Oct. 22, 2025

From Military Spouse to True Crime: A Case, A Calling, A Community with Rietta Boksha

From Military Spouse to True Crime: A Case, A Calling, A Community with Rietta Boksha

Shoot me a message! We trace the unresolved death of Heather Turner through verifiable facts, while exploring how a military spouse-turned-host balances advocacy, intuition and family life. Along the way we talk stress, functional medicine, compound grief and why facts must lead feelings. • military life rhythms and finding stability during moves • origins of the podcast and pivot into true crime • how a suspect narrative unraveled under scrutiny • key inconsistencies in timelines and 911 de...

Apple Podcasts podcast player badge
Spotify podcast player badge
Castro podcast player badge
RSS Feed podcast player badge
Apple Podcasts podcast player icon Spotify podcast player icon Castro podcast player icon RSS Feed podcast player icon

Shoot me a message!

We trace the unresolved death of Heather Turner through verifiable facts, while exploring how a military spouse-turned-host balances advocacy, intuition and family life. Along the way we talk stress, functional medicine, compound grief and why facts must lead feelings.

• military life rhythms and finding stability during moves
• origins of the podcast and pivot into true crime
• how a suspect narrative unraveled under scrutiny
• key inconsistencies in timelines and 911 details
• rural connections, power dynamics and an open investigation
• advocacy through TikTok using only sourced facts
• safety, boundaries and trusting intuition
• stress, trauma and links to health and burnout
• functional medicine and root-cause thinking
• ALS, family proximity and compound grief
• facts before feelings in public discourse
• writing books, viral moments and next creative steps

Resources Mentioned

Killing Chaos Book
https://www.amazon.com/Killing-Chaos-Veterans-Didnt-Fighting/dp/B09RM4BTYJ

Follow Rietta on Instagram and TikTok
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rietta_books_truth_vibes/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@riettaboksha


Support the show

Check out our website

Please Support & Donate to the Podcast: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/themorningform

USA Made socks with a Purpose. 20% off with code: TMF
https://www.solediersocks.com/tmf

Episode Powered By Act Now Education

00:00 - Welcome Back & Military Life Update

05:11 - Clubhouse Connections That Lasted

09:36 - Pivoting the Podcast’s Purpose

14:06 - The Guest With Too Many Stories

18:26 - Inside the Heather Turner Case

24:26 - Red Flags, Timelines, and Evidence

29:41 - Rural Power and an Open Case

34:56 - Advocacy, TikTok, and Only Facts

40:26 - Boundaries, Safety, and Courage

45:56 - Intuition, Mindset, and Robin

51:56 - Stress, Trauma, and Health

58:56 - Functional Medicine and the Brain

01:05:26 - ALS, Family, and Compound Grief

WEBVTT

00:00:00.640 --> 00:00:01.600
Warriors fallen.

00:00:01.919 --> 00:00:03.200
It's time for formation.

00:00:03.359 --> 00:00:16.239
Welcome back to the Morning Formation Podcast, where we dive deep into the stories of resilience, service, and transformation, stories that go beyond the struggle, celebrate those who went from hardship to hero, and highlight the mindset of survivability.

00:00:16.480 --> 00:00:24.079
I'm your host, KP, Army Combat Veteran, former law enforcement officer, and lifelong student of leadership tactics and the human spirit.

00:00:24.239 --> 00:00:28.640
Today I'm honored to welcome back a great friend of mine, Rietta Bokcha.

00:00:29.039 --> 00:00:30.399
She's a military spouse.

00:00:30.559 --> 00:00:36.560
Her husband is in the Marine Corps, and he's currently just got promoted to warrant officer, right?

00:00:36.960 --> 00:00:37.920
Yeah, yeah.

00:00:38.240 --> 00:00:39.679
He's a gunner, yep.

00:00:40.079 --> 00:00:44.880
Yeah, I mean, you've uh since I've met you, you started off in Hawaii and now you're living on the East Coast.

00:00:44.960 --> 00:00:52.399
You're truly living the military lifestyle, the military spouse lifestyle, uh, where you're constantly moving.

00:00:52.479 --> 00:00:59.679
But you've had some some uh I guess settle residents there on the east coast, right?

00:00:59.920 --> 00:01:00.960
That's the hope.

00:01:01.119 --> 00:01:11.840
Um, I've pretty much told my husband at this point, because he just hit 15 years, and because our son's gonna be going into high school, I'm like, if you get orders to go somewhere else, I love you, but I'm staying here.

00:01:12.719 --> 00:01:13.280
Yeah.

00:01:13.599 --> 00:01:19.200
I met you uh like four years ago on Clubhouse.

00:01:19.760 --> 00:01:21.040
Yeah, I think it was Clubhouse.

00:01:21.120 --> 00:01:22.799
Is Clubhouse even around anymore?

00:01:23.040 --> 00:01:23.439
It is.

00:01:23.599 --> 00:01:31.280
I still have the app saved on my phone, and I logged in the other day just to check it out, and there's people still on it.

00:01:31.680 --> 00:01:32.400
Oh, okay.

00:01:32.480 --> 00:01:33.120
Well, good to know.

00:01:33.200 --> 00:01:34.000
Maybe I need to go back there.

00:01:34.079 --> 00:01:35.519
But yeah, I'm pretty sure it was Clubhouse.

00:01:35.599 --> 00:01:40.239
We were just we both happened to be, I think we were in a room about podcasting.

00:01:40.719 --> 00:01:41.120
Hmm.

00:01:41.359 --> 00:01:44.400
Yeah, I made a lot of really deep connections on that.

00:01:44.480 --> 00:01:53.280
Um, for those of you that don't know, Clubhouses, Clubhouse is an app that became popular during the pandemic, and it was an all-audio app.

00:01:53.439 --> 00:01:54.480
There was no video.

00:01:54.879 --> 00:01:58.239
So the only thing that you heard was somebody's voice.

00:01:58.400 --> 00:02:12.080
And what's odd about that is that I found that I made deeper connections with people, even like the nonprofit space with ACNOEcation that I'm still a part of today, and it's been what four or five years?

00:02:12.240 --> 00:02:15.280
And even Rietta here, who I've been in contact with over the years.

00:02:15.439 --> 00:02:18.319
So that's uh I don't know why that app died.

00:02:18.400 --> 00:02:18.879
I really don't.

00:02:18.960 --> 00:02:21.680
I think we just got shallow again and needed to have video.

00:02:22.879 --> 00:02:25.840
I mean, if you don't know, I certainly don't know.

00:02:25.919 --> 00:02:28.159
I honestly didn't even know if it still existed.

00:02:28.240 --> 00:02:31.759
I might have to pop on there just for for shits and giggles.

00:02:31.840 --> 00:02:33.520
But yeah, it's kind of funny you say that.

00:02:33.599 --> 00:02:35.759
I think I did make some really good connections on there too.

00:02:35.840 --> 00:02:41.199
Like aside from you and actually, no, you introduced me to Robin.

00:02:41.280 --> 00:02:42.639
I was like, did I meet you through Robin?

00:02:42.719 --> 00:02:45.439
But no, it was it you introduced me to Robin.

00:02:45.599 --> 00:02:47.599
So no, it was definitely Clubhouse.

00:02:48.159 --> 00:02:54.879
Yeah, I reached out to her recently to see if she wanted to do a podcast, and we haven't been able to connect yet and get get the our schedules right.

00:02:54.960 --> 00:03:03.120
Sometimes I'm very last minute, like I was with this interview, and I appreciate you being flexible and jumping on with me because Rietta, I've been meaning to catch up to you.

00:03:03.360 --> 00:03:15.039
You've pivoted so much in the last few years, and I've been uh sort of staying in in touch and in contact with what you're what you've got going on.

00:03:15.280 --> 00:03:19.759
And can you talk to me a little bit about your podcasts?

00:03:19.919 --> 00:03:24.159
Um, and then also to what you just started recently with the truth vibes.

00:03:25.199 --> 00:03:26.400
Yeah, absolutely.

00:03:26.560 --> 00:03:34.159
I mean, um, as you know, but for anybody who's new, uh, I started a podcast actually right before the pandemic, ironically, with my cousin.

00:03:34.319 --> 00:03:36.159
It started out as a joke.

00:03:36.319 --> 00:03:44.159
We just wanted to get on and talk about our crazy family because we come from a pretty big family, and uh it morphed into so much more than that.

00:03:44.319 --> 00:03:46.719
We now talk to, or well, now it's just me.

00:03:46.800 --> 00:03:55.039
Uh Connie has since become a mom and just doesn't have the time, which is totally understandable, but I wasn't ready to hang up the reins.

00:03:55.280 --> 00:04:05.759
But we've talked to so many incredible people, basically the everyday heroes of our lives, you know, the people that have literally walked through the shit and come out the other side.

00:04:05.919 --> 00:04:07.599
Uh, like you know, you've talked to John.

00:04:07.680 --> 00:04:17.199
You know, John is a great example of somebody that is massively resilient that came back for more a quadruple amputee and has since had two real arms transplanted on his body.

00:04:17.279 --> 00:04:25.600
But I've talked to cancer survivors, double lung trans recipients, people who have been through all sorts of different types of trauma.

00:04:26.480 --> 00:04:32.639
And how I ended up in the truck true crime space was it literally just fell into my lap.

00:04:32.879 --> 00:04:35.040
It was not anything that I like sought after.

00:04:35.199 --> 00:04:42.399
I mean, I've always been fascinated with it, which I know men make a lot of jokes about, like, oh, all these wives are into the true crime stuff.

00:04:42.480 --> 00:04:45.360
They're gonna, they're gonna gang up on us one day.

00:04:45.600 --> 00:04:56.639
But it was just somebody in I interviewed that actually is from the group that I think you're in too, KP, on Facebook, where you can find the guests that's got like there's like 70,000 people in that group.

00:04:56.879 --> 00:05:03.439
And he actually was in that group, uh, but his name was um, I guess an alias you could call it.

00:05:03.519 --> 00:05:04.720
It wasn't his real name.

00:05:04.879 --> 00:05:11.439
So I didn't find out who he actually was and who his wife was until after I interviewed him.

00:05:11.680 --> 00:05:20.639
And of course, I look it up and all these articles come up about what happened, and I'm like, oh my god, what did I get myself what did I get myself into?

00:05:21.360 --> 00:05:23.839
So I just hung on to the interview for a year.

00:05:24.000 --> 00:05:30.319
Um, to be completely honest, I was not in the headspace or the understanding to even know what I had with his interview.

00:05:30.560 --> 00:05:33.439
And initially I did really feel bad for him.

00:05:33.600 --> 00:05:39.199
Um, he came on to talk about how ever since his wife's passing, he had been bullied on the internet.

00:05:39.519 --> 00:05:43.680
I had recently been bullied on the internet, so I really felt sympathy for him.

00:05:43.920 --> 00:05:50.000
And then later on, once I really dived into the case, I was like, this is not this is not at all what I thought it was.

00:05:50.240 --> 00:05:51.279
Not even close.

00:05:51.600 --> 00:05:56.800
So from the podcast and being in that Facebook group, you were looking for guests.

00:05:57.120 --> 00:05:57.519
Yes.

00:05:57.759 --> 00:06:00.800
Um, and the podcast is how to deal when the shit gets real.

00:06:01.439 --> 00:06:01.759
Right.

00:06:01.920 --> 00:06:04.480
And I I thought you and Connie made a really great tandem.

00:06:04.560 --> 00:06:17.279
I remember being interviewed by both of you, and there was a lot of chemistry between both of you, and and you were both very driven, and you understood your roles and everything, and and I understand like chapters change, and Connie became a mother.

00:06:17.439 --> 00:06:20.319
And um, I'm glad to hear that you kept it going though.

00:06:20.399 --> 00:06:27.360
And it's funny how you stumble upon certain things, like a particular guest that kind of pivots you in a new direction.

00:06:27.839 --> 00:06:32.480
Um, what was that interaction like when you first started talking to this individual?

00:06:32.720 --> 00:06:35.279
So when I first started talking to him, it did feel off.

00:06:35.439 --> 00:06:37.839
And it was also, it wasn't just him, it was him and his son.

00:06:38.000 --> 00:06:42.399
So I was talking to, and I believe his son at the time was he was pretty much an adult.

00:06:42.480 --> 00:06:43.759
I think he was 18.

00:06:44.240 --> 00:06:46.560
Um and it just it did.

00:06:46.639 --> 00:06:48.079
It felt weird from the beginning.

00:06:48.240 --> 00:06:51.120
He's written a book about the whole situation.

00:06:51.279 --> 00:07:07.040
He was trying to get a movie made, and I know everybody grieves differently, and I'm not trying to judge, but it just felt weird that his wife supposedly committed suicide and he's trying to profit off that.

00:07:07.199 --> 00:07:08.639
It just it felt icky.

00:07:08.959 --> 00:07:11.519
And I'm sure probably people listening are going, What?

00:07:12.399 --> 00:07:12.879
Why?

00:07:13.120 --> 00:07:14.879
And that was exactly my initial reaction.

00:07:15.120 --> 00:07:17.600
Why would you write a book?

00:07:17.759 --> 00:07:23.839
I mean, I could see writing a book maybe as like a memoir, right, but not as a way to make income.

00:07:24.000 --> 00:07:26.560
So it just it didn't feel right from the beginning.

00:07:26.720 --> 00:07:28.879
I just couldn't quite put my finger on it at first.

00:07:29.199 --> 00:07:30.800
It wasn't a book what I was feeling.

00:07:31.120 --> 00:07:36.399
It wasn't a book about coping, it was a book about her suicide and her killing herself.

00:07:37.040 --> 00:07:57.759
I haven't read it, so I can't tell you for certain what it's all about, but from what I've heard, it's it's yeah, it's about her suicide, it's about everything they've dealt with after how they were, you know, getting their house spray painted and tires cut, and there's chapters written by all four children, and it's just it's very strange.

00:07:59.360 --> 00:08:06.720
So when you first started talking to this guest off of the Facebook group, what was the connection?

00:08:06.879 --> 00:08:15.519
Like you think it was just you stumbled upon them and they stumbled upon you, and the conversation started, or were they from somewhere?

00:08:16.319 --> 00:08:18.240
Have you looked, have you gotten guests in there?

00:08:18.319 --> 00:08:21.600
So I I kind of just made a post, and you know, and you go through all the comments.

00:08:21.759 --> 00:08:24.879
So essentially I just made a post saying, Hey, I'm looking for guests for my podcast.

00:08:24.959 --> 00:08:26.160
This is usually what we talk about.

00:08:26.240 --> 00:08:28.639
You know, if you're interested, let me know below.

00:08:28.879 --> 00:08:30.800
And actually, somebody tagged him.

00:08:31.040 --> 00:08:35.279
So he didn't even um he wasn't even the one that initially responded.

00:08:35.360 --> 00:08:37.039
He got tagged by somebody else.

00:08:37.200 --> 00:08:39.120
And I usually respond to pretty much everybody.

00:08:39.200 --> 00:08:45.440
You know, if somebody's interested and you have a pretty good story, you know, I'm gonna give you an opportunity to come on the podcast and chat.

00:08:45.519 --> 00:08:50.879
And out of all the people I've interviewed, you know, I'm 200 plus episodes deep at this point.

00:08:51.200 --> 00:08:52.720
Really haven't had a bad one.

00:08:53.039 --> 00:08:55.360
So I always give everybody a shot.

00:08:55.600 --> 00:08:59.759
Didn't really think anything of it until I was already like neck deep.

00:08:59.840 --> 00:09:01.679
And I'm going, oh my God.

00:09:02.320 --> 00:09:04.720
So you you just mentioned you haven't had a bad guest.

00:09:04.799 --> 00:09:06.080
Do you really mean that?

00:09:07.440 --> 00:09:09.440
I've of course I'm not gonna call anybody.

00:09:09.519 --> 00:09:15.279
I've had maybe I could think of one off the top of my head that I literally told her, I'm like, I'm sorry, thank you for your time.

00:09:15.360 --> 00:09:17.360
But I and I had interviewed, I interviewed her and everything.

00:09:17.440 --> 00:09:19.120
I just told her I wasn't gonna use it.

00:09:19.360 --> 00:09:21.039
Um she got super mad.

00:09:21.120 --> 00:09:27.279
And I was really polite, didn't say anything mean, but that was really the only one out of like the 200 I can think of.

00:09:28.080 --> 00:09:34.399
I've had I have had guests before that I didn't think would be bad and they end up being really bad.

00:09:34.639 --> 00:09:40.720
I've had guests that I didn't think they would be very good, but then they surprise me.

00:09:40.879 --> 00:09:42.559
So you just really don't know.

00:09:42.720 --> 00:09:44.320
You know, it's that's true.

00:09:44.559 --> 00:09:56.720
Like on one hand, if you pick a guest that is polished and they have their story created and also polished, they have their marketing together.

00:09:57.039 --> 00:10:05.120
It feels a little artificial, but sometimes when you find a guest that's kind of in the rough, it feels a little more authentic.

00:10:05.360 --> 00:10:11.840
And it's like I it's weird because like some of my best episodes are people that have never been on a podcast before.

00:10:12.080 --> 00:10:21.440
Um and so it's it's I don't know, for me it's been really hit and miss, but to kind of stumble upon an interesting story like the one you're talking about.

00:10:21.600 --> 00:10:31.440
So basically it was someone that was tagged, and then this guy had a story where he was trying to profit off of a situation where his wife killed him, killed herself.

00:10:32.000 --> 00:10:39.919
Um which and then it sounds like you started researching a little bit more and a little bit more, and things just got kind of strange.

00:10:40.080 --> 00:10:42.799
At any point, did you have a conversation with him?

00:10:43.120 --> 00:10:48.000
No, I've never I've decided not to reach out to him directly because he does not respond well.

00:10:48.159 --> 00:10:50.000
Um so this is about Heather Turner.

00:10:50.080 --> 00:10:51.440
I have no problem saying her name.

00:10:51.600 --> 00:10:57.759
Um, you'll know who the husband is right away if you look him up, but I'm not gonna give him any clout because he doesn't serve it.

00:10:57.919 --> 00:11:01.200
Um, and I'm not gonna bash him either because that's not my job.

00:11:01.360 --> 00:11:06.559
Um I do do TikToks on it, but I only give the facts.

00:11:06.720 --> 00:11:08.159
My opinion does not matter.

00:11:08.320 --> 00:11:10.240
Heather is the only thing that matters.

00:11:10.480 --> 00:11:14.879
So when I started looking into the case, it just didn't make sense.

00:11:14.960 --> 00:11:28.320
And you as a law enforcement person will understand, like so she supposedly killed herself, but she was completely nude, wet, had just gotten out of the shower with her daughter, her eight-year-old daughter in the house.

00:11:28.480 --> 00:11:30.960
I can't think of any mother that would do that.

00:11:31.759 --> 00:11:37.840
And then she also supposedly shot herself with her non-dominant hand, which again, who does that?

00:11:38.480 --> 00:11:38.879
That's odd.

00:11:39.120 --> 00:11:40.320
It's all very strange.

00:11:41.200 --> 00:11:47.759
And the weapon was not next to her, it was wrapped in a bloody towel next to the toilet.

00:11:48.159 --> 00:11:52.480
So if she supposedly unalived herself, you can tell I'm used to talking on TikTok.

00:11:53.120 --> 00:11:56.879
If she supposedly harmed herself, why did he move the weapon?

00:11:57.120 --> 00:11:58.799
He took off his bloody t-shirt.

00:11:58.879 --> 00:11:59.759
Why would he do that?

00:11:59.919 --> 00:12:04.639
There's just so many weird things he called his parents before he called 911.

00:12:05.360 --> 00:12:13.039
There's a 30-minute gap between when she was deemed gone and when the 911 call was made.

00:12:13.200 --> 00:12:14.799
What happened in that 30 minutes?

00:12:14.960 --> 00:12:17.519
Like there's just so many unanswered questions.

00:12:18.399 --> 00:12:19.200
That's interesting.

00:12:19.360 --> 00:12:22.879
So what was the what was the verdict from the police report?

00:12:23.039 --> 00:12:24.559
Do you have any idea?

00:12:24.960 --> 00:12:28.000
It's still open, it has never been closed.

00:12:28.159 --> 00:12:34.879
Um, he claims that it was deemed a self-unaliving of suicide within the first three hours, which is not true.

00:12:35.120 --> 00:12:36.480
He was confusing.

00:12:36.720 --> 00:12:41.039
You know how when everybody leaves the scene, they close the scene.

00:12:41.279 --> 00:12:44.159
He thought that meant that they closed the case, which is not what happened.

00:12:44.320 --> 00:12:45.600
It's so it's never been closed.

00:12:45.679 --> 00:12:47.039
It is still an open investigation.

00:12:47.120 --> 00:12:48.000
It's been eight years.

00:12:48.159 --> 00:12:51.519
It was never deemed suicide, and it was never deemed homicide.

00:12:51.840 --> 00:12:54.559
Now, is this in a a rural location?

00:12:55.039 --> 00:12:55.519
Yes.

00:12:55.759 --> 00:12:57.360
That also plays a huge factor.

00:12:57.679 --> 00:13:02.159
It's in Pauldon County, Georgia, which is a small town in Georgia.

00:13:02.399 --> 00:13:06.159
Um, his mother works for the probate court, so he also has connections.

00:13:06.320 --> 00:13:07.759
He has a connection to the DA.

00:13:07.840 --> 00:13:13.600
Um, the DA is different now, but when the case happened, he had a very deep connection to the DA.

00:13:13.919 --> 00:13:16.480
Um, he probably has more connections than that.

00:13:16.639 --> 00:13:21.679
So it's a good old boys situ it's a it's literally a good old boys situation down there.

00:13:22.000 --> 00:13:42.799
Yeah, people think that that's something from like the 1950s or the 1960s, but some of those rural communities with local small police departments that have strong ties, uh sometimes can be corrupt and can be very tight-knit type of communities where they cover for each other.

00:13:43.360 --> 00:13:44.879
So I mean at that point.

00:13:45.039 --> 00:13:53.919
I mean, something's clearly going on because he's never even been formally questioned by police, which that should have been done from the very get-go.

00:13:54.080 --> 00:13:59.200
If something ever happened to me, heaven forbid, or something ever happened to my husband, I would hope they would question me.

00:13:59.279 --> 00:14:01.759
I'd want them to question me because that's their job.

00:14:02.320 --> 00:14:02.960
Right.

00:14:03.840 --> 00:14:05.600
That sounds that sounds pretty wild.

00:14:05.679 --> 00:14:06.960
So, how deep did you get into it?

00:14:07.120 --> 00:14:08.960
Like I know you say you you've done TikToks.

00:14:09.200 --> 00:14:12.879
What's been some of the responses that you've seen?

00:14:13.200 --> 00:14:17.919
Um, so there's a gal that has been an advocate for Heather from the beginning.

00:14:18.000 --> 00:14:19.039
Her name is Mary.

00:14:19.120 --> 00:14:23.440
She runs the Justice for Heather Turner page on Facebook and TikTok.

00:14:23.759 --> 00:14:27.600
So um I'm become very close with her, obviously.

00:14:27.840 --> 00:14:32.480
And um she's just so grateful to have somebody else on her side.

00:14:32.639 --> 00:14:43.120
And people are usually very receptive because unlike a lot of people on TikTok, and I'm not trying to bash anybody on TikTok, I don't, I like I said, I don't give my opinion.

00:14:43.279 --> 00:14:53.759
I just I literally read from court documents, I read from newspaper articles, and just give the facts and then let people decide what they think based on what I give them.

00:14:54.639 --> 00:14:58.399
So have you gotten any response from the family or anybody on the other side of the case?

00:14:58.639 --> 00:15:00.879
So GBI won't respond to us at all.

00:15:01.039 --> 00:15:02.960
Um, I've gotten responses from the coroner.

00:15:03.120 --> 00:15:03.919
She's very nice.

00:15:04.080 --> 00:15:05.200
She's sent me the report.

00:15:05.279 --> 00:15:07.519
I've been able to read over the coroner's report.

00:15:07.679 --> 00:15:11.519
Um Mary talks more directly to like Pauldon County itself.

00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:12.960
I don't really talk to the police department.

00:15:13.120 --> 00:15:16.480
The only thing I did do was I sent them my interview.

00:15:16.639 --> 00:15:19.840
I sent them the podcast interview for them to look over.

00:15:20.080 --> 00:15:21.360
They never said anything.

00:15:21.600 --> 00:15:24.000
So don't know what happened with that.

00:15:24.960 --> 00:15:26.159
It's all very strange.

00:15:26.480 --> 00:15:29.120
Yeah, so you did a podcast interview with with who?

00:15:29.840 --> 00:15:31.759
So with him and his son.

00:15:32.000 --> 00:15:32.559
Hmm.

00:15:32.799 --> 00:15:33.840
Okay, okay.

00:15:34.000 --> 00:15:37.759
So you started looking into the case and then you had a conversation with him.

00:15:38.000 --> 00:15:39.759
Did you release the podcast?

00:15:40.080 --> 00:15:55.120
I did not release the podcast, but I have released released some of the audio because I use some of what he told me in the interview, and I cross and do a cross-analysis with you know other documents because he consistently tells different stories.

00:15:55.360 --> 00:16:04.240
So what he told me will be different than what he told another podcaster or what he told the newspaper or what he told, you know, somebody else.

00:16:04.480 --> 00:16:07.360
He has so many different stories about what happened.

00:16:07.600 --> 00:16:08.320
That's interesting.

00:16:08.879 --> 00:16:13.519
Like, for example, one of the biggest differences has to do with his daughter.

00:16:13.679 --> 00:16:18.639
Um on the day that Heather supposedly killed herself.

00:16:19.600 --> 00:16:24.320
In the 911 call itself, the operator asked him, Is there anybody else in the house?

00:16:24.480 --> 00:16:27.679
You know, very standard question for a 911 operator ask.

00:16:27.840 --> 00:16:29.519
And he says, Yes, my daughter's here.

00:16:30.080 --> 00:16:32.559
She asked him where he where she is.

00:16:32.720 --> 00:16:34.080
She's asleep on the couch.

00:16:34.639 --> 00:16:47.519
When I interviewed him, he said he heard a noise, wasn't sure what it was, ran to go see, and him and the daughter met at the bathroom door, and he opened the door and you know, he saw the whole thing.

00:16:47.679 --> 00:16:52.159
She supposedly only saw like her mother's legs, and then he grabbed her and ran her out of the room.

00:16:52.320 --> 00:16:54.720
So those are two very, very different stories.

00:16:56.879 --> 00:17:02.240
So has this led you down a path to take a look at other cases?

00:17:03.279 --> 00:17:05.759
I've had people ask me, I haven't yet.

00:17:05.920 --> 00:17:17.839
Um stuff like this, especially because Heather's case has gone on so long, I've tried to just focus on Heather and until we can get an answer, even if it's not necessarily an answer we want.

00:17:18.079 --> 00:17:25.599
I actually have a dear friend who just told me about her sister, and her sister's case is wild too.

00:17:25.759 --> 00:17:30.240
Um I did start reading about it, but I haven't started making like videos or anything on it yet.

00:17:30.480 --> 00:17:40.319
I don't really like, I mean, you know me, I like to do a lot of different things, but with stuff like this, it just it feels like one case at a time is how it should be done.

00:17:40.400 --> 00:17:43.359
You know, one case deserves like a full attention.

00:17:43.759 --> 00:17:44.079
Right.

00:17:44.240 --> 00:17:46.000
It's not time to move on yet.

00:17:46.319 --> 00:17:48.400
The uh what about Heather's family?

00:17:48.640 --> 00:17:50.319
I've talked to her Aunt Cindy once.

00:17:50.480 --> 00:17:55.039
She's a sweetheart, but she's understandably absolutely heartbroken.

00:17:55.119 --> 00:17:57.200
Uh, she viewed Heather as a daughter.

00:17:57.599 --> 00:18:01.839
And you know, you it's a heavy thing for her to carry to not have an answer.

00:18:02.000 --> 00:18:04.960
So I I don't reach out to her too much.

00:18:05.039 --> 00:18:07.200
I don't want to constantly be that reminder.

00:18:07.279 --> 00:18:12.799
Um, but they know they know that I'm working on it and that I have good intentions and that I'm here for them.

00:18:13.119 --> 00:18:14.400
But it's hard.

00:18:14.559 --> 00:18:23.440
That's one of the reasons that I do keep working on this and at least want an answer because I can't imagine how they feel not having answers about Heather.

00:18:24.240 --> 00:18:30.400
Have they started any type of like fundraiser or anything like that to hire like a private investigator?

00:18:31.279 --> 00:18:34.720
From what I remember, because again, I came into this way later.

00:18:34.880 --> 00:18:41.279
Uh, they did hire a private investigator at one point and it just they didn't it didn't result in anything.

00:18:41.440 --> 00:18:48.880
And like I said, Mary's been working on this for seven and a half years since she's been in it, and it's just it's been an uphill battle.

00:18:49.039 --> 00:18:52.799
We can't get sell on answers, they'll only release so much information.

00:18:53.039 --> 00:19:04.960
I was able to get a report that nobody else was able to get, so there was that, but our hands are kind of tied and we're just doing the best I can or best we can, and that's why I just I keep putting it on TikTok.

00:19:05.200 --> 00:19:23.359
And recently I started going all the way back because he was married once before and started giving a full breakdown of his history because it shows a clear pattern of abuse, of manipulation, of lying to law enforcement, of criminal activity.

00:19:23.599 --> 00:19:30.880
So I went all the way back and we're just I'm running through the whole timeline to just show he's been like this long before Heather.

00:19:32.880 --> 00:19:45.759
Yeah, that's the one thing is like consistency over time versus like having one event happen is usually some form of guilt in in a sense.

00:19:45.920 --> 00:19:50.880
Like when you show consistent I guess characteristics, crimes, things like that.

00:19:51.519 --> 00:19:52.480
What's your husband?

00:19:52.720 --> 00:19:54.400
What's your husband who who's in the Marine Corps?

00:19:54.480 --> 00:19:56.240
What what does he think about all this?

00:19:57.039 --> 00:19:59.359
Um he he's such a good support of me.

00:19:59.440 --> 00:20:04.160
I'm sure sometimes he's like, this girl's nuts, but he's such a good husband, he's so supportive.

00:20:04.319 --> 00:20:08.160
Um, he always is supportive of everything I do, which I'm very blessed.

00:20:08.319 --> 00:20:11.519
And uh he's probably just happy that I'm busy doing something.

00:20:12.000 --> 00:20:12.559
You know what?

00:20:12.720 --> 00:20:14.880
Hey, I don't know how it was.

00:20:15.039 --> 00:20:26.960
Well, I know how it was back when I was in the military, but it seems like military spouses today live healthier lives because they're involved in things that are actually progressive.

00:20:27.119 --> 00:20:42.240
Whereas like when I was in the military, I felt like, you know, prior to us having the social media that we have today and we're able to connect with like-minded people uh before we had this, you were kind of stuck with whoever you were surrounded with, and that was it.

00:20:42.480 --> 00:20:51.279
And a lot of times the influence on some of the bases were not positive, they were pretty negative in a sense of getting into just stupid shit.

00:20:51.440 --> 00:21:01.119
Like um, but today I know a lot of military spouses that are like running businesses are making connections, even you and I making a connection like four four years ago.

00:21:01.200 --> 00:21:02.319
I can't even believe that.

00:21:02.480 --> 00:21:04.480
Um during the pandemic.

00:21:04.640 --> 00:21:06.480
I mean, it's been it's been positive.

00:21:06.640 --> 00:21:14.640
So it's it's good to see that turn with military spouses uh like yourself that are doing positive things and and living healthier lives.

00:21:14.720 --> 00:21:41.039
And also, too, like I don't know outside of you just talking to you and stuff, but it seems like you and Kyle have a really strong because military life, a military family is hard, like but you guys have a really strong relationship, a really comfortable, strong, supportive uh relationship where he's going on TDY deployments and things like that, and you're holding it down, but then you're also getting involved in positive things like this.

00:21:41.200 --> 00:21:45.039
So um it's refreshing to hear that.

00:21:45.119 --> 00:21:51.680
It's refreshing to hear like military spouses are now getting involved in more positive things than when I was in, I think.

00:21:52.000 --> 00:21:58.960
Um with any of the stuff that you've been doing, do you fear anything?

00:21:59.119 --> 00:22:06.799
Do you fear that there might be somebody out there that will be like this girl?

00:22:07.440 --> 00:22:09.119
Let's let's stalk this girl.

00:22:09.440 --> 00:22:09.920
You know what?

00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:13.119
If you asked me that a couple of years ago, I probably would have said yes.

00:22:13.359 --> 00:22:15.200
Um but now no.

00:22:16.160 --> 00:22:18.960
Uh nobody can hurt me unless I allow them to.

00:22:19.599 --> 00:22:21.599
And I'm not gonna allow them to.

00:22:21.759 --> 00:22:26.400
Uh that was actually one of the first things that Mary said to me when I started helping with this case.

00:22:26.480 --> 00:22:28.319
She's like, he might come after you.

00:22:28.559 --> 00:22:31.359
And I was like, I'm not worried about it.

00:22:31.519 --> 00:22:32.559
He can't touch me.

00:22:32.720 --> 00:22:35.119
And if he does, it's just gonna make him look more guilty.

00:22:35.200 --> 00:22:37.039
Because why why is he gonna come after me?

00:22:37.200 --> 00:22:38.160
For what purpose?

00:22:38.480 --> 00:22:38.640
Yeah.

00:22:38.960 --> 00:22:50.000
I think I think about that sometimes when people cover like cold cases or true crime cases that are unresolved and they get a lot of information.

00:22:50.400 --> 00:23:03.519
Um in today's world, I can tell you as a person who has been stalked before, that it is scary when you find out that somebody was watching you and somebody was aware of where you were at different times.

00:23:03.759 --> 00:23:07.039
I've had to get restraining orders before, uh, just once.

00:23:07.359 --> 00:23:10.000
Restraining orders, just restraining order.

00:23:10.480 --> 00:23:14.559
I don't want to be clear about that, but I mean Yeah, just one.

00:23:14.640 --> 00:23:38.480
And it was when I was finishing up my college and had just gotten commissioned into the army, uh, and it was a it was another um fellow National Guardsman that had some mental issues and had had gotten several of our names off of an alpha roster that was sitting in front of an orderly room and just one day went cable guy on everybody.

00:23:38.720 --> 00:23:41.839
Just started calling or just started calling people.

00:23:42.799 --> 00:24:02.799
And at first Yeah, at first we thought that it was just oh, this guy's you know, reaching out for friendship or and that quickly turned into like Jim Carrey cable guy, like you're my best friend, and borderline like fatal attraction.

00:24:02.960 --> 00:24:05.759
It was weird, man, like and it was embarrassing at the same time.

00:24:05.839 --> 00:24:11.599
And you know, I had just gotten commissioned into the army and I had to tell the professor of military science what happened.

00:24:11.680 --> 00:24:21.759
I had to file like a because like it went as far as like I got my car vandalized, I got followed, had to like drive to a police station the whole nine yards.

00:24:21.839 --> 00:24:35.279
So that experience has caused me to be a little more guarded, and uh since going into law enforcement stuff, um it's I I'm also protective in a way, but I'm not worried anymore.

00:24:35.519 --> 00:24:40.720
But um, I always wondered if true crime people ever thought about that.

00:24:41.200 --> 00:24:46.319
I mean it's understandable, especially because it's already happened to you that you're a little more about it.

00:24:46.960 --> 00:24:51.440
But I just uh I just stay positive.

00:24:51.519 --> 00:24:55.920
I say in my mind, like I you you've talked to Robin.

00:24:56.000 --> 00:24:59.839
I don't know how in depth you've talked to Robin, but Robin talks about you create your own reality.

00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.839
So if I'm creating my own reality, I'm not creating any scipos in my reality.

00:25:04.720 --> 00:25:08.559
That you know, I wanted to ask you about that because I know what Robin does.

00:25:08.880 --> 00:25:09.200
Yeah.

00:25:09.759 --> 00:25:10.799
Robin's amazing.

00:25:11.039 --> 00:25:13.039
So what she is very amazing.

00:25:13.119 --> 00:25:15.599
Like it I think it's really interesting what she does.

00:25:15.839 --> 00:25:21.680
Uh have you uh counseled with her about this?

00:25:22.559 --> 00:25:26.000
Um, not about this in particular, but I've worked with Robin.

00:25:26.079 --> 00:25:30.079
Robin actually has be has become probably one of my dearest friends.

00:25:30.319 --> 00:25:41.119
Uh I talk to her pretty regularly, and she runs, she calls it a VIP group, and I was a part of it for a while, and it actually was exactly what I needed at the time.

00:25:41.359 --> 00:25:43.119
Um very empowering.

00:25:43.599 --> 00:25:52.079
Uh I don't wanna I know you're gonna talk to her, so I don't want to take away from everything she does, but it's just if you're familiar with like Dr.

00:25:52.160 --> 00:25:52.960
Dispenza, Dr.

00:25:53.119 --> 00:26:04.640
Joe Dispenza, or like Naval Goddard, or even Bashar or all these names might be completely going over your head, but it's all some people think of it's woo-woo.

00:26:05.839 --> 00:26:12.319
There is definitely a balance between like science and woo-woo, but it just essentially you're just taking control of your own life.

00:26:12.400 --> 00:26:14.480
It's just different ways to phrase it.

00:26:14.799 --> 00:26:19.279
And like I said, I'm not if somebody's not meant to be in my life, they're they're gone.

00:26:19.519 --> 00:26:21.599
I'd boundaries.

00:26:21.759 --> 00:26:23.599
I mean, I used to let people walk all over me.

00:26:23.680 --> 00:26:24.960
I was the biggest people pleaser.

00:26:25.039 --> 00:26:28.079
I would do anything for anyone, and I still will if you're my people.

00:26:28.319 --> 00:26:29.920
But if you're not my people, you can go.

00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:31.839
Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

00:26:32.400 --> 00:26:32.960
Yeah.

00:26:33.279 --> 00:26:35.839
So uh how would you describe what Robin does?

00:26:36.160 --> 00:26:38.799
Ooh, that's kind of hard because she does a lot of amazing things.

00:26:38.960 --> 00:26:44.480
Um, I guess probably some people would call her a life coach, but I think it's it's so much more than that.

00:26:44.559 --> 00:26:47.920
I feel like life coach is not a yeah, she's a spiritual coach.

00:26:48.000 --> 00:26:50.640
She teaches you how to get out of victim mentality.

00:26:50.720 --> 00:26:56.319
Are you you know I think a lot of us get stuck in like everything's happening to me.

00:26:56.480 --> 00:27:00.720
And she essentially gets you out of everything's happening to me and everything's happening for me.

00:27:00.880 --> 00:27:03.039
So that's a very big switch of mindset.

00:27:04.240 --> 00:27:05.519
No, she is fascinating.

00:27:05.599 --> 00:27:08.160
I remember she used to do the tarot card reading.

00:27:08.400 --> 00:27:12.319
That was wildly successful on TikTok.

00:27:12.559 --> 00:27:15.279
And tarot is a very small portion of what she does.

00:27:15.359 --> 00:27:18.000
Like what she really does is amazing.

00:27:18.319 --> 00:27:22.240
Yeah, I've been I've been meaning to get her on the on the podcast at some point.

00:27:22.400 --> 00:27:26.000
It just haven't been able to connect yet and make that make that date and time.

00:27:26.160 --> 00:27:30.480
But um Yeah, I've actually interviewed her three times.

00:27:30.640 --> 00:27:40.640
Um we have another one that's gonna come out, which is gonna be a really nice and I think important one is like she's talking about what it's like to be the person with the illness.

00:27:40.720 --> 00:27:42.799
Because as you know, she has she has cancer.

00:27:42.960 --> 00:27:43.279
Yes.

00:27:43.440 --> 00:27:49.039
And then I'm talking about what it's like being the family member of somebody with an illness.

00:27:49.519 --> 00:27:49.839
Yeah.

00:27:51.200 --> 00:27:53.920
I also want to give a shout out too, because Robin was a Marine.

00:27:54.160 --> 00:27:54.720
Is a Marine.

00:27:55.039 --> 00:27:55.920
Robin was a Marine.

00:27:56.000 --> 00:27:57.359
Yeah, yeah, always a Marine.

00:27:57.440 --> 00:27:57.839
Yeah.

00:27:58.240 --> 00:28:04.400
She doesn't she doesn't say much about it, and I've told her before, like, you need to like let people know that you're a Marine.

00:28:05.680 --> 00:28:07.440
Yeah, she and she's a badass.

00:28:07.680 --> 00:28:08.799
Like, she really is.

00:28:09.359 --> 00:28:10.480
But yeah.

00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:20.720
So what do you think the next uh next steps for the overall like true crime or or what's like what do you think your next pivot's gonna be?

00:28:20.799 --> 00:28:34.799
Are you gonna stick with the how to deal with the shit gets real podcasts, or do you think truth vibes is gonna take over, or are you gonna stick to this case until you come to some resolution, like or it gets settled?

00:28:35.359 --> 00:28:40.240
I'm definitely not gonna stop with Heather until we get some sort of resolution.

00:28:40.400 --> 00:28:44.880
Um I'm a firm believer in that, like I got this this happened for a reason, you know.

00:28:44.960 --> 00:28:51.839
Like I interviewed him for a reason, I found out about this case for a reason, like it came to me for a reason, whatever that might be.

00:28:51.920 --> 00:28:57.359
I'm not sure yet, but clearly it was meant to be.

00:28:57.680 --> 00:29:04.079
So I'm gonna work Heather's case until it gets resolved, whether it's the answer we want or not.

00:29:04.480 --> 00:29:06.640
Um, I d I do love true crime.

00:29:06.720 --> 00:29:10.079
I still will probably always I mean it's always gonna be how to deal when the shit gets real.

00:29:10.160 --> 00:29:11.359
That can still be true crime, right?

00:29:11.440 --> 00:29:15.440
It could still be me talking to people and doing true true crime.

00:29:15.599 --> 00:29:19.519
Um I mean, look at look at like Bunny XO.

00:29:19.599 --> 00:29:22.000
She talks about all sorts of things.

00:29:22.319 --> 00:29:26.079
So I think that's what's beautiful about this new generation that's coming up.

00:29:26.240 --> 00:29:28.640
You know, we were always told you have to niche, you have to niche.

00:29:28.799 --> 00:29:30.160
You can only do one thing.

00:29:30.400 --> 00:29:34.559
But it's really coming out now that like you can you can do whatever you want.

00:29:34.880 --> 00:29:37.680
And if I'm pulled to do two crime one week, I'll do it.

00:29:37.759 --> 00:29:40.319
If I'm pulled to do something else another week, I'll do it.

00:29:40.559 --> 00:29:40.880
Yeah.

00:29:41.039 --> 00:29:42.240
Plus it keeps it interesting.

00:29:42.480 --> 00:29:47.839
Yeah, as long as you have that bandwidth and willingness to do it for sure, and it it's pat it's a passion for you.

00:29:48.160 --> 00:29:59.839
Um I I also am a believer of like the woo woo and science and all this stuff because one thing that I've learned over the years, especially with social media, politics, all this other stuff.

00:30:00.720 --> 00:30:03.359
The answer is always somewhere in the middle.

00:30:03.599 --> 00:30:06.240
It's never Democrat or Republican.

00:30:06.400 --> 00:30:08.559
It's never science or woo-woo.

00:30:08.880 --> 00:30:13.200
It's like when you say woo-woo, we're talking about the the the I guess the sort of paranormal, right?

00:30:13.279 --> 00:30:15.039
Or like the spiritual side of things.

00:30:15.519 --> 00:30:16.880
Spiritual, yeah.

00:30:17.039 --> 00:30:18.799
I mean, you could even call it paranormal.

00:30:18.880 --> 00:30:23.680
Like I brought up Bashar, which a lot of people are probably like, um, Bashar is a channeler.

00:30:23.759 --> 00:30:31.440
Um, if you don't know who he is, um, and he is said to be channeling um an entity, you know, like a I don't want to say alien.

00:30:31.519 --> 00:30:34.960
I don't know exactly what he calls it, but it's an entity not in this world.

00:30:35.119 --> 00:30:38.960
So a lot of people automatically are like, this guy's a he's a quack.

00:30:39.039 --> 00:30:44.559
But if you listen to what he's actually delivering, whether you believe in his channeling or not, the message is still powerful.

00:30:44.960 --> 00:30:45.200
Yeah.

00:30:45.440 --> 00:30:47.119
And that's somebody on TikTok.

00:30:47.839 --> 00:30:48.960
He's all over the place.

00:30:49.119 --> 00:30:50.400
I'm surprised you haven't seen him.

00:30:50.480 --> 00:30:54.079
He's really big, but yeah, he's on TikTok, he's on Instagram, he has his own page.

00:30:54.240 --> 00:30:56.079
People go and see him in person.

00:30:56.720 --> 00:30:58.400
He's he's really big.

00:30:59.200 --> 00:31:03.039
He talks about synchronicities, which sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off.

00:31:03.359 --> 00:31:05.920
He talks about synchronicities, which is how I feel about Heather.

00:31:06.000 --> 00:31:09.359
A synchronicity is like he calls them red light and green light synchronicities.

00:31:09.440 --> 00:31:11.440
So green light means like you're on the right path.

00:31:11.599 --> 00:31:14.000
And a red light is like maybe something stops you.

00:31:14.160 --> 00:31:18.160
And it's not necessarily saying that you're not meant to do it, it just means you're not meant to do it right now.

00:31:18.319 --> 00:31:19.759
You can come back to it later.

00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:34.240
So when I got Heather's case, that was a synchronicity for me because it just aligned that it came from somebody that was coming from my podcast that I had no intent of talking to, and it turned into this true crime case, and clearly I was meant to work on it.

00:31:34.319 --> 00:31:36.000
So that's why I followed it.

00:31:36.880 --> 00:31:39.519
I truly believe things happen for a reason.

00:31:39.839 --> 00:31:41.119
Truly believe that.

00:31:41.279 --> 00:31:47.599
Especially if you're the type of person who is progressive and really willing to get things done.

00:31:47.920 --> 00:31:53.440
And I I truly believe, because I was told this once, and actually I think Robin told me this too.

00:31:53.599 --> 00:32:07.039
She said Robin told me that that I have a little bit of um, I don't want to say psychic, but I personally have a little bit of spirituality.

00:32:07.200 --> 00:32:19.759
And we had that conversation, and she talked about that sometimes when you're a child and you experience uh a lot of trauma, that your mind and your brain develops like this almost like sixth sense.

00:32:20.240 --> 00:32:27.119
So when you meet someone, you can almost tell who they are within the first minute of meeting them.

00:32:27.200 --> 00:32:29.039
Like you can see their soul almost.

00:32:29.599 --> 00:32:40.720
And the reason why your mind does that is because your mind develops this protective part where when you're a child, you don't know what's gonna happen when that door opens.

00:32:40.799 --> 00:32:44.640
You don't know if it you're gonna get smacked or if you're gonna witness something.

00:32:44.960 --> 00:32:48.720
So your mind to protect itself develops almost like a third eye.

00:32:50.240 --> 00:32:53.759
And Robin had mentioned that that I had that.

00:32:53.920 --> 00:32:55.759
And and I do feel that sometimes.

00:32:55.920 --> 00:32:59.200
Like I do feel like I can sense things from people.

00:32:59.759 --> 00:33:03.920
Something's wrong, and I'll I'll ask them, be like, is everything okay?

00:33:04.079 --> 00:33:05.759
And they're like, Yeah, why'd you ask?

00:33:06.160 --> 00:33:10.880
And they're putting up this mask, and I can tell it's there, and I'm like, because I can sense something's wrong.

00:33:10.960 --> 00:33:13.119
Like I need you like, is everything okay?

00:33:13.519 --> 00:33:18.000
And then later on they'll they'll pull me aside and be like, Yeah, actually things aren't okay.

00:33:18.160 --> 00:33:21.200
And it's weird that you asked me that question right now at this time.

00:33:21.519 --> 00:33:29.200
And I was like, something about you is telling me that like you just have this aura surrounding you that's like not right.

00:33:29.359 --> 00:33:32.720
And and I've heard that before prior to Rob and me saying that.

00:33:32.880 --> 00:33:34.559
Um, but it makes sense.

00:33:34.640 --> 00:33:37.119
Have you heard anything about about that before?

00:33:37.759 --> 00:33:38.559
About childhood.

00:33:38.960 --> 00:33:40.960
I mean we Yes, absolutely.

00:33:41.119 --> 00:33:44.559
Robin has talked about that, and we're all intuitive.

00:33:44.720 --> 00:33:47.039
We all have intuitive type abilities.

00:33:47.119 --> 00:33:49.200
It's just we forgot how to use them.

00:33:49.440 --> 00:33:58.400
We we get so caught up in just you know the day-to-day and the daily that we forget to trust ourselves, essentially.

00:33:58.559 --> 00:34:00.640
Your intuition is really trusting yourself, right?

00:34:00.799 --> 00:34:05.200
And how many times a day do you hear that little voice and you're just like quiet.

00:34:05.519 --> 00:34:05.759
Yeah.

00:34:05.920 --> 00:34:11.360
But most of the time that little voice is what you should be listening to and not all the yammer out here.

00:34:12.079 --> 00:34:12.719
Yeah.

00:34:13.119 --> 00:34:19.280
So Gavin DeBecker writes a really good book called The Gift of Fear, and he talks about intuition.

00:34:19.519 --> 00:34:20.880
And that's the word I was looking for.

00:34:21.039 --> 00:34:21.440
Intuition.

00:34:21.519 --> 00:34:24.480
You you can you I had a feeling it was a stronger intuition.

00:34:24.639 --> 00:34:26.960
I was describing like third eye and all this weird shit.

00:34:27.039 --> 00:34:49.840
But like uh, I was actually talking about intuition, and he writes a really good book where he talks about intuition and how it's been developed over the years, from the time we were like cavemen and cavewomen, you know, avoiding the the giant predators out there, the totality of the circumstance is sort of pulled together in your mind, and then it's telling you, run.

00:34:50.880 --> 00:35:01.679
But in today's society, we're too afraid to be stereotypical, discriminative, or any of that stuff that like we we tell our intuition, like, shut up, like I'm okay.

00:35:01.840 --> 00:35:10.960
Like you're walking down a dark alley and you just feel like something's not right, and then your subconscious is telling your intuition to shut up, basically.

00:35:12.239 --> 00:35:15.039
And so a lot of a lot of it is that's what it is.

00:35:15.440 --> 00:35:26.159
Yeah, it's that it's also we have stressed ourselves out so much, and we're doing so much that we are constantly in a state of fight or flight, which we're not meant to be in.

00:35:26.239 --> 00:35:44.239
We're not meant to constantly be in fight or flight, and that's why so many people now experience burnout, experience whatever else that they might be having, sometimes it comes up as autoimmune diseases because we're just constantly in this state that we're not supposed to be in because we're stressing ourselves out.

00:35:44.320 --> 00:35:47.920
Even animals, animals are a great example, they have fight or flight too, right?

00:35:48.559 --> 00:35:56.079
But if a deer gets chased by a wolf one or whatever it gets chased by and it runs away and then it's gone, it goes right back to eating.

00:35:56.159 --> 00:35:58.079
It forgets it's done with that.

00:35:58.159 --> 00:35:59.679
It that's a memory, it's done with it.

00:35:59.760 --> 00:36:07.119
We're like we stay in that for sometimes years, and then we wonder why we're so sick all the time.

00:36:07.519 --> 00:36:08.960
It's it's kind of crazy.

00:36:09.199 --> 00:36:12.880
We just need to get back in touch with ourselves.

00:36:13.360 --> 00:36:22.639
You're a thousand percent right about that, because when I was 23, I developed uh an autoimmune disorder with my um intestine.

00:36:22.719 --> 00:36:27.280
So I I ended up getting ulcer of colitis at 23.

00:36:28.639 --> 00:36:31.679
And I would go to the doctors and they would give me medicine.

00:36:31.760 --> 00:36:39.119
And I would I would go back to the doctors and say, well, this medicine gave me dry mouth, this medicine made me do this, and then they would take it back and then they would give me another one.

00:36:39.360 --> 00:36:43.280
And then I would go back and give them the feedback, and then they would take it back and give me another one.

00:36:43.440 --> 00:36:46.880
And I noticed a trend, and I was like, I'm a lab rat for these guys.

00:36:47.039 --> 00:37:00.719
Like, they don't know how to fix what I have, which a lot of the intestinal autoimmune diseases from diverticulitis to ulceropcolitis to Crohn's, they no one can really explain why it happens.

00:37:00.800 --> 00:37:12.480
But the one thing that I've learned is that, as a matter of fact, prior to me deploying, I was really concerned because I was not well all the time.

00:37:12.639 --> 00:37:24.239
I would have these flare-ups at random times, and um the army back then in 2004, they gave me a big box of like medicine and just gave it to me and said, Good luck, good luck, kid.

00:37:24.400 --> 00:37:29.199
You go down range, if you have any issues, just go uh go to the nearest sick call.

00:37:29.440 --> 00:37:34.159
Fortunately, when I was there, I didn't have really any any major issues.

00:37:34.320 --> 00:37:35.360
I was able to control it.

00:37:35.519 --> 00:37:46.320
But what I did learn is what you what you're talking about right now, and I have a buddy right now that has diverticulitis and is having terrible terrible flare-ups uh to the point where he can't work.

00:37:46.480 --> 00:37:52.239
Um the one thing I did learn was that stress is the underlying cause.

00:37:52.400 --> 00:38:04.960
If you have, I was talking to my niece about this, if you have issues inside of you, tr trauma that you're internalizing, your body and your mind has a way of slowing you down.

00:38:05.199 --> 00:38:22.079
And I think that's why you either hair falls out, rashes, um, or you end up just having some autoimmune disorder, something will happen to you and your body will like try to wake you up and say, look, you need to figure this out.

00:38:22.480 --> 00:38:22.800
Yeah.

00:38:22.960 --> 00:38:25.679
And by that time, it's been happening for so long.

00:38:25.840 --> 00:38:30.320
Your body, like that's like your body's last stitch effort to get your attention.

00:38:30.480 --> 00:38:35.519
Um, I've actually had several functional medicine guests on my podcast.

00:38:35.760 --> 00:38:53.599
And if you haven't looked into functional medicine, um, I do recommend it at least like looking into it just for an understanding because instead of doing what you're talking about where they just give you a medicine, essentially slapping a band-aid on it, functional medicine actually tries to understand the root cause of what made you sick from the beginning.

00:38:53.760 --> 00:38:54.960
And a lot of times it is.

00:38:55.039 --> 00:39:10.239
It's that childhood trauma that maybe you don't remember or you forgot about or you never got I mean, you you don't really ever get over it, so I don't want to say get over, but that you never I don't even know what the proper word would would be, but you get what I'm saying.

00:39:10.320 --> 00:39:14.400
Like that you never just address You try to contain it as much as you can.

00:39:15.039 --> 00:39:18.000
It's like a it's in this lockbox or this trunk.

00:39:18.400 --> 00:39:22.000
And the older you get, that those latches get weaker.

00:39:22.320 --> 00:39:24.000
And it will come back to haunt you.

00:39:24.960 --> 00:39:25.679
Exactly.

00:39:25.920 --> 00:39:28.719
And it comes out in all sorts of different ways.

00:39:29.039 --> 00:39:31.360
I had another guest that was amazing.

00:39:31.599 --> 00:39:33.599
I actually highly recommend you interview him.

00:39:33.760 --> 00:39:41.199
If it'd be something you interest he stutters brain waves and what is happening in your brain like while you're having a panic attack, for example.

00:39:41.760 --> 00:39:49.599
And he talked about how he couldn't sleep and come to find out his sleeping issues stemmed all the way back from when he was a baby.

00:39:49.679 --> 00:39:51.760
His mom didn't hold him for the first year.

00:39:52.480 --> 00:39:58.880
Like talk about making a connection that that's not even something you remember, but your body remembered.

00:39:59.119 --> 00:40:01.280
Yeah, and it's yeah.

00:40:01.440 --> 00:40:04.880
There is a lot of things that you may not you may not even realize.

00:40:05.119 --> 00:40:08.719
Um you you connected with Matt Stack at one time, didn't you?

00:40:09.039 --> 00:40:10.719
Yeah, Matt's awesome.

00:40:11.039 --> 00:40:14.320
So he he wrote the book um Something about Chaos.

00:40:14.559 --> 00:40:15.440
Chaos, yes.

00:40:15.519 --> 00:40:19.920
And I was just trying to look it up because I remember it because I it's a really, really great book.

00:40:20.159 --> 00:40:25.840
Um what's what's the what's the name of his uh of his book?

00:40:26.239 --> 00:40:26.960
Living in Chaos.

00:40:27.199 --> 00:40:28.320
It's got a longer name.

00:40:28.480 --> 00:40:28.719
Yeah.

00:40:28.880 --> 00:40:32.480
Let's see if we can see if we can pull up on Amazon real quick.

00:40:32.559 --> 00:40:33.199
Hold on.

00:40:33.440 --> 00:40:34.480
Fan stack.

00:40:35.199 --> 00:40:36.159
I love his name.

00:40:36.320 --> 00:40:38.480
His name is just so epic as it is.

00:40:38.800 --> 00:40:44.639
Killing Chaos, how veterans can win the war they didn't even know they were fighting.

00:40:45.039 --> 00:40:50.000
That that guy talking to him was like talking to a therapist almost.

00:40:50.239 --> 00:40:52.559
Like he touched on so many things, right?

00:40:52.880 --> 00:40:54.320
Yeah, he's a wealth of knowledge.

00:40:54.480 --> 00:40:55.360
Great guy.

00:40:55.599 --> 00:40:57.199
Yeah, killing chaos.

00:40:57.440 --> 00:41:09.840
It was um, and what the one of the one of the things he talked about was if you grow up in chaos and you become an adult, you have the tendency to recreate that chaos, even if it doesn't exist around you.

00:41:10.079 --> 00:41:16.159
So it affects your relationships for the rest of your of the rest of your life if you don't figure out what's going on.

00:41:16.239 --> 00:41:24.559
And a lot of veterans, I you know, I think that that book is a really healthy book because it it will force you to take some accountability of yourself.

00:41:24.960 --> 00:41:25.920
Absolutely.

00:41:26.159 --> 00:41:32.079
And uh, I mean, the old saying, chaos breeds chaos, it's absolutely right.

00:41:32.159 --> 00:41:38.880
And it's one of the reasons like I keep my house neat because if my house is dirty, then my anxiety is out through the roof.

00:41:39.039 --> 00:41:42.400
You know, you gotta find your ways.

00:41:42.800 --> 00:41:46.000
You gotta be self-aware and you gotta be accountable for sure.

00:41:46.239 --> 00:41:48.880
Um just talking talking to Matt.

00:41:48.960 --> 00:41:50.719
And it's it's a short book, by the way.

00:41:50.960 --> 00:42:00.880
And I want to make sure that I remember to put the links for everything that we're talking about during this interview um in the podcast notes.

00:42:01.039 --> 00:42:04.320
But um I thought you were just over there writing shit about me, writing.

00:42:04.719 --> 00:42:08.320
I was just drawing, I was just doing a portrait of you, like drawing it's like a stick figure.

00:42:08.559 --> 00:42:16.239
And uh no, I'm I I know I love I I like taking notes and coming coming back to certain topics that that uh talking about.

00:42:16.480 --> 00:42:19.679
Cause I I like forget and I and I move on.

00:42:19.760 --> 00:42:21.280
But uh who did you mention?

00:42:21.360 --> 00:42:23.599
Who who who was it that you said that studies brainwaves?

00:42:23.920 --> 00:42:32.159
Like I said his name, and actually I'll uh I'm I'm just because I've interviewed so many people, I don't always remember.

00:42:32.400 --> 00:42:33.039
Let me say that.

00:42:33.119 --> 00:42:39.360
Well, yeah, I will definitely I'll definitely be interested in that because there's a whole there's a whole because I personally went through it myself.

00:42:40.239 --> 00:42:56.639
Um I think that a lot of veterans need to take more accountability and be more self-aware because I've seen more times than not veterans, especially combat veterans, say, Well, the world just doesn't understand me.

00:42:56.719 --> 00:42:58.880
They don't understand me, they don't understand me.

00:42:59.119 --> 00:43:01.920
But the thing is, is flip it, flip it the other way.

00:43:02.239 --> 00:43:03.280
Do you understand them?

00:43:03.840 --> 00:43:09.360
Like, do you are you meeting them halfway in the middle of the pasture so that you can understand them?

00:43:09.519 --> 00:43:28.800
And I that's what changed my mindset overall when it comes to uh mentally being tolerable to sit at the Thanksgiving table next to other people that have never experienced the stress and anxiety that I've experienced through combat and through like growing up in a broken home.

00:43:29.039 --> 00:43:29.599
Absolutely.

00:43:30.239 --> 00:43:30.719
Yeah.

00:43:31.280 --> 00:43:35.679
Um his name is Jeffrey Cole, just so I don't forget to tell you, but Jeffrey is spelled with a G.

00:43:36.159 --> 00:43:37.599
It's almost like G O E.

00:43:40.159 --> 00:43:42.639
Uh C O L E.

00:43:42.880 --> 00:43:43.760
Yes, C O L E.

00:43:43.920 --> 00:43:44.079
Yep.

00:43:45.280 --> 00:43:46.400
His middle initial is A.

00:43:46.480 --> 00:43:52.559
I think he gives the middle initi because I because I think there is somebody else out there that um has a similar name.

00:43:53.519 --> 00:43:56.239
He also goes by G he goes by just G sometimes.

00:43:56.480 --> 00:43:58.960
Um but I can I'll send you some links for him.

00:43:59.119 --> 00:44:05.119
But that's I mean, I've talked to a lot of people, but that's one of the most I learned so much for him.

00:44:05.280 --> 00:44:13.119
I've gone back and listened to that episode myself a couple times just because he's got so many great little nuggets and is just fascinating.

00:44:13.199 --> 00:44:21.599
I'd love to go down to I think he's in Tampa, he's in Florida for sure, and visit like their facility where they help people.

00:44:22.480 --> 00:44:22.960
Yeah.

00:44:23.280 --> 00:44:35.360
Robin's mentioned Robin and another friend of mine named Yasmin, um, who does Trend Lab, she she's also very much into the um, I don't want to call it alternative alternative medicine.

00:44:35.440 --> 00:44:40.079
It's more natural medicine, or what was the phrase you called it earlier?

00:44:40.320 --> 00:44:42.639
Um, well, you might be thinking of something different.

00:44:42.719 --> 00:44:44.400
Um, functional medicine.

00:44:44.800 --> 00:44:47.920
I don't it I don't know if it would fit in the same thing that you're talking about, but we'll see.

00:44:48.000 --> 00:44:57.039
But yeah, functional medicine is, you know, like there's practitioners that they still look at like your blood work and stuff, but instead of like going, here's this medicine, good luck.

00:44:57.199 --> 00:45:02.239
Um, they try to figure out, okay, this is elevated, why is this elevated?

00:45:02.400 --> 00:45:08.960
And then they'll figure out, oh, it's because when you were 10, your parents got divorced.

00:45:09.119 --> 00:45:09.440
I don't know.

00:45:09.519 --> 00:45:10.880
I'm just throwing out examples.

00:45:11.039 --> 00:45:13.039
Like they literally try to figure out the root cause.

00:45:13.280 --> 00:45:16.079
There is also, you know, homeopathic medicine too.

00:45:16.159 --> 00:45:18.559
So yeah, so it's more event-oriented.

00:45:18.800 --> 00:45:19.119
Yes.

00:45:19.360 --> 00:45:25.760
It's more, let's actually find the root cause of why you're having these symptoms instead of just treating the symptoms.

00:45:26.079 --> 00:45:28.880
Don't get me wrong, Western medicine, our medicine is fantastic.

00:45:28.960 --> 00:45:33.679
It has come a long way, but there are certain scenarios where you can't just fix the symptom.

00:45:33.760 --> 00:45:37.440
You need to find out what the root cause is, and that's really where functional medicine comes in.

00:45:37.760 --> 00:45:48.559
Yeah, the problem with Western medicine is the teeter and the teeter and the totter, I guess, of yes, you get this today, but what happens 20 years down the road?

00:45:48.960 --> 00:45:55.840
And we've seen that over and over again with Western medicine, is the the long-term results are not final.

00:45:56.480 --> 00:45:58.079
Um you'll find out.

00:45:58.320 --> 00:46:03.760
And there's there are certain things that just there are certain things they can't do.

00:46:03.920 --> 00:46:23.679
Um, I haven't talked about this a lot because it's not it's not really my business, but uh my dad was actually diagnosed with vulgar ALS and there was no cure for ALS and it has been very hard to watch him just slowly decline and know that I can't do anything.

00:46:24.000 --> 00:46:25.199
What are the symptoms for that?

00:46:25.440 --> 00:46:34.320
So much like regular ALS, instead of it affecting like your limbs, like Stephen Hawking, you know, we saw Stephen Hawking was in a wheelchair, it starts in your throat first.

00:46:34.960 --> 00:46:39.199
Um so he has trouble swallowing, he has trouble eating, he has trouble speaking.

00:46:39.519 --> 00:46:43.440
Uh it's all the muscles that are in like your throat, your mouth, your face.

00:46:44.719 --> 00:46:46.000
So that's where it starts.

00:46:46.559 --> 00:46:48.400
It'll go into his lungs eventually.

00:46:49.039 --> 00:46:50.159
How many years has it been?

00:46:50.400 --> 00:46:52.400
It's hard because it's really hard to diagnose.

00:46:52.559 --> 00:46:53.920
Like, you know, some things are.

00:46:54.079 --> 00:46:55.119
It's hard to diagnose.

00:46:55.199 --> 00:46:57.920
I think uh lupus is another one that's hard to diagnose.

00:46:58.079 --> 00:47:01.920
So it took a good year to even get a proper diagnosis for him.

00:47:02.559 --> 00:47:06.800
And we're probably coming up on another year here pretty soon.

00:47:06.880 --> 00:47:08.480
So it's been about a couple years.

00:47:08.800 --> 00:47:13.360
And typical ALS, it's usually four to five years.

00:47:13.760 --> 00:47:17.519
Sulver is a little less, so Lord only knows.

00:47:17.679 --> 00:47:20.719
We just keep praying and staying positive.

00:47:21.039 --> 00:47:22.000
I'm sorry to hear that.

00:47:22.079 --> 00:47:25.280
That sounds really, really tough, really difficult on your family.

00:47:25.360 --> 00:47:28.960
And that that's the family that lives in the Chicagoland area.

00:47:29.360 --> 00:47:30.320
They actually moved here.

00:47:30.400 --> 00:47:31.599
That's part of the reason they move here.

00:47:31.679 --> 00:47:34.239
So my mom and dad actually literally live right behind us now.

00:47:34.400 --> 00:47:36.559
I could throw a rock and hit their house.

00:47:36.800 --> 00:47:40.079
So it is nice that they're here now and that we can help.

00:47:40.320 --> 00:47:43.920
But there's only so much we can do, and it's I'm totally a daddy's girl.

00:47:44.000 --> 00:47:47.199
I've always been a daddy's girl, so it's very hard to watch him.

00:47:47.440 --> 00:47:48.559
There's worse every day.

00:47:48.800 --> 00:47:50.239
They're so blessed to have you as a daughter.

00:47:50.400 --> 00:47:53.199
I mean, you're such a good daughter to have move 'em in your own backyard.

00:47:53.440 --> 00:48:00.400
Hell, like most people don't want their parents in their backyard, but you are just such a true, authentic, honest, you know.

00:48:00.800 --> 00:48:01.840
I mean, don't get me wrong.

00:48:02.000 --> 00:48:05.519
Uh, we do have, yeah, I'm assuming this thing everybody loves Raymond.

00:48:05.679 --> 00:48:07.039
Uh everybody loves Raymond.

00:48:07.119 --> 00:48:10.800
We definitely have that situation where my mom just comes over and I'm like, why didn't you call first?

00:48:11.519 --> 00:48:13.519
I love them to pieces, but I'm like.

00:48:13.760 --> 00:48:14.400
Yeah.

00:48:15.840 --> 00:48:22.800
Everybody has their everybody has their qualms and their issues with their family, but you know, what's what's bigger than that is love.

00:48:23.599 --> 00:48:24.239
Absolutely.

00:48:24.559 --> 00:48:24.960
And time.

00:48:25.119 --> 00:48:27.039
You can't ha you can't buy back time.

00:48:27.599 --> 00:48:31.119
And that's probably one of the hardest things about this, about this diagnosis.

00:48:31.199 --> 00:48:33.519
It's liter we're literally just watching the clock tick.

00:48:33.679 --> 00:48:35.119
And there's absolutely nothing.

00:48:35.199 --> 00:48:36.559
We can there's no cure for ELF.

00:48:36.719 --> 00:48:40.159
So we're just it's like a terrible waiting game.

00:48:40.800 --> 00:48:41.360
Well.

00:48:48.000 --> 00:48:49.760
That sounds really, really tough.

00:48:50.000 --> 00:48:51.440
Um It is.

00:48:51.840 --> 00:48:52.320
It is.

00:48:52.400 --> 00:48:56.400
And that's uh I had another guest that talked about that about compound grief.

00:48:56.639 --> 00:49:11.519
And it is a thing, you know, it's not just grief when somebody passes away, it's everything leading up to it, you know, watching them get sick, watching them get worse, and that's what Robin and I talked about on the podcast, and now what it was like for her and what it's been like for her kids.

00:49:14.159 --> 00:49:26.880
Well, we live in a very sick society in a sense of we think we're healthy, but we're taking the blood pressure pills, we're taking the things to patch it up.

00:49:27.199 --> 00:49:41.679
Um and it's like even with the cancer stuff, man, like it's you know, you you just recently, I think it was what was it, Tylenol was tied to the president mentioned that Tylenol is tied to autism.

00:49:41.840 --> 00:49:46.639
And a lot of the media out there was like, oh, you know, it that's crazy, that's insane, that's absurd.

00:49:46.800 --> 00:49:47.280
But is it?

00:49:47.519 --> 00:49:48.639
I mean, you never know.

00:49:48.880 --> 00:49:49.599
You never know.

00:49:49.840 --> 00:49:51.360
I'm not I'm not one to lean one.

00:49:51.840 --> 00:49:54.960
The thing I remember about Tylenol, and it actually didn't, I was I alive?

00:49:55.039 --> 00:49:56.159
No, I don't think I was alive.

00:49:56.320 --> 00:50:10.400
Um there was there was literally a Tylenol murderer in the Chicagoland area that was this was before Tylenol had, you know, the safety caps, and they were putting arsenic, I think it was arsenic, wasn't it, into the Tylenol capsules and just killing random people.

00:50:10.639 --> 00:50:11.119
Yeah.

00:50:11.360 --> 00:50:16.000
Yeah, and then they put that seal on it to make sure that there's that's it couldn't be tampered with.

00:50:16.239 --> 00:50:20.320
Yeah, that's where the that's where the seal came in, which a lot of people don't even know that.

00:50:20.559 --> 00:50:30.719
I mean, if you go into like medicine history overall and you look at like even coke, like cocaine, like how it was just in soda, it was in, you know, coke.

00:50:31.039 --> 00:50:41.280
And uh things like that, and and some of the like Native Americans, you know, they utilized uh what would be considered drugs today to help cure.

00:50:41.519 --> 00:51:00.800
But I think what what what a lot of that does, a lot of the drugs like marijuana and things like that, to some extent, like that stuff helps relieve your stress a little bit, you know, and so there is some medicinal use with that stuff, but a lot of it got banned, and then this other stuff came in that was synthetically made.

00:51:01.119 --> 00:51:04.079
So that's a whole nother conversation in itself, man.

00:51:04.159 --> 00:51:07.360
And I I love talking about that kind of stuff because it's it's interesting.

00:51:07.519 --> 00:51:14.320
Like people people today like to be told how things are and the way it is, versus actually putting thought into it.

00:51:14.480 --> 00:51:18.639
It's kind of like politics where you're like, let's talk about the issues.

00:51:18.880 --> 00:51:20.719
No, like I don't want to talk about the issues.

00:51:20.800 --> 00:51:33.119
I just want to fucking hit you over the head with something because you don't think like me, or you're not you're not on my side of the of the issues, or then want to call you a name or something like that, and that's just how s uh simple we are in 2025.

00:51:33.679 --> 00:51:46.719
Um Yeah, gone are the days where we could have strong discussions of different opinions and just have those discussions and not have somebody end up hurt or dead.

00:51:47.360 --> 00:51:51.679
Like I don't know what happened that we can't What do we teach our children?

00:51:51.840 --> 00:52:01.760
We teach our children that they're supposed to interact with each other and understand one another and understand that we're not all the same, but that doesn't mean we can't get along.

00:52:01.920 --> 00:52:03.119
We can't love.

00:52:03.679 --> 00:52:05.519
And that's kind of what we forgot, right?

00:52:05.599 --> 00:52:07.119
We're not leading with love anymore.

00:52:07.199 --> 00:52:09.119
We're actually leading with hate.

00:52:09.440 --> 00:52:11.199
Yeah, and it's all about emotion.

00:52:11.360 --> 00:52:14.159
It's not about I was talking to someone about that recently.

00:52:14.239 --> 00:52:17.840
I said, I said, um, facts follow feelings.

00:52:18.079 --> 00:52:22.880
Feelings don't follow I mean, it you know, I'm sorry, feelings follow facts.

00:52:23.119 --> 00:52:26.559
Like you should get the facts first, then let your feelings follow that.

00:52:26.719 --> 00:52:44.000
But now they put feelings before facts, and it's more about sensationalism and more about making someone out to be a kook when let's just stop and listen to what they have to say, because the reality is is like we don't know like some of the stuff that's exactly that's been put out there.

00:52:44.239 --> 00:52:53.920
So right, and that's exactly why when I talk about Heather's case, as much as I may not like her husband or disagree with him, it doesn't that doesn't matter.

00:52:54.000 --> 00:52:56.559
And me bashing him is not gonna solve the case.

00:52:56.719 --> 00:53:04.320
All that matters is that I share the facts of the case because that's what's gonna solve it, not my opinion of her husband.

00:53:04.480 --> 00:53:07.840
Do I think he's a narcissistic, crappy person?

00:53:08.000 --> 00:53:08.880
Yeah, I do.

00:53:09.039 --> 00:53:10.079
But that doesn't matter.

00:53:10.480 --> 00:53:11.039
It doesn't matter.

00:53:11.280 --> 00:53:11.840
It's about facts.

00:53:12.079 --> 00:53:13.599
My opinion does not matter, right?

00:53:13.760 --> 00:53:14.000
Right.

00:53:14.159 --> 00:53:15.039
It's about facts.

00:53:15.360 --> 00:53:21.280
And there's a lot of things out there today in in today's world that people people like to just draw conclusions early on.

00:53:21.440 --> 00:53:35.760
They like to come up with you're actually fact-finding and digging and doing research, but there's a lot of things out there that's going on in the world, and the one thing I explain to people is you don't have to like it, you just have to understand it.

00:53:36.320 --> 00:53:38.239
That's two two different things.

00:53:39.199 --> 00:53:44.000
I just want to mention like Charlie Kirk, for example, and how he was assassinated recently.

00:53:44.239 --> 00:53:45.920
You don't have to like it.

00:53:46.159 --> 00:53:47.519
You just have to understand it.

00:53:47.679 --> 00:53:58.239
You have to understand that his platform, he was allowed to be there, he was allowed to set up shop, he was allowed to have a conversation, and you on the other side, you're allowed to do the same thing too.

00:53:58.400 --> 00:54:09.119
And if you're not someone who agrees with him necessarily, that doesn't mean that you have the right to kill someone or take someone out or maim or injure them.

00:54:09.280 --> 00:54:12.159
And I it sucks that in 2025 that's where we're at.

00:54:12.559 --> 00:54:13.440
It does suck.

00:54:13.599 --> 00:54:21.440
And uh, exactly what you said, regardless if you agree with him or not, he has the right to your opinion, just like I do, just like you do.

00:54:21.760 --> 00:54:28.159
And uh he was a person, he was a father, he was uh a husband.

00:54:28.320 --> 00:54:36.079
I mean he wasn't someone that was uh, you know, trying to be violent to get you to believe in what he believes in.

00:54:36.239 --> 00:54:38.400
It was a simple conversation, a man with a microphone.

00:54:39.039 --> 00:54:42.719
And just like on social media, if you don't like it, just scroll on by.

00:54:43.039 --> 00:54:45.440
Yeah, you don't have to like it, you just have to understand it.

00:54:45.599 --> 00:54:48.639
It's a it's an opinion, and you're allowed to put it out there.

00:54:48.800 --> 00:55:07.119
And as long as you go to a campus and you get the permits to set up shop and you're allowed to be there, then what's the and I remember when I was in college, um, there was a lot of activism that would set up in the quad and they would put up huge pictures of like dead babies and stuff because they were anti-abortion.

00:55:07.440 --> 00:55:14.000
As a college student, I didn't like it, but I understood that that's allowed to happen.

00:55:14.239 --> 00:55:17.519
Um I think a lot of people have just forgotten about that.

00:55:17.599 --> 00:55:21.840
And we've been all over the place today with our conversation, but it's been interesting to me, anyways.

00:55:22.000 --> 00:55:30.960
And I want to ask you, out of everything that you've done so far, open-ended question, what's the weirdest thing that you've encountered so far?

00:55:31.440 --> 00:55:35.119
Like, what's the first thing that comes to mind when I ask you that question?

00:55:35.440 --> 00:55:39.760
The weirdest thing that I've encountered, like just in my just anything that's just been weird?

00:55:40.079 --> 00:55:48.320
Anything in general, like what's it could be paranormal, it could be uh something when you were looking at this case that something came up.

00:55:48.480 --> 00:55:53.199
Um, like what's the most weirdest thing that that you've had in overall?

00:55:53.599 --> 00:55:54.639
Weirdest thing that's happening.

00:55:54.960 --> 00:55:57.599
That's it, that's like if you had to tell if you had to tell one story.

00:55:57.840 --> 00:55:58.960
Oh my goodness.

00:55:59.119 --> 00:56:00.960
That is a big question, KP.

00:56:01.760 --> 00:56:07.440
I mean, I can tell you right now, like if I if I if I because I'm not a believer in in paranormal.

00:56:07.599 --> 00:56:10.000
Like I told you about being stalked and stuff, and that was weird.

00:56:10.159 --> 00:56:12.320
I have a lot of weird stuff, but I'll I'll say this.

00:56:12.400 --> 00:56:18.079
Like when it comes to paranormal, like I don't believe in ghosts, I don't believe in spirits, all that's at least I didn't.

00:56:18.159 --> 00:56:19.280
I kind of do now.

00:56:19.519 --> 00:56:34.800
Um there was a I I had a I had a situation where me, my stepsisters were all like in my parents' kitchen and we were hanging out, and it's probably one of the rare times we're in the same room together, just talking at the kitchen table.

00:56:35.599 --> 00:56:49.440
My my stepmother's mom, I guess my step-grandmother, who I knew pretty well, and she's a sweet little woman, um, had passed away a few years prior, and it was Christmas time, and we were all hanging out in the kitchen.

00:56:50.159 --> 00:56:51.840
And this happened to me.

00:56:52.239 --> 00:56:54.559
Um I was sitting there and we were talking.

00:56:55.280 --> 00:57:02.159
Next thing I know, like out of nowhere, this like cloud of smelled like women's perfume.

00:57:02.320 --> 00:57:06.239
And it was like the Avon type, and it was the type that she wore.

00:57:06.559 --> 00:57:08.719
Because I remember she always smelled like this.

00:57:09.199 --> 00:57:10.719
It like surrounded me.

00:57:11.199 --> 00:57:14.320
And I I looked around and I said, I said, what the hell is that smell?

00:57:14.480 --> 00:57:15.360
Like, what is that smell?

00:57:15.519 --> 00:57:16.719
Did you guys spray something on me?

00:57:16.800 --> 00:57:18.960
And I was like looking around, nobody was sitting around me.

00:57:19.360 --> 00:57:25.360
Next thing you know, like it moved all around the room and it surrounded everyone at some point.

00:57:26.159 --> 00:57:27.760
And it was like a hug.

00:57:29.119 --> 00:57:30.639
And that's so sweet.

00:57:30.960 --> 00:57:34.400
Then all of a sudden, like, and everybody looked at each other like, what is that?

00:57:34.559 --> 00:57:37.039
My parents weren't even in the living room next door.

00:57:37.199 --> 00:57:39.360
They were like way back in the bedroom somewhere.

00:57:39.519 --> 00:57:41.440
And I thought I was being pranked.

00:57:41.840 --> 00:57:49.599
And the only thing I can describe was that the situation where we were all in the same room together, it was Christmas time.

00:57:50.000 --> 00:57:53.840
Um, because we all I live far away from them, so I'm I'm rarely home.

00:57:54.000 --> 00:57:59.599
But yeah, I mean that that kind of makes me believe that there is something after this.

00:57:59.920 --> 00:58:01.039
No, I agree with you.

00:58:01.199 --> 00:58:12.000
And something that popped in my mind while you were talking about that, so we'll just go down this road, is um I've always I've been trying to work on no, I work on to try to better myself every day.

00:58:12.960 --> 00:58:16.800
And that includes trying to connect with what I think is like my higher self.

00:58:16.960 --> 00:58:21.280
Some people believe it as your spirit guides, your ancestor guides, God, whatever you call it.

00:58:22.719 --> 00:58:25.920
And I was actually working on Heather's case.

00:58:26.639 --> 00:58:28.320
I'd asked her for a sign.

00:58:28.559 --> 00:58:32.320
And literally the moment that I did, my left ear started ringing.

00:58:32.800 --> 00:58:38.079
You know, kind of like when if somebody had shot a gun and you'd got tinnitus, like it literally was in my left ear.

00:58:38.400 --> 00:58:42.320
And she got shot like right by her left ear.

00:58:42.559 --> 00:58:44.000
So it was really trippy.

00:58:44.159 --> 00:58:46.639
I was like, Thank you.

00:58:47.199 --> 00:58:48.480
Thank you for the sign.

00:58:48.800 --> 00:58:56.159
Yeah, it's funny how like even my my uh mother-in-law just passed away recently, just a couple weeks ago.

00:58:56.239 --> 00:58:57.840
And uh sorry to hear that.

00:58:58.079 --> 00:58:58.719
Yeah, yeah.

00:58:58.880 --> 00:59:03.280
She she was uh she was up there in age, but still very sweet woman.

00:59:03.519 --> 00:59:17.679
Um when she passed, I think she was ready to go, but um some family members have had like experiences where they've they've they feel like she's reached out to them in in some way.

00:59:18.159 --> 00:59:26.960
And sometimes you think it's kind of mumbo jumbo, like you're just looking for something, but then there's other times where it's kind of like there's really no explanation for it.

00:59:27.280 --> 00:59:27.840
Yeah.

00:59:28.400 --> 00:59:28.639
Yeah.

00:59:28.719 --> 00:59:38.159
When our grandpa passed away, um Connie, he's my Connie, uh literally said the night before that grandpa came to her in her dreams and was like, everything's gonna be okay.

00:59:38.239 --> 00:59:44.239
And obviously at the point, you know, at that point she didn't understand, and then you know, the next day we found out that he had passed away.

00:59:44.639 --> 00:59:46.239
So Yeah.

00:59:46.880 --> 00:59:50.480
There's definitely things I believe out there that we just we can't explain.

00:59:50.800 --> 00:59:54.239
I'm really excited for you in this pivot.

00:59:54.400 --> 00:59:57.119
Like I said, I do believe that everything happens for a reason.

00:59:58.400 --> 00:59:59.840
For those of you out there that aren't following.

01:00:01.599 --> 01:00:04.880
Um I'll make sure that I post the Instagram and the TikTok.

01:00:05.760 --> 01:00:07.679
What what did you change your name to?

01:00:08.960 --> 01:00:13.519
Uh I actually I recently changed it to uh so it's Rietta.

01:00:14.559 --> 01:00:18.719
It's Rieta, it's my first name, so it's Rietta, and then it's Books Truth Vibes.

01:00:19.599 --> 01:00:20.079
Yeah.

01:00:20.400 --> 01:00:26.079
Yeah, I I noticed that when I when I went to see your content recently, I was like, oh she changed it.

01:00:26.400 --> 01:00:27.360
So I did.

01:00:27.440 --> 01:00:31.679
And then I went freaking viral on Instagram and I don't even know what to do right now.

01:00:32.559 --> 01:00:34.880
Yeah, you're almost to 10K, man.

01:00:35.760 --> 01:00:43.440
Well, that's all because a goop I made a goopy skeleton skit and it literally got five and a half million views.

01:00:43.760 --> 01:00:45.039
It's wild.

01:00:45.599 --> 01:00:46.159
Wow.

01:00:46.639 --> 01:00:47.280
Wow.

01:00:47.760 --> 01:00:48.960
So what's next for you?

01:00:49.280 --> 01:00:51.440
Oh, more books, because I do love writing.

01:00:51.519 --> 01:00:54.719
I know we've got to do that, but I do still love writing.

01:00:54.800 --> 01:01:01.519
I'm at seven, so number eight should be going to my editor next month, but I need to probably start writing it.

01:01:02.480 --> 01:01:07.920
You're telling me before your books are like four hundred pages easily, right?

01:01:08.239 --> 01:01:09.760
Yeah, you're much like my husband.

01:01:09.840 --> 01:01:11.599
You probably have more of an analytical mind.

01:01:11.679 --> 01:01:17.840
So for you guys that have like analytical minds, when you say like, I wrote a hundred thousand words, you're like, oh my god, that sounds like a nightmare.

01:01:18.480 --> 01:01:21.679
And uh just for folks that don't know what type of genre is it?

01:01:22.639 --> 01:01:24.960
Uh so I'm mainly romance, romance, rom-com.

01:01:25.199 --> 01:01:28.320
I did write what would be considered romantic, so it's fantasy.

01:01:28.400 --> 01:01:40.480
But if you like, you know, Nordic um mythology, so that would be like if you're a fan of Marvel, Marvel used Nordic mythology, that's like Odin, Thor, Loki, like that's Nordic mythology.

01:01:40.639 --> 01:01:42.400
Well, a very small portion of it.

01:01:42.960 --> 01:01:48.559
Um, and I'm hoping I'm hoping to write a psychological thriller this month.

01:01:48.719 --> 01:01:55.920
Um, my mom has been begging me to write, well, I don't want to say begging, but she's been asking me to write one because that's one of her favorite things.

01:01:56.079 --> 01:01:57.679
So yeah.

01:01:58.000 --> 01:02:00.000
Yeah, I really wish I could get in the books more.

01:02:00.079 --> 01:02:04.880
I was so glad that Matt Stack's book was like 150 pages long.

01:02:04.960 --> 01:02:09.840
Because I'm like, wow, I didn't even like to read books when I was in college, man, like or high school, I hated it.

01:02:10.079 --> 01:02:15.679
But um, when it's something that touches your life or something you're passionate about, it's an easy read for sure.

01:02:15.840 --> 01:02:18.079
And I'm really proud of everything you've done, man.

01:02:18.159 --> 01:02:22.639
You've you've been a great part of my circle, or maybe I'm a part of your circle.

01:02:22.880 --> 01:02:23.599
I mean, I mean it.

01:02:23.679 --> 01:02:33.679
Like it's it's refreshing to know people that are out there writing multiple books, doing positive things, and I know the difficulties of living a military life.

01:02:34.000 --> 01:02:43.760
Um, so it's it's like I said, it's refreshing to hear like you know, you and Kyle just making it happen, whether it's in Hawaii or it's on the East Coast.

01:02:44.000 --> 01:02:45.840
Um we're trying.

01:02:45.920 --> 01:02:47.840
I mean, we're definitely not perfect.

01:02:48.159 --> 01:02:49.280
No couple is.

01:02:49.519 --> 01:02:49.760
Yeah.

01:02:50.559 --> 01:02:54.320
If they try to tell you are, they're they're lying their ass off.

01:02:54.400 --> 01:02:57.440
But you know, that's the thing is if you try to make it work or not.

01:02:57.760 --> 01:02:58.320
Yeah.

01:02:58.559 --> 01:02:58.960
Yeah.

01:02:59.199 --> 01:03:04.719
Understanding that no matter where you're at, you're always gonna have some complications, some issues.

01:03:04.880 --> 01:03:06.239
The grass is never greener.

01:03:06.639 --> 01:03:10.320
Uh two people are never gonna see eye to eye all the time.

01:03:10.400 --> 01:03:12.400
That's just it's not reality.

01:03:12.719 --> 01:03:13.679
It's not reality.

01:03:13.840 --> 01:03:15.280
There's so much more we could talk about.

01:03:15.360 --> 01:03:17.679
I mean, I love having conversations with you because I I don't know.

01:03:17.760 --> 01:03:20.400
For some reason, I feel like we could sit and talk forever.

01:03:20.480 --> 01:03:23.119
Uh maybe one of these days we can actually meet in person.

01:03:23.280 --> 01:03:24.559
Um that would be amazing.

01:03:24.639 --> 01:03:25.440
Yeah, I'd love that.

01:03:25.519 --> 01:03:28.000
Uh, give me an excuse to go back out to California.

01:03:28.239 --> 01:03:28.480
Yeah.

01:03:28.559 --> 01:03:29.119
Let me know.

01:03:29.199 --> 01:03:31.519
We have beautiful weather out here, but this place is insane.

01:03:31.760 --> 01:03:32.960
Um Yeah.

01:03:33.199 --> 01:03:34.320
I wasn't a huge fan.

01:03:34.480 --> 01:03:35.760
No offense, Californians.

01:03:35.840 --> 01:03:38.000
That just was not for me.

01:03:38.239 --> 01:03:39.599
I'm not a huge fan either.

01:03:39.760 --> 01:03:44.719
Um, maybe maybe one of these days we can get out to a podcast convention or something like that.

01:03:44.800 --> 01:03:46.480
I've been looking into that maybe next year.

01:03:46.639 --> 01:03:47.920
So let me know.

01:03:48.079 --> 01:03:50.239
I actually honestly didn't even know that was a thing.

01:03:50.400 --> 01:03:53.679
So if you find one that's cool, send me a link and uh we'll go.

01:03:53.920 --> 01:04:00.800
There's a few out there, but I guess they'll have to go and check it out to figure out if it's if it's uh worth it or not.

01:04:00.880 --> 01:04:03.039
I'm sure it is, because at the end of the day, to connect with folks.

01:04:03.119 --> 01:04:16.480
When I used to go to the Military Influencer Conference, um, it was great to connect with real people and actually meet them in person and and see who they were and and get to know them like uh you know, so many folks that I've I've met when they were out here in Vegas a few times.

01:04:16.639 --> 01:04:22.639
But so for everyone out there, uh make sure you follow Rietta on Instagram, TikTok.

01:04:22.800 --> 01:04:25.280
Are you on YouTube as well or what other platforms?

01:04:25.599 --> 01:04:26.400
I am actually.

01:04:26.559 --> 01:04:33.119
Uh both, I mean, I don't use my private one very often, but the podcast, the podcast is on YouTube.

01:04:34.159 --> 01:04:34.400
Yeah.

01:04:34.559 --> 01:04:37.440
And uh are you in season right now recording?

01:04:38.320 --> 01:04:41.119
So I'm pretty much always putting up new episodes.

01:04:41.280 --> 01:04:47.280
I just probably much like you, I don't record during the summer, but I had batch recorded before that, so I was still releasing during the summer.

01:04:47.440 --> 01:04:48.800
I did go to bi-weekly.

01:04:48.880 --> 01:04:51.920
I will be back to weekly now that school's back in session.

01:04:52.000 --> 01:04:54.079
So every Friday, an episode goes up every Friday.

01:04:54.159 --> 01:04:55.599
So tomorrow, a new episode will go up tomorrow.

01:04:55.679 --> 01:04:57.199
I don't know when you're earning this though.

01:04:57.519 --> 01:05:07.679
I miss those days when I used to uh be able to produce every week and publish every week, but I do it every other week now, whether it's a solo one or it's just with a guest.

01:05:07.920 --> 01:05:14.239
So I really appreciate you connecting with me four years ago and then keeping in contact with me over the years.

01:05:14.320 --> 01:05:17.199
And I it's been great catching up.

01:05:17.280 --> 01:05:18.000
That's all there is to it.

01:05:18.239 --> 01:05:18.559
Yeah.

01:05:18.719 --> 01:05:19.599
Yeah, absolutely.

01:05:19.760 --> 01:05:23.519
Thank you for uh having me, and it's always a pleasure to uh chat with you.

01:05:23.840 --> 01:05:28.000
For folks out there, make sure you follow Rietta on her social media platforms.

01:05:28.159 --> 01:05:39.199
I will uh put those down in the show notes if you're listening to this on a podcast or if you're watching this on YouTube, just scroll down there to the bottom and click on the links and add Rietta, follow her.

01:05:39.360 --> 01:05:50.159
Let's find out, you know, if there's any resolution or any final verdict with Heather's case, um, as well as where Rietta will be pivoting to here in the next few months.

01:05:50.239 --> 01:05:55.119
I mean, this woman sitting in front of me is literally authored eight different books.

01:05:55.280 --> 01:05:57.039
She's a military spouse.

01:05:57.360 --> 01:06:07.920
Um, she's run running this TikTok that's helping with true crime, and then she also runs a podcast as well that talks to amazing people with that uh overcomes trials and tribulations of life.

01:06:08.079 --> 01:06:10.159
So amazing person, Rietta.

01:06:10.719 --> 01:06:11.679
Thank you, KP.

01:06:11.840 --> 01:06:12.480
You're sweet.

01:06:13.199 --> 01:06:16.000
For everyone else out there, as always, thank you for tuning in.

01:06:16.079 --> 01:06:20.719
And I want you to always stay tuned, stay focused, and stay motivated.

01:06:21.039 --> 01:06:22.639
Warriors, fall out.