Managing Professional Character with Army Special Operations SFC Javier Guitron

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A lot of people go through struggles. And if you're if we're just willing to be open and honest about those struggles, if somebody has the courage to speak about them, you find that a lot of people relate to you, and you can share that compassion and you can build trust that way.

All yours fall in, it's time for formation. Today, I'm joined with a military spouse, who's decided to start an organization last year, reached out to me through Instagram. And from there, we began to network and just wanted to follow up with her today and find out where she's at as far as where her organization is right now. When I first met her, she had really, really great intentions on where to go with it, and I definitely saw a need for it. So today, I'm gonna be joined with Michelle Lange, who is the founder of Veteran Help Point. Michelle, thank you for joining us on the Morning Formation Podcast.

Yeah, thanks for having me. It's very exciting.

Is it absolute honor, and you know, I see here on your Instagram account, Veteran Help Point, you describe it as curating an online community of vetted local resources for US veterans and their families. Now, can you tell us what made you decide to create this organization?

Yeah, so it stems from basically my family's on heartache. Whenever my husband transitioned out of the military in 2019, we, you know, he was doing everything that he needed to be doing as far as going through SFL, tap, having plan A, plan B, plan C. And whenever we got to the outside world to civilian world, it kind of really, really fell apart for us, we were met with some unexpected challenges with him and his mental health. And I didn't know how to meet those needs, I didn't know who to turn to, to help him get his needs met. And the organizations that we reached out to are the ones that denied and care. So that kind of sent him down into a deeper spiral. And it wasn't until, you know, reaching out to his veteran community that we figured out the path forward. And I just thought it really should not be this difficult to find local help, especially where we were we were right outside Philadelphia. And it really was frustrating to me in an age where you can Google everything. But you know, algorithms dominate the search engines, right. So you're not things that you're Googling or searching for on the web, they might not be coming up. So I really wanted to build not just a database of resources, but a community of resources, people that are on the same page as me, that want to help veterans and their families, because it's a family is a family affair, if one person is suffering, the whole family usually suffers. So we're really looking for those organizations that are there to support the family.

Yeah, that what you're talking about, specifically, are some things that I went through as well when I got out of the military. But back when I got out in 2007, there was less of an internet presence today with resources and help back then, you know, I've repeated it number of times. But MySpace was the sexiest thing on social media at the time. And now we've got, like five or six different platforms out there that people were using for social media. And you know, as a veteran community, including the families as well, compared to the entire population of the United States were a very, very small percentage of the entire population. So it's hard to find people that actually understand the pain points, right. And so, with that being said, I could definitely understand you know, when you approached me last year through Instagram, I completely identified with what you're talking about as far as identifying local resources now, from where you started, which was when When did you officially start BetterHelp point.

November 17 2021, is our official birthday, according to the IRS,

and so between and then no before that, you did a lot of research and a lot of a lot of trial and errors and trying to figure things out, but From that time to now, can you talk to us about some of the growth patterns that you've had and some of the things that you've learned?

Yeah, I really drank from the firehose, honestly. So after I talked to you, and you got me on the path to LinkedIn, that's where I've met a lot of people that have, really, I mean, jumped in and helped me in a way that I've never been helped before in my life. And that supported me that we're very, I mean, just the amount of advice, good, bad, friendly, all of it. Like, if it's just been amazing. So the networking that I've I've done, and support that I've received, has really been overwhelming. That being said, I've spent a lot of my time networking learning from people who have done similar business ideas in the veteran space, there's a lot to learn whenever you're starting something like this. The other really big thing that I've had to tackle as been, I would say, public opinion of a database like this, and I was really, I've had to learn how to adjust course, quickly. Whenever I, gosh, I just don't know how to explain it. I've been very surprised about the public opinion, both by active duty members and civilians, because there's a mindset with a civilian population. That's like, oh, you know, you, you served our country, that's great. There's all these resources available to you. Why do we want to donate to your why do we need to help you? I love what you're doing, but don't really understand why you're doing it. Because they don't understand really, the the barrier to getting that that help. So that has been a really big message that I've had to figure out. And I'm still continuing to figure out how I can you know, reach that audience a little bit more and kind of understand break down those walls. The other really fun message that I have to reevaluate is active duty. Members, not thinking they need help. Oh, yeah. And it's, yeah, I get it, I get it. No one ever wants to envision themselves in a place where they need help. But you need to be prepared. And you need to start preparing a lot earlier than what you think you need to whenever you're transitioning. Because a lot of people at transition fairs, they'll see my organization and think, oh, I don't ever plan on being homeless, like I don't ever Well, no, I'm not saying that. But do you need a realtor that that understands, you know, works with a well respected VA lender? Do you need, you know, housing situations like that? Can I help you point to job assistance organizations that are not going to take your money? Like, there's a lot that goes into it, and the lack of preparedness is right, is an interesting message.

I know exactly what you're saying. Because you know why? I was one of those active duty guys. And I basically just, you know, blew everybody off and said, I got this, don't worry about it. And it's so funny, because now that I've already kind of forged that path, you know, where I am right now, in my own career. And I'm, and I'm out of the military, been there done that before. Whenever I try to reach back and tried to warn active duty military members, hey, there's a waterfall. Like, you know, it's coming, and you can hear it, and you think you understand what you're going to be dealing with, but you don't understand. People can really get in their own way. And so, you describing what you're talking about, as far as active duty folks, not really understanding, I completely know what you're talking about. Because when I'm talking about my podcast, and I'm talking about the purpose of my podcast, with career transition, for example, they're like, Well, I don't need that because I've got x, y and z. What you don't have is you don't have networking. You don't have the competitiveness to understand that. It's not just you that's going to be looking to get a job out there. But you're going to be competing against literally people that are graduating from very good universities. And that was what I experienced. When I got out. The day that I interviewed with some of the big companies that I interviewed with, it wasn't just me it was me competing with the with the guy that went to Notre Dame and was in a certain fraternity and He was on the road team and he did all these great things. And then here I am talking to a recruiter who doesn't understand what an army captain does, you know, but he knows everything about Notre Dame because he went to Notre Dame too. So that, you know, it's we really get in our own way sometimes. So I understand what you're saying as far as like, folks not like what what would Veteran Help Point do for me, I also experienced the same thing as well. And many people don't seem to really care about a lot of the things that that you know, we're talking about until it's in their own backyard, right?

For sure.

So yeah, so how So how have you gone about kind of showing people like, look, this is like, this is a necessity? We have help for you, if you need help. I mean, do you just walk away? And then leave your number and say, Hey, come back to us when you need us?

Yeah, I've been trying to show up to a lot of transition fairs. And each each fare i go to I learn how to, you know, better fine tune my message. And it's interesting, because, you know, I'm, I didn't serve, I'm a military spouse. So sometimes you get, you get the people and it's predominantly guys, I don't, you know, you know, the number of women in service is just lower. So they kind of just like, what do you what do you really know about that. And I don't have that type of like firsthand knowledge. But I have done a lot of observing. And I've done a lot of talking to people. And mental health is very interesting to me, it's something I'm very passionate about. So kind of getting, you know, what their, their mind set is in, like, what are they thinking about? How do I need to adjust my message based on what they're thinking right now, and kind of strategic partnership? You know, I'm, I'm working on aligning myself with some people that are, that can fill some gaps for me that I'm not able to do that in my organization. So it can be more of a symbiotic relationship and therefore, help more transitioning members. But what I kind of find is that you gotta have to put a bug in people's ear hope they remember you, and then have a strong social media presence so that way, because I get a lot of referrals through social media, whether it's LinkedIn, Instagram, or Facebook. Because people reach out whenever they need help, and it's, it's not a proactive thing. It's, it's, I need help. Now, what do I do?

Right? Yeah, it's not, hey, I'm prepared. And it's like, I need help, like yesterday, right? And what's amazing to me, Michelle is what I've learned is the whole 22 a day, the suicide rate that was that we've been talking about for last few years, people are more apt to go out there and do push ups, or do squats or do some ridiculous thing, and I don't care, fight me on it, I'll say it, I don't care. It's ridiculous. Like at the end of the day, they're more apt to do that and support that than they are to support you, and what you're doing, which is an actionable item, that's actually going to be helpful to someone physically helpful, and mentally helpful for someone. And that's what really, pisses me off, to be honest with you. It really pisses me off, because at the end of the day, I deal with people who think that if I go on a GoFundMe account, and I give someone 50 bucks, I have helped, yeah, you help like that much, maybe? Well, how about you create a space for folks who can actually have that everlasting help, that continues on and on and on for many of people, many of families out there. So that's why I think that folks like you are so great. Going back to what you talked about earlier, with the whole LinkedIn thing, I forgot all about that. I remember you were just on Instagram. And I had told you that you need to get on LinkedIn, because it's so great, you can actually see kind of the background, the experiences of the people that you're connecting with and stuff. So I'm glad to hear that, that that worked out for you. And you were able to connect and network with more folks. For sure. You know, gaining the trust of the military community is really hard. And you know, the one thing that I think about gaining trust is every single army base out there, and I'm sure it's the same for the Marines in the Navy, every single army base has the used car lot, just off of base, right. And you have your pay chart right there so you know how much you make. So it's kind of it's kind of one of those things where like, don't get swindled by you know, someone so gaining that trust from people is is really difficult. So, aside from showing up to events, and you know, trying to clearly, clearly communicate your message and what you're doing. Have you found any other ways to try to get through that barrier of trust that the military community Hands to put up.

To be honest with you, I've been very surprised at how many people have been willing to help me, I haven't run into too many other than like in person, people that are just like, I don't really think I need your help. I've been very surprised, especially down here were at Fort Bragg. And so there's a very large, you know, soft community down here. And the amount of support that I've received specifically from that community, which was very intimidating to me, has blown my mind like it. They're their helpers, they're just willing to help. And I think that from maybe other people's standpoint, I am passionate, I'm very open and honest. And I believe very much that everything my husband and I have been through has been to share other share with others. And so being open and honest about that has helped to build people's trust, because you never expect bad things to help happen to you. But if you're willing to talk about it, and you're willing to relate to people, just just extending a hand and extending some compassion, because a lot of people go through similar struggles. But they're not talked about like us, for example, we didn't talk to our friends about it at first, because we thought we're the only idiots that are going through this right now. Like, it's embarrassing. When I talked to my family about it, they'd be like, I have no idea what you're what you're dealing with, just deal with it. Like a lot of people go through struggles. And if you're, if we're just willing to be open and honest about those struggles, if somebody has the courage to speak about them, you find that a lot of people relate to you, and you can share that compassion and you can build trust that way.

Right? Yeah, I mean, it takes time, right? It's a slow crawl. To gain that trust, especially within this community. Specifically, I've known folks who are not even tied to the you're a military spouse, so you endured a lot, you know, with your husband going on TDY, maybe deployments and things like that, like being gone from the house, having to move somewhere strange land strange people, right? So you understand a lot of that, that culture that comes with being in the military. So a lot of what you're talking about really comes through to me as being very authentic and like what you want to do and where you want to go. And that's what really struck me when I first started talking to you, but Michelle, overall, like running this podcast for over a year now. I can tell you, it is aside from work, family and everything else going on externally. Right. It's very difficult, very difficult to do. What do you think? Aside from your past experience, what do you think keeps you going do you? Do you hit those mile markers where you sort of see someone that's, you know, a member of veteran help point, get help? And then that kind of motivates you to keep going or what is it?

Um, gosh, it's just like, climbing a mountain and then descending, it's, I have moments where I'm just like, okay, yes, we're on the right track. And then there's moments where I'm like, I need to quit, like, somebody else is doing something better than me. Like, they're, it's just so cyclical. But when I am talking to other people and hearing their stories, and, and just to hear somebody say, Wow, I wish this organization was around whenever I was going through my stuff, because this could be really useful. It just reminds me like, okay, there are people that, that find this useful. I'm not crazy, this is not a really dumb idea. Because I, I do have a lot of moments of self doubt. But when I find somebody that is supporting me, and kind of reinforces that I'm not crazy, it helps keep me going. Because the first year of building a business is it's just tough, like nonprofits. They have you know, a very, very short lifespan, and most don't make it past a year. So we're coming up here on on a year and I have done so much more than I thought that I would do and so much less than I thought that I would do my expectations have totally changed I've done a 180 as far as you know, what I wanted to accomplish so it's a it's been an interesting ride, but definitely seeing all the people and seeing the potential and I just keep I keep seeing ways that I can expand this and and utilize this and, and help a bigger population. I have so many plans, many, many years from now because I needed Get it together now. But yeah.

Yeah. So before I talked about what's over the horizon for you and veteran help point, I probably should have mentioned this earlier. But can you talk us through what exactly veteran help point is going to look like or what it looks like now as far as the website and how the military community could properly utilize veteran help point to help them out?

Yeah, so our website is veteran help point.com. And, right now we're focusing on the south eastern region of the United States. So on the website, that's what's going to show up, I have been doing a lot behind the scenes. So my goal for November 5, which is our next big event, is to have the southeast region totally live and ready to roll for that event down here in North Carolina. But we are focusing on 10 categories of help. So the 10 categories are mental health, primary care, physical therapy, holistic therapy, financial aid, and literacy, fitness, Legal Aid, benefits, housing, and job assistance. And those, again, are local resources to you. So we want to make sure that the resources that you're calling you're more than just a number, and you're not just calling up a one 800 Number and like, you're going to be asked, Hey, how much do you want to donate first, before you can talk to a live person because I did call a large organization the other day, and that's what they asked me. So I was furious about that. But anyway, we we want to make sure that you're in touch with somebody in your own backyard that that is going to understand you and you know, finish the job that you need started.

Yeah, yeah, most definitely. And that's, that's where that's where Michelle's idea comes in right there is you're not getting a one 800 Number, you're actually gonna be dealing with local people that you can see face to face, within your own region or within your own city even. And so Michelle, how does veteran help point plan to properly vet the quality of care provided by the folks that are going to be connected with you?

Great question. So right now I'm doing it all myself, and what I call it is lightly vetting. So I'm making sure that the organization like I have my whole spreadsheet up here. So every organization that I I have on there, you know, you check out their website, you check out their standing in the community, you you see what others reviews have said about them. Next step is I want to reach out, I want to talk to each of these organizations to make sure they're doing what they say they're doing and making sure we kind of have the same mission as far as helping veterans and their families. What I have somebody that's helping me build my new website, and what we're going to be doing is, you will be able to make an account on veteran help point. And then if you've used that service, basically, it'll be like an Angie's List for services. So you're going to be able to rate and review the services that you received. Because personally, I mean, everybody, you can leave a negative review, you can leave a positive review, but whenever I'm looking for a new restaurant to eat that I'm I'm looking to see what their five star rating is from Yelp or whatever. And I'm looking at the reviews that are are recent, because I want real people's experience, not just what they say, on their website, or you know, or what food critics have said about them, I want to see what the community has said about them. And I think that public opinion in that way, holds a lot of weight. And it kind of helps keep them accountable. Right. So you know if they'll be able to see any negative or positive reviews, so they can reinforce that as they see fit. But I think that that is a really good way to help continuously, that these organizations that are going to be listed on the website.

Yeah, that sounds like sounds like you've come a long way because I remember early on you were talking about this, and you definitely have connected with folks. And I can tell you that even for myself with my podcast when I connected with act, no education, and Jay Salters from ACT NOW Education, it was very, it was very weird because I had not answered a lot of questions about my own. My own podcast I didn't know I knew that I wanted to be here. I knew I wanted to be in this space, but I didn't know who specifically I wanted to serve. What did I want to serve? What did I want to do? So talking to the folks within our community really helped me out with helping out with with my own podcast and I can tell you this from early on from the day that I met you the one thing that you have been awesome at and you still are awesome at are your social media posts, especially on Instagram. You are you are freaking great when it comes to the video camera and your creative as well. And I wish I had half of what you have when it comes to some of the posts that you do, Michelle, because I know it's all homegrown, right? It's all you. Is there a team involved?

No, just me. And maybe my lack of dignity and willing to put that on the internet. But

have you always been kind of like that where you're like you're just willing to get on stage and start to start dancing?

Yeah, I was actually thinking about a talent show that I was doing with my friends in sixth grade. And we didn't plan any of it. And it was, I hope that there's not a recording of that. It was so cringy and horrible. Just yeah. Yeah, so fun.

So over the span of the last year, Michelle, do you want to give a shout out to anyone out there who's kind of helped you out catapulted you along the way really catapulted you as far as being like a game changer.

I mean, I do whatever I'm on other podcasts. I do talk about you and how you started me on LinkedIn. Because without you getting me on LinkedIn, I wouldn't have met these other people that I mean, truly have changed my life. There's a group called Angels 14 on there that I don't know if if you've seen them yet. If not, I'll definitely tag you. It's, um, it's not all veterans as better as military spouses and people who support the military, but I have just never been so supportive in my life. You know, one lady, she took me on a 10 week mental fitness journey. Another veteran, he helped me with mindfulness and meditation and there and I had, you know, a phone call with another guy who's wants to help me out with my website. And another way it's just been Angeles, 14 has been the most supportive group for leadership for mental health for, for everything. They've, they've been amazing. And then, you know, I met another good buddy of mine, on LinkedIn. He was down here at Bragg. Steve Nesbitt, and he has a company called shields and stripes, which is a really, really cool, nonprofit tool that helps veterans and first responders. So yeah, that they've been, I definitely have a good group of support in a way that I truly have never been supported in my life up until this point, and it is it is incredible, I'm very thankful for it.

It's kind of kind of hard to, to get past a lot of the negative stuff when it comes to building something like this. But then you think about the folks out there who are really supporting you and believing you and, and it makes it all worthwhile. And, and thank you for acknowledging me, I didn't do anything. Michelle, you just came to me, we were talking, I just saw some things. And I can tell you that LinkedIn, if you if anyone out there listening is not on LinkedIn, you need to get on LinkedIn. And here's why LinkedIn is the best way to see where someone has come from, you can see their entire line of experience, you can see their resume, basically. And it's, I guess, it's the best way to vet someone, and determine whether or not you should connect with them, or whether it's the right connection that you have. And so that's why I've used LinkedIn quite a bit over the span of the last year or so, to help me out with my podcasts as well. And so, Michelle, I know that you're a busy mama, so we won't keep you on here much longer. I can hear the I can hear the little ones in the background getting getting getting rascal and your your your husband's probably down there, you know, doing his best, but um, long term wise, long term, where do you see veteran hope point going?

Okay, well, a lot, I have a lot of different plans for this, I want to I have a big heart for you know, the blue collar workers that are are putting in the work every day. And I want to be able to partner with corporations and organizations to get veterans placed in blue collar jobs. And that way, I have my baby out there. Sorry. So that's like, that's one branch of it. Another is I want to expand my resource list. So I want to be able to say these resources are for veterans, I want to have resource for spouses, for children. And then I would like to duplicate this, which is this is me like being very, very ambitious. But I'd also like to duplicate something like this for law enforcement and first responder resources. And then, you know, I would also like to do that for people who are incarcerated, for resources to getting them back into jobs, health care, things like that, because these are all very underserved populations.

Wow, yeah, I never really thought about the incarcerated before. And the first responders as well, you know, how this could properly serve them as a great product to find the local resources, the local help. And he talks about blue collar. I was just recently talking to someone, a friend of mine, he's a Marine. And he was telling me he was always talking about Blue Collar stuff, he never talked about Blue, or you always talk about white collar, you never talk about Blue Collar stuff. And like I do from time to time, I definitely respect like, what mechanics and, and H vac, and plumbing and all that stuff actually was trying to connect with someone recently. Who does that, who basically helps out veterans who are seeking to get certified or get licensed in some of those blue collar areas. And so if I get connected with them, I'll definitely send them your way as well, because it's all about networking, right? And handing off handing off those valuable valuable contacts. Michelle, overall, this found this podcast, we've talked all about veteran help point, you know, is there anything that you'd like to you'd like to mention here, at the end of the podcast, any pieces of advice for anyone out there listening? That may help them whether they're thinking about starting their own organization, or maybe they're at a point in their lives where they're looking to get some help? Do you have any advice, that valuable advice that is at the top of your mind that you'd like to talk about?

I mean, if you're looking to start your own organization, I, you've got a network because there's somebody out there that's, that's already thought of your idea, or that's doing something similar. So you need to learn from everybody. And, and everybody is a competition, nobody's competition is it's really only you and everybody else you can learn from. So networking is very, very valuable. And something that I've, I've recently started to kind of harp on with my social media and things like that is, if you want to really help somebody, if you want to really help the veteran community, or you know, the Active Duty community, you've got to help yourself first. And a lot of us forget how to do that. So like, the number one thing that you can do to help somebody else is to help yourself and get your mental health, right. Because if, if you're not solid, if your foundation is, is shifty, nobody can lean on you for support. So you've really, really got to figure out how to get a good mental health routine, get good mental health hygiene. So you can truly walk the walk and talk the talk.

That is some great advice. Very, very good advice. Michelle, I couldn't have said it any better. Making sure that your own foundation and that your own house is I guess, supported squared away. Great foundation great base. Because a lot of folks out there sometimes we tend to focus on everyone else, and not ourselves. And so that's great advice, Michelle. And for anyone out there who's interested in contacting you or connecting with you, what is the best platform social media platforms, or what's the best email for them to contact you.

Instagram veteran help point or my email at its Michelle at veteran help point.com.

And I'll make sure I put all that down in the show notes. So if you're listening to this on the podcast, scroll down to the bottom of the podcasts episode itself. And you'll find all of Michelle's contact information links to get to her Instagram or in her LinkedIn as well. And if you're watching this on YouTube, you can scroll to the bottom of the description, and it'll be the same thing down there as well. So Michelle, I just want to say thank you for giving me your time. And being so flexible with the schedule, you know, we both are working and doing this on the side because of our passion. And overall, I gotta say that I'm very thankful to be connected with folks like you. And speaking of which, like we're all in competition, but we're not in competition. At the same time. I'm wearing Ryan's vet with a mic podcast, give him a shout out. He's part of the part of the coalition, right. So with that being said, you know, help each other out and support each other. But Michelle, thank you for giving us your time on the morning formation today. And I'm looking forward to seeing where you're going to be over the horizon in the next few months. Two years. So

yeah, that's great being on here. Thank you.

All right, Michelle, let you get back to your to your mom duties. And, and I know that your toddler is out there pounding down the door waiting for you to get out there and, and, and tend to them. So thank you so much. And for everyone else out there listening to the more information I want to thank you for your time today. Please connect with Michelle, when you get a chance to add her to your social media platforms. And as always, I want you to stay tuned, stay focused, and stay motivated warriors Fall Out