00:20:04.889
It's like trying to set the bar and set the standards and explain why it's important.

00:20:05.369 --> 00:20:11.529
It to me, it blows my mind because back when I joined the military, like that was a no-brainer.

00:20:11.769 --> 00:20:14.490
Like you weren't trying for 10 pull-ups, you were trying for 20.

00:20:14.649 --> 00:20:16.169
You were trying to do more.

00:20:16.409 --> 00:20:22.169
And now it seems like the idea is that let's just clear the bar, let's just smoothly clear the top.

00:20:22.490 --> 00:20:28.089
Like, no, like we need to not just clear the bar, we need to clear three bars or whatever the case is.

00:20:28.250 --> 00:20:33.210
And mentorship can be really stressful, I think, in that sense.

00:20:33.450 --> 00:20:44.250
And it's something that I've struggled with over the years, just trying to learn how to, like you mentioned, meet them at where they're at, sort of whether it's communicating, whether it's delivery.

00:20:44.409 --> 00:20:46.569
Sometimes my delivery is not the best way.

00:20:46.730 --> 00:20:49.609
Sometimes it sounds better coming from Joshua Mock.

00:20:49.690 --> 00:20:52.250
Like it just there's just so much involved, man.

00:20:52.329 --> 00:20:53.210
It's so frustrating.

00:20:53.289 --> 00:20:56.569
But guys like me and you, we give a shit.

00:20:56.730 --> 00:20:59.129
Like we care, and that's the bottom line, right?

00:20:59.369 --> 00:21:00.970
Yeah, that's exactly what I was gonna say.

00:21:01.049 --> 00:21:19.450
I was gonna say that's a kudos to you, though, because it just shows how much you care and how much you believe in what you're doing and how you can help someone else, and you don't want to keep all that knowledge to yourself, and you're willing to share and help others, and it's it's got it's just frustrating when they don't want the help or they're not willing to do what they're clanked talking about.

00:21:20.730 --> 00:21:22.970
And guys like me and you have been there, done that before.

00:21:23.049 --> 00:21:28.730
Like we've made mistakes, and so we're trying to teach the next gen like how do we how do they have a clearer path?

00:21:28.970 --> 00:21:29.450
For sure.

00:21:29.609 --> 00:21:33.210
I think I've been both people that you've just talked about, right?

00:21:33.450 --> 00:21:35.769
The one that wanted the mentorship but wasn't ready.

00:21:35.929 --> 00:21:40.009
I went to the recruiter like three, four separate times, like years apart.

00:21:40.169 --> 00:21:44.169
And it wasn't till obviously the last time that I went that it it stuck with me.

00:21:44.329 --> 00:21:47.929
But I I also accredit the recruiter, he wasn't an asshole.

00:21:48.089 --> 00:21:50.889
I told him what I was going to do and what I was willing to do.

00:21:51.049 --> 00:21:53.769
And he he's like, okay, cool, I'll check on you once a month.

00:21:53.849 --> 00:21:54.569
And that's what he did.

00:21:54.649 --> 00:21:57.450
He didn't blow me up every day, every week, trying to figure it out.

00:21:57.609 --> 00:21:59.849
But I had to lose 70 pounds in six months.

00:21:59.929 --> 00:22:03.529
I lost 70 pounds in six months just to enlist into the Marine Corps.

00:22:03.690 --> 00:22:11.769
And for the longest time, I do I can definitely see where I used to think like as long as I can beat the standard, that's good.

00:22:11.929 --> 00:22:15.929
I always dreamed of getting the 20 pull-ups and going above and beyond.

00:22:16.089 --> 00:22:17.609
I wasn't ever a runner, man.

00:22:17.929 --> 00:22:21.849
But it's not about meeting the standard, it's about setting the standard.

00:22:21.929 --> 00:22:25.369
You want to be the standard, you don't just want to barely meet the standard.

00:22:25.529 --> 00:22:31.049
That's going to cause too much stress in your life where you're just barely beating the minimums.

00:22:31.769 --> 00:22:44.490
The one thing I explain to a lot of kids, and I call them kids, young adults, is that whether you get into the military or you become a first responder, is those types of careers are marathons.

00:22:44.730 --> 00:22:52.889
And if you're starting this marathon walking across the start line, then you're going to be in deep trouble by the time you hit your 40s.

00:22:53.049 --> 00:23:08.169
Like so you need to make sure that you are hitting it and you get that momentum so that you get through those first 15, 20 years, uh, and then so you can have a healthier career, all right, and you can be effective and have a fulfilling career as well.

00:23:08.649 --> 00:23:21.450
And guys like you that get out and then you continue doing things like what you're doing right now with the podcast, you know, I'm it's it's so refreshing to to see folks like you because I I can tell how motivated you are.

00:23:21.529 --> 00:23:27.049
Man, I went through a lot of your YouTube videos and and listened to a lot of your uh conversations that you had.

00:23:27.210 --> 00:23:31.529
But what was the moment of impact that pushed you to start the J Mock podcast?

00:23:31.769 --> 00:23:35.929
Not just think about it, but actually execute my therapist.

00:23:36.329 --> 00:23:43.529
So I when I got out of the Marine Corps, I separated my shoulder, had a grade five AC joint separation, had to have surgery.

00:23:43.769 --> 00:23:48.490
Fast forward a couple years, I didn't properly rehab it properly, so I'm paying for that now.

00:23:48.730 --> 00:23:54.089
But I was tagged in uh you remember the 22 push-up a day challenge?

00:23:54.490 --> 00:24:00.569
I was tagged in that, and but I what there was no way I was gonna do 22 push-ups for one day, let alone 22 days.

00:24:00.730 --> 00:24:05.690
And it was just eating me alive, like I was failing my brothers and sisters, like I could do so much more to help.

00:24:05.849 --> 00:24:12.409
Then the next day, one of my Marine Corps buddies posted a meme that said, Stop doing the fucking push-ups, pick up the phone and call your buddy.

00:24:12.490 --> 00:24:14.730
And that's where like the light bulb went off in my brain.

00:24:14.889 --> 00:24:17.289
I was like, Oh, dude, this is a great idea.

00:24:18.250 --> 00:24:24.409
I originally pitched it to someone else because I didn't think I was worthy or capable or anybody would want to talk to me.

00:24:24.569 --> 00:24:25.609
He turned it down.

00:24:25.769 --> 00:24:32.089
I was in therapy and I was talking to my therapist that I had this idea and he didn't want to do it, and blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:24:32.250 --> 00:24:40.409
She tried to convince me into pulling out my phone and going live in her office, telling all my friends and family that I was gonna start this and this is what I was doing.

00:24:40.569 --> 00:24:44.089
And I was like, now you're the crazy one, let's switch chairs, joking.

00:24:44.250 --> 00:24:48.089
But then I went home and made the video like I promised, and I started this.

00:24:48.169 --> 00:24:50.089
It'll be five years this Veterans Day.

00:24:50.329 --> 00:24:59.129
One thing I want to say about if you ever have a dream or vision or passion to start something, the best thing to do is to make it exist and then make it good.

00:24:59.289 --> 00:25:02.329
Because if you look back in my podcast to begin with, it was trash.

00:25:02.409 --> 00:25:03.609
I didn't even know how to record.

00:25:03.690 --> 00:25:07.690
I was trying to do FaceTime screen record, which didn't even record the audio.

00:25:07.849 --> 00:25:09.210
It was just terrible.

00:25:09.369 --> 00:25:24.009
And I ended up breaking a two and a half year sobriety in order to start the podcast or do the podcast because I thought nobody would want to talk to me unless I was drinking, or because I couldn't be the best version of myself unless I was drinking, which is a lie.

00:25:24.649 --> 00:25:30.409
But it was just I was so insecure and so so lost at the time, I thought I needed to drink.

00:25:30.569 --> 00:25:32.490
But I'm back on that sobriety train.

00:25:32.569 --> 00:25:34.329
I'm more so California sober.

00:25:34.409 --> 00:25:36.409
I'll still smoke canvas here and there.

00:25:36.490 --> 00:25:42.250
Uh, I but my defense for that is like when was the last time you heard Marines burn down a bar because it got too high?

00:25:42.409 --> 00:25:42.809
Never.

00:25:42.970 --> 00:25:45.289
When was the last time they burned down a bar because they drank too much?

00:25:45.450 --> 00:25:47.769
Probably like five minutes ago, right?

00:25:47.929 --> 00:26:08.490
Uh, not a good justification, but I'm also trying to use the cannabis in a more medicinal manner, where instead of having five to ten prescriptions through the VA, I have one or two and I'm managing my pain through the cannabis and not taking it to that recreational level because I do believe there's a huge difference between recreational cannabis and medicinal cannabis.

00:26:09.049 --> 00:26:10.329
Yeah, no doubt, man.

00:26:10.490 --> 00:26:19.049
And you talked about something I think that is really should be encouraging for more veterans out there, and that's therapy.

00:26:19.210 --> 00:26:24.329
How long did it take for you to come to terms that you needed to start doing that?

00:26:24.649 --> 00:26:27.210
Man, I tried to go to therapy while I was in the Marine Corps.

00:26:27.369 --> 00:26:32.329
I mean, I successfully went to therapy while I was in the Marine Corps, but I didn't do the homework.

00:26:32.490 --> 00:26:33.369
I didn't do the work.

00:26:33.529 --> 00:26:38.329
I thought my talking inventing to this person would help solve all my problems.

00:26:38.490 --> 00:26:47.450
And then I got out of the Marine Corps, and it probably took me two to three years to get back into therapy again.

00:26:47.609 --> 00:26:51.769
But then it took me like another two years to start actually doing the homework.

00:26:51.929 --> 00:26:54.009
And I've been to more than just therapy.

00:26:54.089 --> 00:26:55.849
I I've checked myself in one time.

00:26:56.009 --> 00:27:03.049
I went to a two-week mental health program through the Wounded Warrior out in Boston called Home Base, and that was super beneficial.

00:27:03.210 --> 00:27:10.730
Like they teach you sorts of different techniques that you can use, but you're surrounded by veterans that are going through the same things you're going through.

00:27:11.049 --> 00:27:15.210
I appreciate your accountability and your self-awareness.

00:27:16.409 --> 00:27:17.769
This is all I know.

00:27:18.009 --> 00:27:23.769
Like uh I don't want to be, I guess my fear is I have imposter syndrome, right?

00:27:23.849 --> 00:27:30.569
Where like I feel less than, lack then, but I don't want anybody else to be able to say, oh, he's lying, or call me out for some bullshit.

00:27:30.649 --> 00:27:32.970
So I'd rather just tell you the truth right off the bat.

00:27:33.049 --> 00:27:37.369
Like, I don't I don't want to have to feel like I'd lied to somebody and have to keep that lie up.

00:27:37.450 --> 00:27:40.490
I'd rather just be fucking open and honest the entire time.

00:27:40.889 --> 00:27:46.250
Yeah, I think that's the best policy, man, because there's nothing to be ashamed of at all.

00:27:46.490 --> 00:27:53.609
Everybody, I don't care how perfect they they portray themselves, everybody has some shit in their background.

00:27:53.769 --> 00:28:00.809
Like it not there's no one out there that was like the perfect leader, the perfect soldier, the perfect marine every single time, all the time.

00:28:00.970 --> 00:28:02.409
We need to stop thinking like that.

00:28:02.569 --> 00:28:07.929
Even myself, man, there's there's times where I completely failed or I've made bad decisions.

00:28:08.409 --> 00:28:17.289
And the biggest thing for me is to live and learn, look back at it, figure out what I can do better going forward.

00:28:17.609 --> 00:28:23.289
I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and I asked him, you know, he's going through a divorce.

00:28:23.529 --> 00:28:34.730
Um and I I asked him, I said, Hey, if you could go back and put everything back in place the way it was before, and work on yourself and and whatever you need, would you do it?

00:28:35.769 --> 00:28:40.169
And his response was, I don't I don't look back at things, I just keep moving forward.

00:28:40.250 --> 00:28:43.849
And I'm thinking, in my opinion, that's a stupid thing to say.

00:28:44.250 --> 00:28:45.529
That is so stupid.

00:28:45.769 --> 00:28:56.169
Because at the end of the day, we're supposed to reflect, look in the mirror, look at ourselves, look at what we did right, look at what we did wrong, and try to fix things for the future.

00:28:56.409 --> 00:28:57.690
Would you agree with that too?

00:28:58.089 --> 00:28:58.809
Yeah, absolutely.

00:28:58.889 --> 00:29:10.889
You gotta reflect back and see where you did wrong so you can correct it so it doesn't happen again, or where you were right, and or where you exceeded at, so you can mimic that and keep moving forward that way.

00:29:11.049 --> 00:29:13.049
You definitely have to look back in your past.

00:29:13.210 --> 00:29:17.849
If you're not looking back, you're running from something, and eventually it's gonna catch up to you.

00:29:18.089 --> 00:29:26.730
So there's a great saying about the water buffalo, I believe it is, where they're the only animals that turn into the storm when it's coming.

00:29:26.889 --> 00:29:32.009
So it's the fastest way out is to turn into it and embrace it and go through it.

00:29:32.730 --> 00:29:34.169
Yeah, exactly.

00:29:34.490 --> 00:29:44.169
And I'm constantly in my mind reviewing things that my life experiences, and I'm constantly trying to think how could I have handled that better?

00:29:44.250 --> 00:29:45.929
What can I do better for the future?

00:29:46.089 --> 00:29:49.609
You know, everything from mentoring to personal life stuff.

00:29:49.849 --> 00:29:54.009
Um, I think we have a lot in common when it comes to our own pitfalls.

00:29:54.169 --> 00:29:58.809
And you might have you might have came here for the same reason I did when it came to podcasting.

00:29:58.889 --> 00:29:59.529
I felt alone.

00:30:00.089 --> 00:30:09.609
I started during the pandemic, and I live in a big ass city called Los Angeles, but even though we have a lot of people here, this is a really lonely place.

00:30:09.769 --> 00:30:15.769
There's not, I don't connect with a lot of veterans in my own neighborhood or in my own community.

00:30:15.929 --> 00:30:21.049
I mean, we all live in LA, but they're like all over the place, and everybody's too damn busy for each other.

00:30:21.369 --> 00:30:33.210
When you first launched this podcast, what were some of the pitfalls or personal fear, internal resistance that you had to try to kill off?

00:30:33.529 --> 00:30:34.569
Dude, so many.

00:30:34.649 --> 00:30:41.849
Like all my limiting self-beliefs about myself that I'm unworthy, I'm undeserving, nobody wants to talk to me.

00:30:42.009 --> 00:30:43.289
Like, who the fuck am I?

00:30:43.450 --> 00:30:44.970
Sorry, am I allowed to curse on your?

00:30:45.049 --> 00:30:45.929
I'm going to, anyways.

00:30:46.169 --> 00:30:46.490
All right.

00:30:46.649 --> 00:30:50.329
But like, yeah, dude, all those limiting self beliefs, I had them all myself.

00:30:50.490 --> 00:30:51.929
I still battle them to this day.

00:30:52.009 --> 00:30:56.409
Now, even five years into podcasting, there's still times I question like, dude, why?

00:30:56.970 --> 00:30:58.809
Am I on TMF right now, dude?

00:30:58.970 --> 00:31:01.210
Like, what did I do to deserve to be here?

00:31:01.369 --> 00:31:03.690
There's someone more deserving than me, right?

00:31:04.409 --> 00:31:13.769
But I think one of the biggest eye-opening things is when I finally got to understand and accept that nobody's coming to save me except myself.

00:31:13.929 --> 00:31:27.529
So the more that I put into my work and what I'm doing, now I'm hosting two live shows a month where I have live audiences in there watching me talk, where I bring in eight different mental health resources from within the veteran community.

00:31:27.769 --> 00:31:36.329
I think a lot of it also had to do, and I want to blame, I don't want to blame the military, but they do do a great job at keeping us drunk, right?

00:31:36.409 --> 00:31:42.409
Like you go to the PX or the commissary, and the biggest aisles are the alcohol sections.

00:31:42.569 --> 00:31:44.970
It takes up the majority of the store, right?

00:31:45.129 --> 00:31:52.089
Uh I think stopping drinking helped me learn more about myself and who I actually am.

00:31:52.490 --> 00:31:59.289
Because now I'm no longer living in that anxiety, or I still have anxiety, don't get me wrong.

00:31:59.529 --> 00:32:04.889
But drinking brings a different level of anxiety to you because it changes your brain, it changes your thought process.

00:32:05.049 --> 00:32:07.369
So you wake up and you're you're depressed.

00:32:07.450 --> 00:32:09.369
I I woke up and I'd be depressed.

00:32:09.529 --> 00:32:13.849
One of the last times I drank, I was so proud of myself because I only drank Bud Light.

00:32:14.009 --> 00:32:16.970
I didn't mix, I didn't take shots, nothing.

00:32:17.210 --> 00:32:22.329
I got home safely, played with my kids, they went to bed, hung out with the wife.

00:32:22.490 --> 00:32:25.129
I went to bed happy, woke up depressed.

00:32:25.210 --> 00:32:26.889
And I was like, all right, dude, this is enough.

00:32:27.049 --> 00:32:27.690
Why is this?

00:32:27.849 --> 00:32:29.609
And it's just because I wasn't happy in life.

00:32:29.690 --> 00:32:33.769
And drinking made me feel like I was happy, but it was just a mask.

00:32:34.009 --> 00:32:42.649
And then the more I started to like drink, the more you feel like you have to drink, and the sooner you have to have another drink so you can get to being that version of yourself.

00:32:42.809 --> 00:32:47.529
So I finally put all that stuff aside and started to like truly work on myself.

00:32:47.609 --> 00:32:56.569
And bro, two, three years ago, I probably would tell you bullshit that I'm sitting down right now talking to you on our podcast or your podcast.

00:32:56.889 --> 00:33:00.329
I'd be like, there's no way I'm still only doing audio only podcasts.

00:33:00.409 --> 00:33:02.809
I don't want my face seen, nothing like that.

00:33:02.970 --> 00:33:05.129
But now I'm here and I'm fucking talking.

00:33:12.970 --> 00:33:15.929
And what's funny is she mentioned drinking too.

00:33:16.169 --> 00:33:18.889
And here you are mentioned mentioning drinking a lot.

00:33:19.049 --> 00:33:21.609
Um, and she did she did as well.

00:33:21.849 --> 00:33:24.409
And the the issues that she had with it.

00:33:24.809 --> 00:33:32.089
Um it it seems to be a common theme, but I I I wholeheartedly appreciate your honesty talking about that.

00:33:32.250 --> 00:33:40.649
I've had guests on before that act like, oh, I'm so polished and I'm so perfect, and I've never had anything, any vices in my life, and I'm just an angel.

00:33:40.730 --> 00:33:43.609
And I'm like, come on, you know, let's keep it real.

00:33:43.929 --> 00:33:50.730
Yeah, I I say to this day that if you joined the military, once you signed that dotted line, you were a contractual alcoholic.

00:33:50.889 --> 00:33:56.889
Whether you were drinking before you went in, you were definitely going to drink within that first year of being in the fleet.

00:33:57.129 --> 00:34:03.210
And it's like encouraged, it's the thing to do, but it causes the most problems.

00:34:03.529 --> 00:34:17.450
And I always tell people too that um everybody blames the military sometimes for like you, everyone has that epic uncle that joined the military and now he's all fucked up, and it's because of the military.

00:34:17.610 --> 00:34:20.490
And I've always thought to myself, that's not always the case.

00:34:20.650 --> 00:34:23.769
A lot of people go into the military with issues already.

00:34:23.929 --> 00:34:28.409
And what happens is those issues just get magnified even bigger.

00:34:28.650 --> 00:34:37.289
Um, and so whether it's childhood trauma that you've experienced, um, people think, well, I'll just join the military and it'll solve all my issues.

00:34:37.450 --> 00:34:39.369
Like that, it that doesn't always happen.

00:34:39.530 --> 00:34:43.530
If anything, it just blows it up, it makes it even bigger and a lot worse.

00:34:43.690 --> 00:34:45.450
So you got to handle those situations.

00:34:45.610 --> 00:34:59.130
I've had that conversation with some family members of mine where I've said, look, I know you're still young, but I encourage you to go to therapy because it you may have shoved all that stuff down and it's in there somewhere, but it's gonna come back at some point.

00:34:59.289 --> 00:35:03.130
And it's gonna come back like a volcano, and you're not gonna even realize it.

00:35:03.450 --> 00:35:04.329
No, for sure.

00:35:04.490 --> 00:35:08.889
And I'm pretty sure we all have mental health problems that join the military.

00:35:09.130 --> 00:35:14.489
Nobody in their right mind is gonna sign up to go run into bullets getting shot at them, right?

00:35:14.650 --> 00:35:16.809
Like there has to be a reason for that.

00:35:16.969 --> 00:35:23.769
And that's part of the reason like my event's called the sandbox, because our trauma started in the childhood sandbox.

00:35:23.849 --> 00:35:28.250
As veterans, we have trauma from whether going or not going to the sandbox.

00:35:28.409 --> 00:35:31.610
So let's heal as adults in the sandbox together.

00:35:31.849 --> 00:35:32.170
Yeah.

00:35:32.329 --> 00:35:33.769
Oh, that's pretty wise, actually.

00:35:33.849 --> 00:35:42.489
I I never really thought about that that uh relationship of sandbox as a child and sandbox as a as a military veteran.

00:35:42.809 --> 00:35:46.009
Your podcast in general, what's the mission behind your platform?

00:35:46.170 --> 00:35:49.529
When people watch you, what do you want them to walk away with?

00:35:49.849 --> 00:35:56.489
Yeah, J Mac's podcast mission is to combat veteran and first responder suicide while reminding the community that they're not alone.

00:35:56.650 --> 00:35:58.170
We all have our struggles.

00:35:58.489 --> 00:35:58.889
Yeah.

00:35:59.210 --> 00:36:00.409
That's pretty deep, actually.

00:36:00.489 --> 00:36:02.489
And it's it's an extremely important topic.

00:36:02.650 --> 00:36:12.730
I mean, we've we I have personally known several uh members that were in the army while I was in that uh committed suicide after service.

00:36:12.969 --> 00:36:21.849
And I always tell people, like, from a combat veterans perspective, that many times it's not what you deal with over there, it's coming back here.

00:36:22.650 --> 00:36:31.610
And I can tell you that I personally had several soldiers that begged me to stay in Iraq longer, and I didn't understand why.

00:36:31.690 --> 00:36:39.369
As a 24-year-old lieutenant uh downrange, I didn't understand why these 30-year-old NCOs were begging me to stay.

00:36:39.610 --> 00:36:50.409
And what I learned was that several of them simply told me, they said, Look, when I left, I had the white picket fence, I had the dog, I had the kids, I had the house.

00:36:50.650 --> 00:36:56.650
But now when I go home, I've got to go put all my stuff in storage, move in with my parents, and I've got to go to divorce court.

00:36:57.210 --> 00:37:04.409
And that's hard to think about that, you know, you survived a year downrange and then you come back here and your life is going to be completely changed.

00:37:04.570 --> 00:37:08.650
You expect like a hero's welcome and you expect things to be back in place again.

00:37:08.809 --> 00:37:15.369
And oftentimes I wonder how many of the people I served with are doing today with their personal life and how they're handling it.

00:37:15.529 --> 00:37:24.969
But, you know, sometimes I reconnect with them on social media and sometimes I don't, because back when I was in uh the really the hottest thing that we had was like my space, man.

00:37:25.049 --> 00:37:27.849
There was no like LinkedIn and all this other stuff that we have now.

00:37:28.009 --> 00:37:32.889
So it's, you know, people are just getting caught up with getting connected from from my era per se.

00:37:33.130 --> 00:37:33.610
Absolutely.

00:37:33.769 --> 00:37:38.090
And I don't think you you mentioned this and I wanted to follow up, so I'm gonna bring it back a little bit.

00:37:38.250 --> 00:37:43.690
But you said we all have trauma before we join the military, and then you're you're 100% right.

00:37:43.769 --> 00:37:49.769
We have trauma before we join the military, then the military trauma compiles, compounds on top of that trauma.

00:37:49.929 --> 00:37:57.929
But and then we react off of the trauma that we think is caused by the military, but we're only responding that way because of what happened to us as a child.

00:37:58.250 --> 00:38:03.690
So when we go to therapy, we have to stop trying to talk about what happened in the military.

00:38:04.009 --> 00:38:10.250
And we got to take it all the way back to the roots because that's what formed our thought processes, our actions.

00:38:10.409 --> 00:38:18.730
The way we're responding to combat or not seeing combat is all what we programmed or got programmed as a child.

00:38:18.889 --> 00:38:22.250
So that's the coding or whatever you want to call it.

00:38:22.570 --> 00:38:23.849
That's what we have to work on.

00:38:24.009 --> 00:38:25.289
We have to go all the way back.

00:38:25.369 --> 00:38:26.489
We can't just work.

00:38:26.570 --> 00:38:29.610
We're so for me, I've been alive for about 35 years now.

00:38:29.769 --> 00:38:32.489
I can't go back five years and think I'm gonna fix myself.

00:38:32.650 --> 00:38:37.449
No, that's something I do need to work on, but I also need to work on the first 30 years as well.

00:38:38.570 --> 00:38:39.449
That's really important.

00:38:39.610 --> 00:38:42.250
You're right, because life didn't start when you joined the military.

00:38:42.329 --> 00:38:51.690
You had a lot of things that happened before that that you might have to process and get a different perspective on that's gonna keep you moving forward.

00:38:51.849 --> 00:38:59.610
I I've learned over the years that perspective is so important when it comes to being able to keep your wits, not be so short-fused.

00:39:00.170 --> 00:39:09.529
Um, one of the things that I struggled with for a long time was not being able to relate to other people, especially other men, other dads, and things like that.

00:39:09.610 --> 00:39:19.690
But the one thing that I understand is if I'm sitting at a table for dinner, um, the chances of anyone else sitting at that table and having gone to Iraq or Afghanistan is very slim.

00:39:19.849 --> 00:39:22.090
And their perspectives are going to be much different than mine.

00:39:22.250 --> 00:39:36.969
And in today's world, a lot of people gain a very strong uh perspective on world politics just through watching their phones, not actually having been there and done that before.

00:39:37.130 --> 00:39:49.690
And I remembered, I remember when I first got back, I think it was two months after I came back, I was sitting across the table from a cousin of mine, and her husband was sitting there telling me what was going on in Iraq, and my boots were still dirty.

00:39:49.849 --> 00:39:54.969
And that's when I knew back then, I was like, so this is how it's gonna be for the rest of my life.

00:39:55.130 --> 00:39:58.969
I'm gonna have to listen to other people who weren't there tell me how it is.

00:39:59.210 --> 00:40:09.769
And to keep my frustration levels down, I have to have a better perspective that they work in a cubicle every day.

00:40:09.929 --> 00:40:15.210
They've never been in the military, they've never been to boot camp, they never served, they never wore the uniform.

00:40:15.529 --> 00:40:17.690
So their perspectives are their perspectives.

00:40:17.769 --> 00:40:27.449
And that actually helps me out with um just not just not being so short-tempered, I guess, with and so frustrated with just life in general.

00:40:27.610 --> 00:40:35.929
Like I said, I think a lot of our struggles are coming back here and dealing with uh people that just don't understand or don't get it.

00:40:36.250 --> 00:40:39.529
I think that also has to we have to take accountability for that, right?

00:40:39.769 --> 00:40:46.409
And I'm not calling you or any of our other brothers and sisters or myself the victim, but we got to stop with that victim mentality.

00:40:46.489 --> 00:40:48.730
Like, yeah, that's somebody else's fucking opinion.

00:40:48.889 --> 00:40:52.090
Now it's up to us on how we're gonna respond to that or react to that.

00:40:52.250 --> 00:40:54.170
Have you had the ability to sit down?

00:40:54.329 --> 00:41:05.369
Have you noticed any mindset differences from sitting down with Iraq-Afghanistan war veteran to just a veteran who hasn't served and like the difference in the mindset?

00:41:05.449 --> 00:41:10.409
Like, do you feel like you cannot relate to a non-combat veteran?

00:41:10.650 --> 00:41:20.409
I I think that there's um specifics that minute specifics that they may not understand, but for the most part, no.

00:41:22.090 --> 00:41:34.889
Yeah, I mean, there's there's certain things that like a garrison person might see in perspective versus like a combat veteran, but overall as a whole, no, not not really.

00:41:35.929 --> 00:41:36.250
Okay.

00:41:36.889 --> 00:41:37.210
Yeah.

00:41:37.610 --> 00:41:39.210
That's an interesting question though.

00:41:39.769 --> 00:41:40.489
So thank you.

00:41:40.650 --> 00:41:43.049
Because it it was curiosity to me.

00:41:43.130 --> 00:41:46.009
Like, do you feel like you I guess I was relating to me, right?

00:41:46.090 --> 00:41:52.250
Like, do you feel like you can relate to me more equal to or less than uh one of your combat buddies, you know?

00:41:52.409 --> 00:41:56.889
But then if he's your buddy from combat, you're obviously gonna relate to him more because you had that experience with him.

00:41:57.130 --> 00:41:58.969
So there's too many variables, I guess.

00:41:59.210 --> 00:42:12.650
I think there's a lot of things that we can talk about in specifics, like whether it's like dealing with the PXs that were over there or just the funny stuff like that that you had to deal with.

00:42:12.809 --> 00:42:25.210
Um but as far as like talking to people that have not been there before, no, I don't think there's a whole lot of differences um as far as mindset and perspective overall.

00:42:25.449 --> 00:42:26.009
Yeah.

00:42:26.409 --> 00:42:33.529
You know, I've I've looked at some of your content and you you post on a like uh what I would say is unapologetically, right?

00:42:33.610 --> 00:42:35.289
Um and you're very authentic.

00:42:35.610 --> 00:42:37.049
So I want to ask you something.

00:42:37.289 --> 00:42:39.049
Has that ever cost you anything?

00:42:39.769 --> 00:42:40.809
Cost me anything?

00:42:42.170 --> 00:42:44.170
Sure, it's cost me friendships.

00:42:44.409 --> 00:42:48.730
I'm sure it has cost me I'm sure it's cost me something, right?

00:42:48.889 --> 00:42:54.009
But at the end of the day, like, is that a friendship or a cost that like truly mattered?

00:42:54.250 --> 00:42:57.210
I I struggle because I feel like I can help everybody.

00:42:57.369 --> 00:43:00.170
I'm for everyone, but I need to realize I'm not.

00:43:00.409 --> 00:43:01.449
I can't.

00:43:01.690 --> 00:43:07.289
Not not that I can't help them, or even if I could help them, some of them don't even want the help, as we talked about, right?

00:43:07.610 --> 00:43:14.329
And I I think if anything, it it costs me my sanity because I'm trying to be there for everybody the same way I show up for you.

00:43:14.409 --> 00:43:16.730
I show up for everybody else that I meet.

00:43:16.889 --> 00:43:23.210
There's a great saying I heard that like treat everybody you meet like they're the CEO, whether they're the janitor or not.

00:43:23.610 --> 00:43:24.809
And that's what I try to do.

00:43:24.889 --> 00:43:27.929
I try to treat everybody the way I want to be treated.

00:43:28.090 --> 00:43:33.529
Now, what I have been realizing lately is how I said earlier, I don't know how not to be J Mac.

00:43:33.769 --> 00:43:41.610
So I don't know how to be my sarcastic asshole self anymore without feeling bad, like oh fuck, I just caused trauma because that's I'm just so stuck in this world.

00:43:41.769 --> 00:43:47.769
So it it did cost me my sanity to a degree, but I'm also trying to become a better version of myself.

00:43:48.009 --> 00:43:55.049
So I don't I think that's a what it be a green cost, that's a positive, you know, I think it's a positive loss.

00:43:55.289 --> 00:43:55.769
Yeah.

00:43:56.009 --> 00:43:58.969
No, I just asked because I've I've it's cost me.

00:43:59.210 --> 00:44:05.289
Like it's cost me family members, it's cost me friendships, just being honest and being authentic.

00:44:05.369 --> 00:44:17.529
But like you said, if like I don't want people around me to be fake, and I don't want to be fake towards them or pretend that they their hair looks nice when you know it looks like shit.

00:44:17.690 --> 00:44:22.969
Like to be honest with you, like if and it the same for me, like I want people to be honest with me.

00:44:23.130 --> 00:44:24.730
I don't want people to be fake with me.

00:44:24.809 --> 00:44:32.889
I want people to be honest because I'm used to that criticism and I'm good with it, and I can take it and I can try to get better at it or whatever it is.

00:44:33.049 --> 00:44:44.889
But I just feel like sometimes the authenticity and the unapologetic approach sometimes it ends up costing those of us with that type of personality, it cost us those relationships.

00:44:45.049 --> 00:44:48.090
And I just wanted to see what what you thought about that.

00:44:48.650 --> 00:44:50.250
We're on the same page, 100%.

00:44:50.650 --> 00:44:54.809
I had that same experience, but I think the way we need to view it, we need to shift it.

00:44:54.969 --> 00:44:56.489
It's not a cost, bro.

00:44:56.570 --> 00:45:03.449
You're saving yourself time, energy, and everything and trauma or drama, right?

00:45:03.690 --> 00:45:06.570
Because now they're no longer in your life because they can't handle the truth.

00:45:06.650 --> 00:45:11.210
They don't want to better themselves, they don't want to live to a standard that you're willing to accept.

00:45:11.369 --> 00:45:21.289
And that's okay for both of us to understand because there's a situation I'm in right now, kind of, where people around me, they just like to drink.

00:45:21.610 --> 00:45:37.529
But I understand if you can control your drinking and it it maybe it's like once a week, a couple times a week, but like every day, every night, and then like issues are arising from it, but like you don't want to hear how you're flawed, but you're so willing to point somebody else out.

00:45:38.650 --> 00:45:45.130
And that, and then when it comes to the family, there are some times that it is very hard to like be real and open.

00:45:45.289 --> 00:45:48.889
And I I I try to choose my words wisely.

00:45:49.049 --> 00:45:55.929
I almost like going into Chat GPT, say, like, I want to tell them to fuck around and find out, but it tells you a professional version.

00:45:56.090 --> 00:46:03.690
I try to find that professional version when I'm approaching someone that's more important to me, like my parents, my brother, my close friends, and things like that.

00:46:03.929 --> 00:46:10.409
But I also feel like due to the way that I am, it's hard for me to have consistent friendship.

00:46:10.570 --> 00:46:14.009
I'm that friend that we're best friends, but like we may not talk all the time.

00:46:14.090 --> 00:46:16.009
We may not talk for a month, a year, whatever.

00:46:16.090 --> 00:46:19.690
But when we get back together, we start talking again, it's like no time's lost.

00:46:19.849 --> 00:46:25.769
And that makes me almost feel like I almost struggle with that, where I feel like I'm, what's wrong with me?

00:46:25.929 --> 00:46:28.489
Why can't I have a friend that I hang out with every day?

00:46:28.650 --> 00:46:31.210
But then it's like, do I really want somebody I have to hang out with every day?

00:46:31.289 --> 00:46:33.929
I got these kids and this wife I gotta hang out with every day.

00:46:34.170 --> 00:46:35.449
I don't need to add to it.

00:46:35.769 --> 00:46:45.289
No, no, I think at the end of the day, I've always told people that I have friends that I understand what their left and right boundaries are, and I understand what their ceilings are.

00:46:45.449 --> 00:46:53.210
I think a lot of times people just get disappointed and frustrated because they expect certain things out of people.

00:46:54.009 --> 00:47:04.009
But I think for a good leader, it you have to be able to look at someone, figure out what is their left stake, what is their right stake, what is their ceiling.

00:47:04.329 --> 00:47:06.090
This is what I can expect out of them.

00:47:06.409 --> 00:47:14.090
I have friends that have a heart of gold, um, but they're not the type of friends that I would want to start a business with.

00:47:15.610 --> 00:47:20.409
You know, fight to the death type of marine, you know, veterans, and and you know what I mean?

00:47:20.489 --> 00:47:28.329
And it's just one of those things where like you gotta know and kind of compartmentalize like what to expect out of each friend that you surround yourself with.

00:47:28.409 --> 00:47:45.849
And I a lot of people get really frustrated because they expect certain things, but that's to me, that's how I kind of get to know folks and then figure out like this is the friend to have a good time with, this is a friend to have a podcast with, this is a friend to have a business with, like, so on and so forth.

00:47:45.929 --> 00:47:48.570
You it's good to have that variety of people out there.

00:47:49.049 --> 00:47:52.489
That's a skill I'm actively developing in, to be honest.

00:47:52.650 --> 00:48:00.009
Because for the longest time, I always wanted to share my successes, my dreams, my passions with everybody who asked me, even the closest people.

00:48:00.250 --> 00:48:04.009
I have learned the hard way time and time and time again.

00:48:04.170 --> 00:48:05.289
That's not what you do.

00:48:05.449 --> 00:48:08.090
Or at least in my situation, it's not what I can do.

00:48:08.250 --> 00:48:13.210
Because like I want to go to my parents and tell them, like, oh, I'm so excited to do this, I'm so excited to do that.

00:48:13.369 --> 00:48:24.090
And they hit me back with love, but their love is coming from how scared they are, what they don't know, and their concern of me like falling on my face or getting hurt.

00:48:24.409 --> 00:48:24.730
Right.

00:48:24.889 --> 00:48:28.809
So we have to be strategic on who we share things with, right?

00:48:28.889 --> 00:48:33.130
Like you feel like you could potentially share everything with your partner, your wife, your husband, whatever.

00:48:33.289 --> 00:48:37.610
And that's not always the case either, because they're not perfect either.

00:48:37.769 --> 00:48:41.849
So they may not be in the mood to hear it, and that could be very discouraging for you.

00:48:42.090 --> 00:48:47.049
Or they're just not the type of person that needs that that you need to bounce that idea off of.

00:48:47.210 --> 00:48:54.009
And learning who to share with has been a challenge, but it is showing me that I'm growing.

00:48:54.650 --> 00:48:58.409
Honestly, this conversation with you has been sort of a therapy session for me.

00:48:58.570 --> 00:49:00.409
I came into this conversation today hot.

00:49:00.489 --> 00:49:18.090
Like I was like, had such a bad week, um, and feeling like I'm not connected to really anything or anybody, but just talking to you and being able to hear your experiences, your side of everything, it it's great to have this connection.

00:49:18.329 --> 00:49:24.730
And I'm and I I I had this last weekend too with another uh podcast guest that I had, Jenna.

00:49:24.889 --> 00:49:28.329
And it, man, we've talked forever, it seemed like even after the podcast.

00:49:28.409 --> 00:49:29.610
And it was it was refreshing.

00:49:29.690 --> 00:49:32.329
I think we both walked away like feeling better, you know.

00:49:32.409 --> 00:49:44.090
And you and I live hundreds of miles away, but here we are connecting and and talking about mentorship, uh, you know, suicide prevention, all these important, valuable things that we have.

00:49:44.570 --> 00:49:46.409
Taking it back to your childhood, man.

00:49:46.489 --> 00:49:47.289
Who is your mentor?

00:49:47.369 --> 00:49:48.969
Who who poured into you?

00:49:49.210 --> 00:49:51.369
Well, first, Jenna, she's amazing.

00:49:51.529 --> 00:49:57.130
And second, you're not alone on this week being trash or coming into this podcast hot.

00:49:57.369 --> 00:50:06.489
Like it got to the point where I was like, dude, honestly, I I feel like I had a PTSD moment on Halloween and I could not shake out of it the rest of the night.

00:50:06.650 --> 00:50:14.969
And then I woke up yesterday and that energy and all those feelings and emotions were still running in me, and I had no idea I couldn't, I couldn't let it go.

00:50:15.130 --> 00:50:15.929
I was just mad.

00:50:16.090 --> 00:50:21.690
And then today I was a little mad still to the point where like before this podcast, I was like, dude, I need to lay down.

00:50:21.769 --> 00:50:23.449
I don't want to, I don't want a life anymore.

00:50:23.610 --> 00:50:24.969
So I laid down for a little bit.

00:50:25.049 --> 00:50:30.650
And then now I'm on here and I'm talking, my energy feels better, I feel lighter, you know.

00:50:30.809 --> 00:50:32.090
So I appreciate you.

00:50:32.250 --> 00:50:33.529
So thank you for having me today.

00:50:33.610 --> 00:50:37.769
And I'm so grateful that I forced myself to not cancel or back out.

00:50:38.009 --> 00:50:42.969
Dude, I I mean, I I force myself all the time to do stuff.

00:50:43.529 --> 00:50:47.929
But just like a good exercise, just like going to jujitsu, man.

00:50:48.009 --> 00:50:52.170
I was like, I feel like shit, I'm sore, I've got, you know, I could just go home.

00:50:52.409 --> 00:50:56.809
Man, after I'm done getting my ass beat for about an hour, I feel so much better.

00:50:56.889 --> 00:50:58.250
And I'm like, God, I'm glad I came.

00:50:58.409 --> 00:50:59.690
Like I feel better now.

00:50:59.849 --> 00:51:03.769
And yeah, dude, usually the best workouts are the ones you didn't even want to go to.

00:51:04.090 --> 00:51:05.210
Yeah, 100%.

00:51:05.690 --> 00:51:06.090
For sure.

00:51:06.329 --> 00:51:06.650
100%.

00:51:07.049 --> 00:51:09.769
Uh so who poured into me as a child?

00:51:10.009 --> 00:51:14.409
This is a tough question because I don't remember a lot of my childhood.

00:51:14.650 --> 00:51:17.929
And but I'm just gonna go with my dad.

00:51:18.090 --> 00:51:22.329
Uh, I remember my dad is my not 100% my dad, right?

00:51:23.210 --> 00:51:27.929
He is the reason I ended up joining the Marine Corps, even though he told me no, don't do it.

00:51:28.009 --> 00:51:29.690
You're not allowed to, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:51:29.849 --> 00:51:30.090
Right?

00:51:30.170 --> 00:51:32.809
My dad was uh is now a retired police officer.

00:51:32.969 --> 00:51:34.809
So growing up, my dad was always a cop.

00:51:34.889 --> 00:51:36.250
I always wanted to fill his shoes.

00:51:36.329 --> 00:51:42.170
I have a picture of me at like five to seven years old wearing his uniform that's like super baggy and hanging off me.

00:51:42.329 --> 00:51:44.570
And I just always wanted to serve and be a cop.

00:51:44.650 --> 00:51:50.730
And my dad would take me out to have you ever heard of uh the Lions Club?

00:51:51.049 --> 00:51:51.369
No.

00:51:52.329 --> 00:51:58.650
It's an organization within the community that they receive donations and they give back to the community members.

00:51:58.809 --> 00:52:11.289
Like one of the main events that I remember always doing with my dad was the pancake breakfast, where for like two or three dollars, you can come and eat as many pancakes and sausages as you wanted, and just getting the community together.

00:52:11.529 --> 00:52:17.210
And so I think that's where my volunteering and my my desire to serve came from.

00:52:17.610 --> 00:52:19.769
Yeah, I have heard of the Lions Club now that you mentioned it.

00:52:19.849 --> 00:52:21.210
You talked about the pancake.

00:52:21.289 --> 00:52:22.489
Uh yeah, dude.

00:52:22.570 --> 00:52:25.369
I the was it as like a pancake breakfast or something like that?

00:52:25.529 --> 00:52:25.769
Yeah.

00:52:26.090 --> 00:52:28.170
They also sell like the candy too, right?

00:52:28.489 --> 00:52:28.969
Yeah.

00:52:29.210 --> 00:52:30.570
That's where I've seen it before.

00:52:30.889 --> 00:52:35.049
And they would also like collect collect glasses or give out glasses.

00:52:35.210 --> 00:52:40.170
I'm sure there's a I'm sure we're talking about this much of what they do, but that's that's my core memories of them.

00:52:40.409 --> 00:52:40.969
Yeah, me too.

00:52:41.130 --> 00:52:41.529
I too.

00:52:41.690 --> 00:52:42.329
I've got this dog.

00:52:43.769 --> 00:52:56.090
I also want to be honest and open and uh, dad, I'm sorry if you hear this, but like as great as my dad was, I still have trauma and abandonment issues because he works so much to provide the great life that he gave us.

00:52:56.250 --> 00:52:57.610
My dad was always working.

00:52:57.690 --> 00:53:04.650
So I was predominantly raised by my mom, and I feel like that's where I got I'm a little bit more emotional than most men should be, right?

00:53:04.889 --> 00:53:05.529
Yeah.

00:53:06.889 --> 00:53:13.289
Yeah, so look that's how I started the podcast is that like I had a great childhood, but I still got fucked up from it.

00:53:13.449 --> 00:53:14.329
That's a great example.

00:53:14.489 --> 00:53:16.409
My dad did his best, he was out there working.

00:53:16.489 --> 00:53:25.929
I comprehend and I understand that, but the feelings that him not being around or him sleeping or being at work at the hours that I'm up still cause some issues.

00:53:26.250 --> 00:53:26.809
Yeah.

00:53:27.210 --> 00:53:36.329
I I I hear your kids in the background over there playing, and I've got this, I've got this golden doodle right here that's uh seeking seeking my attention as well.

00:53:36.409 --> 00:53:40.489
I'm over here petting him and stuff, and he just can't can't get enough of it, man.

00:53:40.570 --> 00:53:48.809
I've it's it's funny how we have like so many things that we juggle from like fatherhood to work and just taking care of family and everything like that.

00:53:48.969 --> 00:53:51.769
And here we are today, like still doing these podcasts and everything.

00:53:51.849 --> 00:53:55.369
And it's been so awesome to talk to you, man.

00:53:55.610 --> 00:54:01.130
And I just want to ask you, legacy-wise, what does it mean to you in practice?

00:54:01.289 --> 00:54:02.809
Like, not theory.

00:54:03.210 --> 00:54:04.730
Legacy and practice.

00:54:05.049 --> 00:54:06.969
Can you break that down Barney style for me?

00:54:07.210 --> 00:54:10.329
Like, legacy-wise, like what do you want to be known as?

00:54:10.409 --> 00:54:13.449
I I always tell people that your last chapter is not what just happened.

00:54:13.529 --> 00:54:16.489
Like, your last chapter is like this is not over with.

00:54:16.730 --> 00:54:21.929
So, J Mock Podcast, like, where do you want it to go in the next like five, 10 years or so?

00:54:22.250 --> 00:54:26.489
Yo, so J Mac Podcast is gonna go Joe Rogan Who, right?

00:54:26.650 --> 00:54:35.849
I'm gonna be the best podcast there is out there, and I'm going to pass on nothing but generational wealth to my children.

00:54:36.170 --> 00:54:42.090
But I just want to be someone that is recognized that for giving back.

00:54:42.329 --> 00:54:51.929
I want them, I want the my legacy to be like, man, he helps so many people, and I want to be able to stay humble even when I'm at the very top of my game.

00:54:52.170 --> 00:54:55.849
I want to be this version of me when I'm at the top.

00:54:56.170 --> 00:54:58.570
I think that's that's rich.

00:54:58.809 --> 00:55:02.969
I mean, that right there is that makes you a billionaire, honestly, man.

00:55:03.130 --> 00:55:12.009
To be known as someone that gave back their entire lives and tried to make their community, their family, their friends better, you can't ask for more than that, man.

00:55:12.170 --> 00:55:14.170
And I feel your passion just talking to you.

00:55:14.329 --> 00:55:22.570
I mean, you wouldn't get up every day, sacrifice time like this to get on here, record, put yourself out there if you didn't give a shit.

00:55:22.730 --> 00:55:25.449
And man, it's it's been an absolute pleasure talking to you.

00:55:25.529 --> 00:55:31.610
And if this was the last conversation, if this was the last thing that anyone heard from you, what's your message?

00:55:31.849 --> 00:55:33.289
What would be your message to everyone?

00:55:33.529 --> 00:55:34.570
Yo, you're not alone.

00:55:34.650 --> 00:55:36.090
We all have our struggles.

00:55:36.329 --> 00:55:41.210
And I mean that in like not where suck it up, you're not alone.

00:55:41.369 --> 00:55:52.889
I mean it like open up, reach out, go to therapy, get the help, start the business, start bettering your life in the ways you've always dreamed of, but you you haven't yet.

00:55:53.130 --> 00:55:55.289
Take that leap of faith and believe in yourself.

00:55:55.369 --> 00:55:57.049
You're worthy and you're deserving.

00:55:57.369 --> 00:55:58.329
That's huge, man.

00:55:58.409 --> 00:56:02.570
Do you uh sponsor with anyone else that helps you out with that message?

00:56:02.889 --> 00:56:03.929
Do I have sponsors?

00:56:04.170 --> 00:56:15.449
Yeah, do you have any sponsors like uh I just the reason I asked is because I just talked to QRFD and they're a suicide uh prevention uh nonprofit organization.

00:56:15.610 --> 00:56:17.690
Are you sponsored with anyone like them?

00:56:18.170 --> 00:56:20.969
I am sponsored by Total Roofing and Construction.

00:56:21.130 --> 00:56:30.730
They do construction out of Northwest Indiana and Illinois, but I have not collaborated with another veteran suicide organization to that degree yet.

00:56:30.969 --> 00:56:38.329
I've been talking to QRF up for a while now, uh been trying to get them out to my events, and soon we'll we'll cross paths as well.

00:56:38.650 --> 00:56:39.929
Yeah, that's awesome, man.

00:56:40.170 --> 00:56:43.529
Was there anything else in this podcast you'd like me to mention before we wrap it up?

00:56:43.849 --> 00:56:49.610
Yeah, go to JMACPodcast.org or find me on all social media at J Mac Podcast.

00:56:49.929 --> 00:56:54.489
But before we wrap it up, I should have did this in the very beginning, but how are you doing?

00:56:54.730 --> 00:56:57.369
We talked about it briefly, but how are you really doing?

00:56:57.690 --> 00:56:58.570
Not good.

00:56:59.049 --> 00:57:00.009
Not good, man.

00:57:00.170 --> 00:57:04.170
I'm lately I've been really burned out quite a bit.

00:57:04.409 --> 00:57:09.369
Yeah, just conversations like this help, to be honest with you.

00:57:09.690 --> 00:57:14.730
You see how you thought like not good and you were about to tell me more, but you chose not to?

00:57:14.889 --> 00:57:24.889
You need to start going that extra mile and sharing that because you're gonna give other people who listen to you and look up to you the opportunity and freedom to speak about their challenges.

00:57:25.130 --> 00:57:30.570
The one of the things about my podcast is, right, like, oh man, he's such a badass.

00:57:30.650 --> 00:57:38.570
He he's a prior service, now he's in law enforcement, he doesn't have any struggles, he just handles life, he's a badass.

00:57:38.730 --> 00:57:51.049
But then you come on my podcast and we have these deep conversations and you open up and you talk about your challenging childhood, your military troubles, your coping mechanisms that were unhealthy, and now the healthy ones that you're doing.

00:57:51.210 --> 00:57:56.969
And it gives people the chance to look at you like, oh fuck, man, like he does struggle.

00:57:57.130 --> 00:58:00.090
He is just like me, but this is how he gets over it.

00:58:00.250 --> 00:58:01.369
We can learn from everybody.

00:58:01.449 --> 00:58:09.769
You could sit here and tell me nothing but negativity, and I can learn from that because I can relate to something in there and pull that nugget straight out of my life as well.

00:58:09.929 --> 00:58:16.570
Just like us sitting here talking positive to one another, we could take that positivity from each other and implement it in our lives.

00:58:16.889 --> 00:58:23.130
Yeah, I think I'm just still processing, trying to figure out what's going on.

00:58:23.289 --> 00:58:32.570
Uh, like I said, we had a recent uh fam member that passed away and we turned over the her keys to her apartment after she lived there for 40 years.

00:58:33.130 --> 00:58:35.929
Um It's been a lot of ups and downs, man.

00:58:36.009 --> 00:58:39.610
I mean, watching Dodgers win last night was a positive.

00:58:39.849 --> 00:58:43.369
Celebrating my daughter's celebrating my daughter's sixth birthday.

00:58:43.449 --> 00:58:45.049
So it's it's like this, bro.

00:58:45.210 --> 00:58:46.889
It's like, I don't know.

00:58:47.049 --> 00:58:50.969
Like, I'm just like, let's wait till Monday, Tuesday.

00:58:51.210 --> 00:58:54.250
I think I think we also got to recognize that's part of life, right?

00:58:54.329 --> 00:58:57.130
Like, as much as we want it to be baseline and flat, right?

00:58:57.289 --> 00:58:58.009
That's not living.

00:58:58.090 --> 00:58:59.049
That's not reality.

00:58:59.210 --> 00:59:00.889
We have our ups and downs.

00:59:01.049 --> 00:59:17.929
And the part of growth and and being mental health forward and being aware is pulling ourselves back sooner each time we allow ourselves to go down, or even when we're so high and we could take on the world, we got to catch ourselves and realize that's not reality and bring ourselves back down to that baseline.

00:59:18.090 --> 00:59:24.170
So the faster we can pull ourselves up or back down to that baseline means we're growing, we're living and thriving.

00:59:24.329 --> 00:59:26.090
So don't be too hard on yourself.

00:59:26.329 --> 00:59:28.009
But don't hold it all in either.

00:59:28.329 --> 00:59:36.409
I guess for me, it's uh, you know, I really respect the fact that you I don't know if normalize, baseline, whatever you want to say.

00:59:37.210 --> 00:59:44.409
I I respect the fact that you are open to talking about it and normalizing not being okay.

00:59:44.650 --> 00:59:47.610
Because it's okay to not be okay sometimes.

00:59:47.929 --> 00:59:52.969
Um and to talk about it and to just simply talk about it and just know where you're at.

00:59:53.289 --> 00:59:56.409
I think I do it because I'm trying to justify it for myself.

00:59:56.570 --> 00:59:59.289
I'm trying to make it okay for myself to be this way.

00:59:59.449 --> 01:00:03.289
So now if I preach it to everyone else, we can connect on that level.

01:00:03.369 --> 01:00:06.650
And the more that I preach it to someone else, the more we connect.

01:00:06.889 --> 01:00:15.529
There's very few, and I don't even I can't right now in this moment, I can't even think of anybody that like I had this deep conversation with that caused us to go the opposite way.

01:00:15.690 --> 01:00:19.529
In return, it usually solidifies our our friendship, our relationship, right?

01:00:19.769 --> 01:00:20.009
Yeah.

01:00:20.250 --> 01:00:21.769
No, I agree a hundred percent, man.

01:00:21.929 --> 01:00:22.730
I agree a hundred percent.

01:00:22.809 --> 01:00:27.369
I think this conversation is what I needed because I've been I've been really frustrated the last few days, man.

01:00:27.529 --> 01:00:29.769
Just kind of masking it, going through it.

01:00:30.329 --> 01:00:33.210
Grateful and thankful that we got over a lot of things.

01:00:33.289 --> 01:00:39.610
Um, but I'm looking forward to this week and just seeing where we're at, you know, this time next week.

01:00:39.769 --> 01:00:44.250
I think that it's just it's just a tumultuous time for me right now with everything going on.

01:00:44.409 --> 01:00:49.049
So And I want to relate to you on that because, like I said, this week has been hard for me.

01:00:49.130 --> 01:00:56.650
And when I was laying down trying to take a nap before this episode, I had to force myself not to have those dark thoughts.

01:00:57.210 --> 01:00:59.210
Where I would start thinking of like, oh, a gun.

01:00:59.289 --> 01:01:02.969
And I'm like, oh, well, I don't know where this is going, but I don't want to find out.

01:01:03.289 --> 01:01:05.929
So I wouldn't allow myself to think that way, right?

01:01:06.090 --> 01:01:07.610
Because I know where it's going to lead.

01:01:07.690 --> 01:01:10.329
And I don't want to have those thoughts, nor do I want to feel that way.

01:01:10.489 --> 01:01:11.849
I want to be in charge.

01:01:12.009 --> 01:01:16.889
I want to get myself back in charge of my own life before I allow my mind to have those thoughts.

01:01:17.130 --> 01:01:21.210
And the wildest thing that I've been learning is that we are not our thoughts.

01:01:21.369 --> 01:01:22.170
And that's so crazy.

01:01:22.250 --> 01:01:24.570
So, like, who the fuck's in my brain thinking then, right?

01:01:24.809 --> 01:01:26.650
But it's up to us to choose.

01:01:26.809 --> 01:01:30.409
And everything we do in life is a choice, whether we realize it or not.

01:01:30.570 --> 01:01:37.769
We're choosing to wake up and be miserable and stressed out, or we could put in the work even when it's fucking hard and we just want to give up.

01:01:38.009 --> 01:01:41.289
When you put in the work then, that's when the biggest growth is coming.

01:01:41.529 --> 01:01:41.929
Yeah.

01:01:42.250 --> 01:01:42.809
Amen.

01:01:43.130 --> 01:01:44.969
Man, I'm so impressed with this conversation.

01:01:45.130 --> 01:01:49.849
Actually, it it's you lighten my mood, and I really appreciate you talking to me today, Josh.

01:01:49.929 --> 01:02:00.170
I can't tell you how much you know it it means to me for you to show up and sharing your journey, your mindset with everyone that's listening in my audience.

01:02:00.250 --> 01:02:04.329
Um, make sure you follow Joshua on Instagram, YouTube, J Mock Podcast.

01:02:04.570 --> 01:02:06.889
You're also on all the other audios, right?

01:02:07.049 --> 01:02:08.730
The Spotifies and everything else.

01:02:08.969 --> 01:02:09.690
Correct.

01:02:10.009 --> 01:02:12.009
All under J Mac Podcast.

01:02:12.170 --> 01:02:15.049
And honestly, it's been my pleasure to talk to you.

01:02:15.210 --> 01:02:19.449
And don't fucking wait till we are on another podcast to reach out to have a conversation like this.

01:02:19.529 --> 01:02:21.769
I'm down to talk like this all the time.

01:02:22.009 --> 01:02:26.889
And I'd like to invite you out December 28th through 31st, if you're free.

01:02:27.130 --> 01:02:29.369
Come out to Lichfield Park, Arizona.

01:02:29.449 --> 01:02:38.969
There's a collegiate golf tournament called the Patriot All America where the golfers are carrying a fallen service member's name inscribed on the bag in essence giving them their final tour of duty.

01:02:39.130 --> 01:02:42.009
But there's a veteran village with a hiring event.

01:02:42.170 --> 01:02:44.489
I'll be doing two interviews a day out there.

01:02:44.650 --> 01:02:46.329
It'd be a great place to.

01:02:46.570 --> 01:02:51.210
We're not we're only like four or five hours away, so it's not a far escape, uh, right?

01:02:51.369 --> 01:02:55.130
But it's still a way to get out and be around veteran individuals.

01:02:55.369 --> 01:02:57.049
Yeah, I have a cousin that lives out there.

01:02:57.210 --> 01:02:57.610
So yeah.

01:02:57.849 --> 01:02:58.650
Perfect.

01:02:58.889 --> 01:02:59.690
All right, folks.

01:02:59.849 --> 01:03:05.610
Until next time, as always, I want you to stay tuned, stay focused, and stay motivated.

01:03:05.849 --> 01:03:07.529
Warriors, fall out.