Aug. 4, 2025

Rising Above Trauma: Sumeya's Non Profit Path to Empowerment

Rising Above Trauma: Sumeya's Non Profit Path to Empowerment

Shoot me a message! Army Veteran Sumeya Gibril shares her powerful story of founding Rise Above, Be Relentless Foundation, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting military sexual trauma survivors through healing, mentorship, and empowerment. • Experienced childhood sexual trauma and domestic violence from ages 6-11 before migrating to America • Started the foundation after witnessing how military sexual assault victims were often blamed while perpetrators faced no consequences • Foundation provi...

Apple Podcasts podcast player badge
Spotify podcast player badge
Castro podcast player badge
RSS Feed podcast player badge
Apple Podcasts podcast player icon Spotify podcast player icon Castro podcast player icon RSS Feed podcast player icon
Season 3

Shoot me a message!

Army Veteran Sumeya Gibril shares her powerful story of founding Rise Above, Be Relentless Foundation, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting military sexual trauma survivors through healing, mentorship, and empowerment.

• Experienced childhood sexual trauma and domestic violence from ages 6-11 before migrating to America
• Started the foundation after witnessing how military sexual assault victims were often blamed while perpetrators faced no consequences
• Foundation provides civilian lawyers for active duty women, mental health support, and financial assistance for domestic violence survivors
• Core pillars include "Sustenance comes from the creator, not people" and "Embrace the suck" to help survivors take control of their healing
• Foundation focuses on helping "people who want to help themselves" rather than those who remain in victim mentality
• Emphasizes thorough vetting of claims to maintain credibility and avoid false accusations
• Upcoming events include a gala on August 20th at Tower Club in Tysons Corner and a golf tournament on September 29th at Belmont Country Club
• Vision to expand nationally and eventually internationally to support women worldwide
• Advises survivors to channel anger productively, recognize their inherent worth, and take back their power

Join us for our upcoming events! The military service gala on August 20th at Tower Club Tysons and our charity golf tournament on September 29th at Belmont Country Club. Visit riseaboveberelentless.betterworld.org to learn more.

Website:Rise Above Be Relentless Foundation - CORE Foundation

Hearts of Valor Gala Tickets:Hearts of Valor Gala Tickets, Wed, Aug 20, 2025 at 5:30 PM | Eventbrite

Hearts of Valor Gala- Sponsorship Opportunity: The Hearts of Valor Gala by Rise Above Be Relentless Foundation | BetterWorld

Golf Tournament Registration: Rise Above Golf Tournament by Rise Above Be Relentless Foundation | BetterWorld


LinkedIn: RISE ABOVE BE RELENTLESS FOUNDATION: Company Page Admin | LinkedIn 
Instagram: Instagram
Tiktok: (11)Rise Above Be Relentless Fdn (@riseaboveberelentlessfdn) | TikTok

Support the show

Check out our website

Please Support & Donate to the Podcast: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/themorningform

USA Made socks with a Purpose. 20% off with code: TMF
https://www.solediersocks.com/tmf

Episode Powered By Act Now Education

00:00 - Introduction to Sumeya and Her Foundation

11:42 - Origins of Rise Above, Be Relentless

24:42 - Confronting False Accusations and Truth

35:16 - From East Africa to America's Challenges

45:56 - Core Mission Pillars and Values

59:43 - Gala and Golf Tournament Events

01:04:43 - Advice for Survivors to Rise Above

WEBVTT

00:00:01.221 --> 00:00:02.365
Warriors fall in.

00:00:02.365 --> 00:00:03.649
It's time for formation.

00:00:03.649 --> 00:00:06.286
So, folks, welcome to the morning formation.

00:00:06.286 --> 00:00:12.948
Today I'm joined with Sumeya Gibral, who's joined me before, actually two other times on the podcast.

00:00:12.948 --> 00:00:26.246
Sumeya is the founder of Rise Above, be Relentless Foundation, a nonprofit organization that is committed to empowering communities the military sexual trauma community through healing, mentorship, relentlessness and self-belief.

00:00:26.246 --> 00:00:40.682
With a powerful backstory and an unwavering mission, sumaya's organization is making waves through the innovative programs, events and grassroots engagements that she's coming up with, and today we're going to talk about a gala that's coming up in August and a golf tournament in September.

00:00:40.682 --> 00:00:43.386
Sumaya, thank you for joining me on the Morning Formation today.

00:00:44.487 --> 00:00:45.950
Thank you so much for having me again.

00:00:45.950 --> 00:00:48.753
Kp Hi Formation Nation.

00:00:48.753 --> 00:00:49.493
How are you doing?

00:00:50.054 --> 00:00:51.055
Formation Nation.

00:00:51.582 --> 00:00:52.659
Yeah, I think that should be it.

00:00:53.220 --> 00:00:56.365
That's a new one.

00:00:56.365 --> 00:00:57.408
Can I coin that?

00:00:57.408 --> 00:00:58.951
The Formation Nation.

00:00:58.951 --> 00:01:03.223
I love how, when I'm just having a regular conversation, stuff like that comes up.

00:01:03.223 --> 00:01:18.572
I was talking to Tyrone Hewitt and earlier and he brought up how some employers are veteran friendly but not veteran ready and I was like I've never heard that phrase before.

00:01:18.572 --> 00:01:21.067
But I think that's so wise right.

00:01:21.900 --> 00:01:22.403
It is.

00:01:22.403 --> 00:01:25.093
You never know what gems people hold, you know.

00:01:25.936 --> 00:01:31.855
No doubt I'm so fortunate to have folks like you in my circle, like straight up you are a straight up baller.

00:01:31.855 --> 00:01:44.248
From learning on our last episode where you came from to where you are now, I mean you really exemplify girl power, I mean in every way shape.

00:01:44.248 --> 00:01:55.173
It's not something you just say, but you, you walk the walk as well, and so I'm extremely fortunate to have you in my circle and it's great to hear about your nonprofit that you've been running.

00:01:55.173 --> 00:02:00.569
Can you start off by telling us what inspired you to create Rise Above, Be Relentless Foundation?

00:02:01.450 --> 00:02:14.783
I started Rise Above Be Relentless Foundation because I'm a survivor of military sexual trauma because of sexual harassment and childhood sexual trauma from like age 6 to 11, with domestic violence.

00:02:14.783 --> 00:02:19.020
If somebody asked me about my trauma, I'd be like do you need a menu?

00:02:19.020 --> 00:02:20.002
And I joke about that.

00:02:20.002 --> 00:02:21.383
You know, it's a way of coping.

00:02:21.383 --> 00:02:31.734
It's a way of coping and I was just tired and angry of people not just getting away with it but being rewarded, like in the military.

00:02:31.734 --> 00:02:41.625
If you accuse somebody of sexual harassment, assault, rape, they'd be like oh yeah, we're going to do something about it.

00:02:41.625 --> 00:02:43.390
And then this person is promoted and they're moved to another location.

00:02:43.390 --> 00:02:50.830
And you know, the woman is just either she loses rank or she's labeled as this problematic person.

00:02:50.830 --> 00:02:53.381
And it's just and they just.

00:02:53.381 --> 00:02:55.546
It just keeps happening and happening again.

00:02:55.546 --> 00:03:02.131
And even in my community, even in society, instead of like asking like, hey, are you okay?

00:03:02.131 --> 00:03:04.887
They're like no, we sweep these things under the rug.

00:03:04.887 --> 00:03:09.430
And this is verbatim and it just made me so angry.

00:03:09.430 --> 00:03:19.730
And it's like, even if you say as a survivor, hey, I'm going to, like, I'm going to move on now, you know, but all I ask of you is like hey, ask me how I'm doing, check up on me.

00:03:19.730 --> 00:03:36.229
But communities and societies, they get so uncomfortable they just rather pretend it didn't happen and they ignore the signs, whether you're depressed, stressed or you're feeling suicidal, as long as you're not talking about it out loud, they just kind of cover their ears, cover their eyes.

00:03:36.229 --> 00:03:45.652
And then, when you put it out in the front and just kind of want to talk about it, they do victim blaming and they protect the abusers.

00:03:45.652 --> 00:03:47.758
It just made me angry.

00:03:47.758 --> 00:03:57.223
It made me angry how you know you survive this, terrible things, heinous things, and then you have to explain yourself and you have to hide it.

00:03:57.223 --> 00:03:59.770
Just, it didn't make sense to me, even as a kid.

00:03:59.991 --> 00:04:04.789
I'm a kid who always, you know, asks why anybody tells me to do something.

00:04:04.789 --> 00:04:05.150
I'm like why?

00:04:05.150 --> 00:04:05.752
Why am I doing it?

00:04:05.752 --> 00:04:06.453
What's the purpose?

00:04:06.453 --> 00:04:23.749
And like, once I've healed from all this trauma and I have understood that I'm valuable, just because I exist, you know, and just because somebody harmed me, it doesn't mean it takes away from my value, and I stepped back and I was like who do these people think they are?

00:04:23.749 --> 00:04:48.293
So wait, so you're going to abuse me and then for the people who are not there for me or protected me, and then you didn't do your job as a person who's supposed to be protecting me, and then, on top of that, you're going to care about what people will think, or society will think or community will think, instead of actual my well-being if I'm okay as a person, and instead of making it right, you're just going to be like, no, let's sweep this under the rug.

00:04:48.333 --> 00:04:57.420
I'm like, I'm angry, I'm upset, I'm tired of it.

00:04:57.420 --> 00:04:59.281
I'm like where do they get this audacity from to be the abusers, the negligent individuals?

00:04:59.281 --> 00:05:02.283
And then they come back and they're like you know, make you feel bad.

00:05:02.283 --> 00:05:02.644
You know.

00:05:02.644 --> 00:05:16.293
I feel like you should be angry too, but channel this anger in a good way to do something good, which what I'm doing for I'm using all this anger to do a change, be a force of change and kind of be like you know what.

00:05:16.293 --> 00:05:20.416
I don't have to accept that Nobody's coming to save me, so I have to save myself.

00:05:20.416 --> 00:05:22.161
But yeah, it's just.

00:05:22.180 --> 00:05:30.963
I started it because I was just so angry at society, at the community, and I'm just like I'm not going to accept that.

00:05:30.963 --> 00:05:31.303
I don't think so.

00:05:31.303 --> 00:05:32.065
You don't get to get away with it.

00:05:32.065 --> 00:05:33.589
You don't get to be rewarded for it.

00:05:33.589 --> 00:05:35.254
I don't think so.

00:05:35.254 --> 00:05:35.976
It's just like no.

00:05:35.976 --> 00:05:43.250
Yeah, I just started to say no and I'm not going to accept the scenarios that the media society community is throwing at me.

00:05:43.250 --> 00:05:45.535
I just start saying no, and it doesn't make sense.

00:05:45.535 --> 00:05:48.887
It doesn't make sense, I don't think so.

00:05:48.887 --> 00:05:56.692
So I decided to be more audacious and just shift that shame that they put on survivors and victims back onto them.

00:05:56.692 --> 00:05:57.694
I'm like you should be ashamed.

00:05:57.694 --> 00:05:59.446
You're the one who did this act.

00:05:59.446 --> 00:06:01.245
You're the one who was negligent.

00:06:01.245 --> 00:06:03.225
I just got sick of it.

00:06:03.225 --> 00:06:04.382
I'm like I don't think so.

00:06:04.382 --> 00:06:06.550
I'm like I don't think so.

00:06:06.550 --> 00:06:07.291
You know, I'm just like no.

00:06:07.291 --> 00:06:08.295
No, that's why I started.

00:06:11.389 --> 00:06:12.680
I'm like no, this is just kind of like an act of defiance.

00:06:12.839 --> 00:06:19.793
Taking your power back, I would say in the last few years military sexual trauma the topic in itself has kind of gone both ways.

00:06:19.793 --> 00:06:25.519
There's been false accusations, there's been false accusations, there's been real accusations.

00:06:25.519 --> 00:06:33.733
The challenge is finding that fine line between who's telling the truth and who's not telling the truth.

00:06:33.733 --> 00:06:40.012
Do you know anyone that's ever been falsely accused before of military sexual trauma?

00:06:40.012 --> 00:06:42.427
I mean, we've seen it in the media and stuff right.

00:06:43.048 --> 00:06:55.362
Yeah, so I don't personally know somebody who was accused falsely, but I've heard of it and, like I have a son, so it's just I would hate for something like that to be to happen to him and that makes me.

00:06:55.362 --> 00:06:57.404
That would scare me.

00:06:57.404 --> 00:07:09.771
You know, and like in in my video at the at the my promotional video for this campaign, at the end I named the rapist, the abusers, and you know two of them are.

00:07:09.771 --> 00:07:13.663
One of them name is abd raza, the other one's abd raza khalifa, but they're both in eritrea.

00:07:13.663 --> 00:07:21.923
Like that happened when I was a kid, right, not the one in the states and people thought it was like it was this person that said, like that's not him, you know, and it's not fair to that person.

00:07:21.923 --> 00:07:49.906
And then the one that was here, jamal shumbash, is like he had a case before and I'm like this is him, um, but it's just like it's not fair for people who didn't do anything, who didn't harass anybody, who didn't assault anybody, for their names to be thrown into a mud because, like my goal is not to be like us versus them, it's just more like this is something evil and men and women need to get together to fix it, to stop it.

00:07:50.146 --> 00:08:06.591
You know, and it's not fair that people get accused wrongly and when women or men like accuse individuals wrongly, unjustly, it makes it really hard for the actual survivors to be believed, because it's already hard to be believed in a society we live in.

00:08:06.591 --> 00:08:09.028
It just makes it extremely difficult.

00:08:09.028 --> 00:08:11.788
And it's important that we have credibility.

00:08:11.788 --> 00:08:18.012
We are who we say we are, we stand behind our words and we're courageous.

00:08:18.012 --> 00:08:23.249
That's what I like to you know have a foundation, an organization.

00:08:23.249 --> 00:08:23.569
That is.

00:08:23.569 --> 00:08:26.745
Credibility is very important, integrity is very important.

00:08:26.745 --> 00:08:33.514
We want to have you know a way to you know vet individuals who are saying these things.

00:08:34.000 --> 00:08:44.283
So let's say, for example, somebody says this happened to me, so we're not going to go like you know, we're not in the rage bait business Right and do your due diligence.

00:08:44.283 --> 00:08:47.711
You know, and if you end up accusing somebody wrongly, then you make it right.

00:08:47.711 --> 00:08:53.200
So we do our best to be, to be credible and do our due diligence when these kind of things happen.

00:08:53.980 --> 00:09:06.715
We talked about that beforehand, because there are folks out there that will jump on the bandwagon early before there's been any kind of research, any kind of investigation.

00:09:07.515 --> 00:09:12.273
A lot of these folks that are abusers have a track record.

00:09:12.273 --> 00:09:52.006
It's not like a one-time thing, it's something that continuously happens over and over and over again, and I think that that's important for me to underline, because military sexual trauma is something that I haven't covered, because there's been so many people that have been falsely accused in civilian and military, that have lost their careers by being falsely accused, and so I'm really careful about making sure that I'm not interviewing someone that's just jumping on the rage, on the rage bait, like you mentioned, and that's what I like about what you're doing with your nonprofit that you are having some form of like.

00:09:52.006 --> 00:10:06.283
All right, let's take a breath, let's take a step back, let's look at the facts, let's see if this is really something that we really want to get behind, because there have been cases out there where I've seen people's like careers and lives get ruined over someone else.

00:10:06.283 --> 00:10:07.345
That's just malicious.

00:10:07.345 --> 00:10:26.714
So I think that's where your nonprofit really is different from these other influencers and nonprofits out there is that you understand that there's two sides to this and that you don't just blindly believe everyone that makes accusations, and I just want to make sure that we underline that.

00:10:27.861 --> 00:10:31.030
And the phrase Rise Above, be Relentless.

00:10:31.030 --> 00:10:33.827
Why did you come up with that as a name?

00:10:34.019 --> 00:10:44.129
So when we were preparing for my company, phoenix Global, shipping like a tagline, me and my videographer were working and we're going back through my history.

00:10:44.129 --> 00:10:53.224
I feel like everything, even the company, led to this nonprofit.

00:10:53.224 --> 00:11:01.692
Rise above means rising above the hate, you know, the oppression, the discrimination and just taking charge of your life because you can experience harsher like experiences, and you can come out stronger.

00:11:01.692 --> 00:11:06.047
And then being relentless means that tough moments are not the end.

00:11:06.047 --> 00:11:14.149
They're just an opportunity to get creative, find like an alternative path and never give up Because I found myself in my life.

00:11:14.149 --> 00:11:17.009
I have to rise above a lot of things.

00:11:17.299 --> 00:11:24.443
Otherwise, if I just stick to something like, oh, this person is being racist to me, this person hates me, this person, I'm not going to get anything done.

00:11:24.443 --> 00:11:31.341
So I just have to be like okay, yes, this is hurtful, but I have to move forward because I'm not in that area in my life anymore.

00:11:31.341 --> 00:11:33.164
I have freedom now.

00:11:33.164 --> 00:11:34.668
I have many options.

00:11:34.668 --> 00:11:36.974
We're fine, we have more opportunities.

00:11:36.974 --> 00:11:38.361
Let's just focus on that.

00:11:38.361 --> 00:11:42.028
And then I'm just kind of like that one moment.

00:11:42.028 --> 00:11:43.730
Those abuses are not definition.

00:11:43.730 --> 00:11:54.326
They don't define who you are as a person and you just there has to be always like you have to find an alternative path, otherwise you will lose your mind, cause you're just like you know, I'm like.

00:11:54.326 --> 00:12:03.908
These things happen for a reason, and I might not understand the reason, but I just I have to keep me moving forward and do something good out of this evil.

00:12:03.908 --> 00:12:08.134
You just I just have to keep moving forward and do something good out of this evil.

00:12:08.174 --> 00:12:08.817
You just have to move forward.

00:12:08.817 --> 00:12:09.239
It's the only way.

00:12:09.239 --> 00:12:20.828
Yeah, that's actually a really powerful message in itself is moving forward, because I know your background You're from North Africa, right East Africa, actually East.

00:12:21.289 --> 00:12:21.650
Africa.

00:12:22.312 --> 00:12:22.913
East Africa.

00:12:22.913 --> 00:12:52.754
You're from East Africa, you migrated to the United States at a very young age and then you worked for CBP Customs Border Protection for a little bit and now you're running your own international business and culturally culturally, where you're from a woman running a powerful business is not exactly ideal, right?

00:12:52.754 --> 00:13:05.494
So you mentioned before in the other podcast that you had difficulties trying to get business because you couldn't have meetings with men, basically in the Middle East.

00:13:05.494 --> 00:13:06.414
Is that right?

00:13:07.796 --> 00:13:08.397
So here's the thing.

00:13:08.397 --> 00:13:11.369
Yes, there's the cultural and there's the religious aspect.

00:13:11.369 --> 00:13:15.289
So, islamically, I have all the rights in the world.

00:13:15.289 --> 00:13:18.289
There's a woman named Khadija, one of the Prophet Muhammad's wives.

00:13:18.289 --> 00:13:20.467
She was a businesswoman, a lot richer than him.

00:13:20.467 --> 00:13:30.075
So, just like, islamically, it gives me all the rights I need to thrive, survive, and anybody who gets in the way of that, even if it's your parents, you're not even so.

00:13:30.075 --> 00:13:40.230
We put our parents in higher regards, but if they go in any guide like against guidelines of that says, like against women's rights or anything that's written like in our book, you don't have to listen to them.

00:13:40.230 --> 00:13:48.907
So my religion gives me all the rights I need, like it empowers me, that the only reason I'm doing this is because I get the courage and empowerment from it.

00:13:48.907 --> 00:13:50.971
I get my value from it.

00:13:51.139 --> 00:13:53.485
Right, my culture is the opposite.

00:13:53.686 --> 00:14:10.226
As much as I respect it, women are not really women are second class citizens and unfortunately, people don't practice faith and you know, sometimes people put culture over faith and that's exactly what happened in the Middle East.

00:14:11.620 --> 00:14:18.341
They're like you're a woman, like they canceled a meeting on me and I'm just like okay, then you're not a person I would like to work with, you know.

00:14:18.341 --> 00:14:25.508
So it's just kind of like it's, you know, it's people's attitude and it tells a lot about their character.

00:14:25.508 --> 00:14:27.764
So that's why I don't concern myself.

00:14:27.764 --> 00:14:44.210
Besides, like the cultural dresses and the food and stuff, I don't concern myself with it, I only concern with the right, the God given rights, that I have, and that's what empowers me to keep going, because that's the only thing that matters, because if it's not there, then other people's opinion do not matter.

00:14:44.210 --> 00:14:53.940
And that's what keeps me going, because if I looked at culture, as just in any culture, you know, I don't think I've seen a maybe like from the cultures that I've known where women are first-class citizens.

00:14:53.940 --> 00:14:58.668
So I just try not to pay attention to that right.

00:14:59.669 --> 00:15:09.707
Yeah, I just wanted to highlight that because, um, I think your background a lot of people that are from america, from here, think that they are behind the eight ball.

00:15:09.707 --> 00:15:29.094
But I mean, you came to america, you migrated here and then you come from a, a place where it may be a little more difficult to break through, um, than it is here, as far as equal rights and being like you mentioned like first citizen and it's like, um, because there were so many barriers, you come here.

00:15:29.153 --> 00:15:30.255
I didn't speak any english.

00:15:30.255 --> 00:15:40.628
I talk about in my video, about how I saw white people for the first time, like in person, once I got out of the airport and I told my mom like look white people.

00:15:40.628 --> 00:15:42.111
You know the people on tv, you know.

00:15:42.111 --> 00:15:43.582
So that was very interesting to me.

00:15:43.582 --> 00:15:45.927
And then I saw, saw like two couples kissing.

00:15:45.927 --> 00:15:51.869
I was like, oh my God, because we come from a very conservative culture, so it's just a lot of culture shock.

00:15:51.869 --> 00:15:58.673
You know, knowing you know different language, different culture, so adapting to that, it was just, it was very interesting.

00:15:58.673 --> 00:16:00.341
It's definitely character building.

00:16:00.341 --> 00:16:11.796
I was looking at my yearbook from high school this morning and there was a lot of sweet notes from my teachers and the students, except one teacher.

00:16:11.796 --> 00:16:15.910
I don't know if it's considered sweet, but I was like what did I put this man through?

00:16:15.910 --> 00:16:18.385
He was like Samaya.

00:16:18.385 --> 00:16:19.850
It's been interesting.

00:16:19.850 --> 00:16:23.609
I don't know if I will say I'll miss you, but I'll always remember you.

00:16:23.629 --> 00:16:27.347
I was like Wow, that's honesty.

00:16:28.341 --> 00:16:29.740
That is honesty I was like.

00:16:29.740 --> 00:16:37.274
But like, looking back and I'm like, with all the trauma that I had, clearly I was not an easy child or an easy student, you know.

00:16:37.274 --> 00:16:45.365
But in comparison to the other teachers that were like writing in the yearbook, they were like, oh, you've grown so much, I know you're going to do great things.

00:16:45.365 --> 00:16:48.676
Or like you bring smile to this room and it's just.

00:16:48.676 --> 00:16:50.801
It shows how different people perceive you.

00:16:50.801 --> 00:17:05.357
It also shows how, you know, some teachers had the ability to hold space for students and see them beyond their trauma, beyond them acting out, and there are some others that may not have the same ability, you know.

00:17:05.357 --> 00:17:29.632
So it's just kind of very interesting to see the growth from that troublemaker to now this businesswoman and running my own nonprofit and having the ability to really deeply understand people when they're going through these kind of things and see them, you know, just see them beyond what they're presenting, beyond the masks that they're having, and just be like I understand you, this is not who you are.

00:17:30.173 --> 00:17:43.314
I have greater empathy because I've been in that shoes where I was like I was bullied as a child because I was wearing this cultural dresses I mean, I did not fit in college was like where I felt like I said I fit in.

00:17:43.314 --> 00:17:47.548
Like the entire middle school, high school, I did not fit in, you know, I was bullied.

00:17:47.548 --> 00:17:57.009
So it was just kind of like it builds character, but it was just kind of on top of everything.

00:17:57.009 --> 00:17:59.317
It was a really harsh thing to have, but it's just like it builds greater empathy to be like.

00:17:59.317 --> 00:18:00.240
Oh, I was having like how can?

00:18:00.240 --> 00:18:04.284
How did people not notice Like what's going on with this child, did something happen?

00:18:04.284 --> 00:18:09.009
But it's OK, I'll be that adult now to do that for the other kids, you know, because I wasn't done for me.

00:18:09.009 --> 00:18:13.373
So that's also like a positive thing to look at, you know.

00:18:13.472 --> 00:18:13.772
I can.

00:18:13.772 --> 00:18:17.476
I can relate a thousand percent with you because I grew up.

00:18:17.476 --> 00:18:35.261
My childhood was very domestically, violently, filled with events and anything from having to call the police because I'm listening to my mom get beat in the next room to trying to run away myself and I was.

00:18:35.261 --> 00:18:38.832
I was kicked around a lot and I was moved to different schools quite a bit.

00:18:38.832 --> 00:18:42.369
Growing up I had to constantly make good, you know, new friends.

00:18:42.369 --> 00:18:46.991
I had opportunities to reinvent myself every time I moved.

00:18:47.760 --> 00:18:57.900
If I knew I was kind of being, you know, a pain in the ass at one school, I'd go to the next school and try to focus on studying and getting better because I started maturing.

00:18:57.900 --> 00:19:00.489
But I struggled.

00:19:00.489 --> 00:19:04.507
I spent nine years up until my freshman year.

00:19:04.507 --> 00:19:14.012
From first grade to freshman year I was in special ed and I finally got embarrassed and tired of it and I tested out of it.

00:19:14.012 --> 00:19:20.012
I was so fortunate to test out of it and I was told by my guidance counselor that I wasn't college material.

00:19:20.012 --> 00:19:34.362
They wouldn't allow me to take college classes my junior year so I can identify like when you have a broken home and you have trauma growing up, it's hard to focus at school and, um, a lot of teachers don't see that.

00:19:34.382 --> 00:19:44.525
All I see is this shithead kid that's like showing up every day and is a pain in the ass, but like, at the end of the day, you don't know that, that kid didn't get any sleep last night and that's it.

00:19:44.525 --> 00:19:45.606
That's a whole nother side to it.

00:19:45.606 --> 00:19:48.732
So I identify with with what you're saying and I also.

00:19:48.732 --> 00:19:52.106
For folks out there that are listening to you for the first time, this is important too.

00:19:52.106 --> 00:19:54.401
Didn't you serve in the military?

00:19:55.281 --> 00:19:59.269
I did for a few years in the army yeah, so I did.

00:19:59.329 --> 00:20:04.023
I was culinary specialist after college yeah, because they came to the high school.

00:20:04.023 --> 00:20:06.968
I was like, no, what do you think?

00:20:06.968 --> 00:20:07.589
No way.

00:20:07.589 --> 00:20:17.542
And then the first semester I was walking by and they were like join the National Guard.

00:20:17.542 --> 00:20:18.605
And I wanted my freedom so badly.

00:20:18.605 --> 00:20:20.250
I don't like people telling me what to do.

00:20:20.250 --> 00:20:21.874
I was like I need to take control of my own life.

00:20:21.874 --> 00:20:24.079
So I was like, all right, I'm going to go.

00:20:25.299 --> 00:20:26.885
I ended up joining the active duty and, yeah, it was first semester.

00:20:26.885 --> 00:20:28.813
I didn't even finish the first semester I was like get me out of here.

00:20:28.813 --> 00:20:32.326
I want freedom, I want independence and, you know, a chance to serve the country.

00:20:32.326 --> 00:20:38.073
But once I actually got into basic and trade, that's when I was like, ooh, you know service and country.

00:20:38.073 --> 00:20:44.748
I really like this purpose of having this.

00:20:44.748 --> 00:20:46.711
Yeah, I did.

00:20:46.730 --> 00:20:47.612
You know what's so crazy?

00:20:47.612 --> 00:20:59.386
Before I left one of my brothers actually I need to thank him because I didn't think I did he was like you're a woman, you're not going to make it in the military.

00:20:59.386 --> 00:21:02.075
I was like, screw you.

00:21:02.075 --> 00:21:03.464
I was like, okay, whatever.

00:21:03.464 --> 00:21:14.170
And then I hung up the phone call and then we were having like we were doing the under fire training and then, like the weapon, I was supposed to put it behind your back.

00:21:14.170 --> 00:21:23.020
I put it in front of my face, I smell, and then it was just like hitting me in my face and we were like crawling and the guy was like you know, do you want to give up?

00:21:23.020 --> 00:21:25.662
And then, like, all I could hear was like you're not going to make it.

00:21:25.662 --> 00:21:27.982
I was like prove him right.

00:21:28.042 --> 00:21:29.222
I was like I don't think so.

00:21:29.222 --> 00:21:38.646
I was like hit me with that rifle, you know, and I made it and it was so funny, or like anytime I'm like oh, I can't do this anymore and think of like oh, there was like a mountain.

00:21:38.646 --> 00:21:41.008
I'm like should they're going to?

00:21:41.008 --> 00:21:42.627
So they could be like no, you can't make it.

00:21:42.627 --> 00:21:44.068
I was like, oh, I don't think so.

00:21:44.068 --> 00:21:50.391
So like just kind of grit and like anger and be like, oh, so, like, just like you told me I can't do it.

00:21:50.391 --> 00:21:52.090
Now I definitely have to do it.

00:21:52.090 --> 00:21:56.692
It just made me, like you know, go through basic, go through the army.

00:21:56.692 --> 00:21:57.553
So thank you.

00:21:57.553 --> 00:21:59.713
You know, bro, that was I needed that.

00:21:59.713 --> 00:22:02.875
So I appreciate you saying that.

00:22:02.875 --> 00:22:03.855
That was really good for me.

00:22:03.855 --> 00:22:07.616
So, yeah, I should call him and thank him actually, because that made it.

00:22:07.616 --> 00:22:08.616
That was good.

00:22:09.257 --> 00:22:13.118
Sometimes the naysayers can be your highest motivation, right.

00:22:14.480 --> 00:22:22.244
I need that, I need the naysayers because something in my brain flips and I get this, will I get this power?

00:22:22.244 --> 00:22:28.085
I don't know where it comes from, and then I'll just make it happen, but I have to care about the cause.

00:22:28.085 --> 00:22:35.000
You know, at that time I cared about my livelihood, my independence, my service, and it just it turned something and I was just like I just had to do it.

00:22:35.000 --> 00:22:36.263
It's like the power of the mind.

00:22:36.263 --> 00:22:44.005
No, I appreciate naysayers because they keep me, you know, on my toes and I elevate my game and I do the best I can be.

00:22:44.005 --> 00:22:46.931
So thank you, naysayers, because you're making me do better.

00:22:47.191 --> 00:22:50.917
So, yeah, there it is I appreciate them, haters.

00:22:50.917 --> 00:22:58.134
Yeah, keep them coming yeah, yeah, thank you, haters.

00:22:58.134 --> 00:23:06.037
No, I, um, I want to get back to talk about your nonprofit uh, the core mission pillars of the nonprofit organization.

00:23:06.037 --> 00:23:07.560
Would you mind talking about that?

00:23:08.362 --> 00:23:17.767
Yeah, so we have about 12, but one of them is like so I'm going to give you like the maybe three that we really use.

00:23:17.767 --> 00:23:20.652
Sustenance comes from the creator, not people.

00:23:20.652 --> 00:23:46.266
This one's very, very important to me because as a woman, you know, I find myself in situations with powerful people where you know you're like asked to compromise your values to get where you need to be, but then I have to step back and I'll be like you know, the money doesn't come from you, you're just a vessel, a means for it.

00:23:46.266 --> 00:23:49.541
The resources do not come from you, like God will provide us.

00:23:49.541 --> 00:23:53.096
I just get into my prayer man, I pray and he, he loves me.

00:23:53.096 --> 00:23:57.234
I always joke and I say I'm God's favorite Cause he doesn't even make you wait like 24 hours.

00:23:57.234 --> 00:24:00.318
There's always something comes up and I get help.

00:24:01.320 --> 00:24:02.001
But it allows me.

00:24:02.001 --> 00:24:06.868
It allows me to stand by my values and then it allows me to not people put.

00:24:06.868 --> 00:24:16.547
Not put people on a pedestal, because I'm like you're just a human being, you know, and like my bosses, I'm like okay, I respect you, but you're not in charge of my livelihood.

00:24:16.547 --> 00:24:23.538
So if I leave, I can leave, because everything that's meant for me is written, so you're not in control of it, so it doesn't allow people to control me.

00:24:23.538 --> 00:24:26.986
Like I'm in charge of my own life and it's just I can.

00:24:26.986 --> 00:24:27.955
I can walk away.

00:24:27.955 --> 00:24:32.145
I've walked away from money opportunities even when I needed it the most.

00:24:32.145 --> 00:24:36.061
I was just like I'm trusting you, please, you know, and he always comes through.

00:24:36.061 --> 00:24:56.385
But it's just kind of like it creates this kind of confidence and and like charm and charisma, that and light, once you don't give people the power to be like, oh, if I, if I don't do this job, if I don't do this favor, if I don't do what they say, like I don't know what I'm going to do, I'm going to be out of a job, I'm going to be out of a home.

00:24:56.807 --> 00:25:00.281
But there's like that's also where like there's always another option, go find it.

00:25:00.281 --> 00:25:02.147
Like value comes in.

00:25:02.147 --> 00:25:12.346
I just there's always other opportunities, I just don't let people control me and it's just kind of like so people think as that, as ego or like standoffish.

00:25:12.346 --> 00:25:13.268
I'm like no, it's not.

00:25:13.268 --> 00:25:19.198
It's like I respect you and either you're going to do this you know, deal, because we have mutual respect with each other or you're not.

00:25:19.198 --> 00:25:22.346
But I'm not going to beg you because either you do it or you don't.

00:25:22.346 --> 00:25:23.476
It's fine if you don't.

00:25:23.476 --> 00:25:26.680
If you decide not to do it, okay, and they're just like that's it.

00:25:26.680 --> 00:25:27.221
I'm like that's it.

00:25:27.221 --> 00:25:40.646
And so the only way I define ego is as long as I'm not thinking that you know I'm not giving, uh, god, like as long as I'm giving God credit, it's not ego, that's it.

00:25:40.646 --> 00:25:42.557
That's how I look at it, no matter how people think of it.

00:25:42.979 --> 00:25:49.638
And the other one is like embrace the suck that's the army, military kind of it's going to be really sucky.

00:25:49.638 --> 00:25:54.175
It's not always sunshine and rainbow and you're going to get hit in the face.

00:25:54.175 --> 00:26:01.277
People will, you know, undermine you and will not treat you right, and the world is an unfair place.

00:26:01.277 --> 00:26:07.808
And you're just going to be like, okay, this sucks and what else can I do about it, and then you'll find another way, it'll be fine.

00:26:07.808 --> 00:26:09.833
It's like, whatever, you know, we're going to go.

00:26:09.833 --> 00:26:24.974
And then the other one is like be willing to suffer Because, like when I'm telling people with my organization, what makes us different is like my organization helps the people who want to help themselves, you know.

00:26:24.974 --> 00:26:29.844
So if you feel like you're, like I'm going to be in this victim mode and I'm not going to do anything for myself.

00:26:29.844 --> 00:26:36.244
Woe is me, but I'm like, okay, but when you're ready, you know, give me one second Like.

00:26:36.244 --> 00:26:43.097
If you're saying, hey, woe is me and nothing like you know this, the world, like the world happened to me I'm going to be like, okay.

00:26:43.097 --> 00:27:01.752
But when you're ready to say I'm going to take charge of my own life you know, these people are not going to control my life I can make you know, I can take, you know, charge of my own destiny Then we will be ready for you with the tools, with the financial assistance, with the partners, to be able to help you.

00:27:01.752 --> 00:27:03.596
We'll be there for you.

00:27:03.616 --> 00:27:09.023
This is for people, survivors, who are ready to take charge of their own life, who are ready to take charge of their own life, who are willing to suffer for it.

00:27:09.023 --> 00:27:15.080
Because when you're speaking up, when you're daring to say this person did this to me, it does.

00:27:15.080 --> 00:27:21.140
It takes risk, it could risk your life, it could risk your future, it could risk your career.

00:27:21.140 --> 00:27:24.056
This is for people who are willing to take the risk to be like.

00:27:24.056 --> 00:27:27.645
You know, these people are not in charge and I'm in charge.

00:27:27.645 --> 00:27:31.520
I could do it like, I can make this happen and, of course, we want them to do it.

00:27:31.520 --> 00:27:36.386
We want to make sure that they're in a safe space to be able to do these things and we can help them get to that place.

00:27:36.386 --> 00:27:44.499
But we want them to have that mindset they can save themselves and that suffering is part of the process to get to where you need to be.

00:27:44.499 --> 00:27:48.784
So those are like key values that we have, pillars.

00:27:50.405 --> 00:28:01.502
All very military-related pillars, right, because that's kind of the base of your foundation when you, I guess, joined adulthood.

00:28:01.502 --> 00:28:24.506
At a young age, you joined the military and probably a very eye-opening experience for you and I want to ask you this question because I'm not sure but have you, have you spoken to or experienced like we've been talking about women specifically but has any men talked about military sexual trauma before to you?

00:28:25.307 --> 00:28:27.289
No, unfortunately not.

00:28:27.289 --> 00:28:32.722
They talked to me about like civilian life experiences, but they have not.

00:28:32.722 --> 00:28:39.688
You know, I'm glad you asked that question because when I went to SHARP and SARP to talk to them about this they're like we also serve men.

00:28:39.688 --> 00:28:48.936
So because you're only serving women and children, you know that might be in conflict, because then you're not solving all of our demographics.

00:28:48.936 --> 00:28:53.190
Don't get me wrong, I love men, I respect men.

00:28:53.190 --> 00:28:58.122
It's just our organization only serves women and children, male or female, it doesn't matter.

00:28:58.122 --> 00:29:04.443
So I have not had men come to me and say this has, because you know we're at the beginning of our journey.

00:29:04.443 --> 00:29:15.500
They might come and then, if they do, then we'll refer them to partner organizations who can handle these kind of uh cases, you know, because everybody deserves help.

00:29:15.500 --> 00:29:23.546
It's just everybody has to do within their own ability and within their own mission, organizational mission yeah, and I could see some people criticizing that.

00:29:24.086 --> 00:29:39.767
Um, but, like you just mentioned, you have to stay within your own wheelhouse with what you understand so do it right right like it would be hard for you to identify, possibly on what that would be like for for a male.

00:29:39.767 --> 00:29:48.749
Um one of my first episodes I was talking to my dad and he told me a story about when he was a drill sergeant and this was back in like 1978.

00:29:48.749 --> 00:29:59.203
And when he was a drill sergeant um one male, um soldier I don't know, is that the right term Soldier?

00:29:59.364 --> 00:30:00.006
Yeah, soldier.

00:30:02.000 --> 00:30:07.039
And I'm just thinking I'm getting confused with Marines, because Marines they call them candidates or whatever.

00:30:07.059 --> 00:30:09.446
Army soldier, yeah, soldier.

00:30:09.615 --> 00:30:19.714
I assume you're a soldier when you're in basic training, but it was an army private in training or whatever you want to call it had sodomized another male, and this is back in 1978.

00:30:19.714 --> 00:30:23.224
And I just it probably doesn't happen.

00:30:23.224 --> 00:30:25.756
It obviously doesn't happen as much as you know men to women.

00:30:25.756 --> 00:30:26.436
It probably doesn't happen.

00:30:26.436 --> 00:30:27.857
It obviously doesn't happen as much as you know, men to women.

00:30:27.857 --> 00:30:37.644
But I would imagine there's specific groups out there that would better be able to define and understand people men that have gone through that before.

00:30:37.644 --> 00:30:48.530
So that makes sense that you're staying within your lane, within your wheelhouse, with what you understand and focused on the community that you mostly identify with.

00:30:48.530 --> 00:30:59.157
So I just wanted to throw it out there because while you were talking I was thinking about the people that you serve.

00:30:59.157 --> 00:31:02.247
But can you talk about specifics on what type of support systems or services that you currently offer?

00:31:03.009 --> 00:31:08.301
So before we get to that, I want to just add to the last thing about men Most people who are criticizing.

00:31:08.301 --> 00:31:11.769
If you want that organization, so bad, go create it yourself.

00:31:11.769 --> 00:31:17.227
You know like people criticize and I'm like I want to change for myself and the community.

00:31:17.227 --> 00:31:21.448
I've created the organization You're in the sideline criticizing me.

00:31:21.970 --> 00:31:23.576
Get up, I can refer you.

00:31:23.576 --> 00:31:24.357
Let me know how to go.

00:31:24.357 --> 00:31:25.902
We're under a core foundation.

00:31:25.902 --> 00:31:27.425
They're fiscally responsible for us.

00:31:27.425 --> 00:31:31.365
You can go open a cause with them and they're more than happy to help you, you know.

00:31:31.365 --> 00:31:34.064
So it's just like don't criticize from the sidelines.

00:31:34.064 --> 00:31:39.448
Go out and do the work yourself, you know, and do the fight for the causes you're passionate about.

00:31:39.448 --> 00:31:41.477
So it doesn't mean that we don't want to help men.

00:31:41.477 --> 00:31:47.686
We're going to refer them to the right people, but this is what we, this is the causes that we are passionate about, and we're doing something about it.

00:31:47.686 --> 00:31:49.910
You also get up, do something about it.

00:31:50.269 --> 00:31:56.903
Right, but it's so much easier to criticize and like, just type stuff into the internet and be a keyboard warrior, you know what I mean?

00:31:56.903 --> 00:31:58.693
Like it's so much easier.

00:31:58.693 --> 00:32:05.901
It's so much easier to like talk about something else versus you getting off your butt and creating something else, and that's just.

00:32:05.901 --> 00:32:06.983
That's just the way the world is.

00:32:06.983 --> 00:32:07.987
That's just the way it is.

00:32:08.375 --> 00:32:10.343
And that's why not everybody's opinion matters.

00:32:10.343 --> 00:32:21.701
Something said a, bernie Brown says those who are um, I'm bangling this quote but the people who matter are the ones with you in the arena, not like in the sidelines.

00:32:21.701 --> 00:32:29.407
Those are the people who are whose opinion matters, and you should take into consideration, not people in the stage booing or woohooing.

00:32:29.407 --> 00:32:39.029
Now, if you're in the arena with me and we're working together and you're telling me something, then your opinion is valuable because you're doing something about it.

00:32:39.029 --> 00:32:40.539
Then I'll take your opinion.

00:32:40.539 --> 00:32:44.125
But I can't take everybody's opinion, especially if you're not doing anything about it.

00:32:44.125 --> 00:32:45.862
I'm like go do something productive.

00:32:45.862 --> 00:32:48.059
You know everybody has free will.

00:32:48.059 --> 00:32:52.018
Go do something about it, you know, and just keep it out of my comment section.

00:32:52.239 --> 00:32:52.760
Yeah, I could.

00:32:52.760 --> 00:32:57.939
I could go down that rabbit hole so much, because that extends to even family and close friends.

00:32:57.939 --> 00:33:06.520
Sometimes they don't understand what it is you're doing, but as long as you know what you're doing, that all that really matters.

00:33:07.182 --> 00:33:08.523
And then the services.

00:33:08.523 --> 00:33:09.385
What was that?

00:33:09.967 --> 00:33:14.041
yeah, so the telling to that question was talking about the specific services or the support systems.

00:33:14.041 --> 00:33:16.911
That, uh, that you offer thank you, kp.

00:33:16.931 --> 00:33:26.724
Yes, the services that we want to offer is because our charity kickoff we have two kickoffs the august 20th gala and september 29th golf tournament, which we'll talk about later.

00:33:26.724 --> 00:33:30.825
The services we want to offer is for active duty women.

00:33:30.825 --> 00:33:49.288
We want to provide them civilian lawyers who could help them pro bono, which will pay for the lawyers, because when you accuse somebody, like we mentioned, of sexual assault, rape or domestic violence, the walls of the military can close in on you, you can lose rank and you could just be you, you know this black sheep of the military.

00:33:49.288 --> 00:33:53.604
So we want them, we want us to be their first line of defense.

00:33:53.604 --> 00:33:56.237
Where they're like this happened to me, what do I do?

00:33:56.237 --> 00:33:59.003
And then we connect them with a military lawyer.

00:33:59.003 --> 00:34:24.918
We'll connect them with our partners you know mental health specialists, but we'll connect them with the civilian lawyers who are familiar with the UCMJ and then let them, you know, walk them through what they need to do, what the right thing is, so that they could avoid making mistakes, so they don't find themselves in a position where, you know, because the military is the judge, jury and executioner, because they have their own, you know, they have their own system and we want these women to be protected.

00:34:24.998 --> 00:34:26.659
So one of the services is the lawyers.

00:34:26.659 --> 00:34:31.266
And then for domestic violence and for the child.

00:34:31.266 --> 00:34:35.871
For the children is you know the special, the mental health help they need.

00:34:35.871 --> 00:34:45.284
And for the domestic violence, let's say you know the mother and the child are both dealing with domestic violence or sexual trauma and the woman is like ready to move with her kid.

00:34:45.284 --> 00:34:53.887
We'll be like, ok, we're going to help you pay subsidies three to six months for childcare and we're going to help you pay your utility bills.

00:34:53.887 --> 00:34:58.909
We're going to connect you with this mental health person and thankfully, if they are, you know, military and veterans, we have Act Now education.

00:34:58.909 --> 00:35:02.998
We could be like these people provide you resources and education and jobs.

00:35:02.998 --> 00:35:05.101
So we'll connect them with the people they need to do.

00:35:05.101 --> 00:35:13.510
But the important thing about our organization is that we provide financial help and we don't pay it directly to the individual.

00:35:13.510 --> 00:35:14.878
We pay it to the organizations.

00:35:14.878 --> 00:35:15.942
That is helping them, yeah.

00:35:16.001 --> 00:35:46.159
And I'm so glad that you mentioned Act Now Education, because you've been an instrumental figure in Act Now Education with helping produce the newsletter, and I think it's important for us out there to reach out and network but have those resources, because now, samaya, you, you have the contacts, so if your folks need help you can, you know directly where to go, how to get there, and you're not just throwing them like an internet link and saying click on this and figure it out.

00:35:46.159 --> 00:35:50.244
I mean, you're intimately involved in that and I love that part about you.

00:35:50.244 --> 00:36:04.034
We talked about that a few months ago and you've been absolutely, as they say, leaning forward in the foxhole with heading off, you know, at real community help and that's absolutely amazing.

00:36:05.416 --> 00:36:06.797
That's absolutely amazing, thank you.

00:36:06.797 --> 00:36:12.902
Thank you for the referral for me to work with ACNA Education.

00:36:12.902 --> 00:36:14.884
I love volunteering for them.

00:36:14.884 --> 00:36:23.632
They do great work for the community, so it's really good to have a yeah, because they're all volunteers.

00:36:32.335 --> 00:36:34.552
So, for the amount of work they do and the dedication, just they motivate me to do more.

00:36:34.552 --> 00:36:34.954
So it's really nice.

00:36:34.954 --> 00:36:35.983
I didn't want to give you time to thank me for that, because it's really not me, it's you, um.

00:36:35.983 --> 00:36:38.507
At the end of the day, I've recommended things to people before and they just simply don't listen.

00:36:38.507 --> 00:36:52.831
The fact is is that you are like it's on you 100 percent, um, you've actually been been a real instrumental gear in the entire machine of what we've been doing with Agno Education.

00:36:52.851 --> 00:36:54.454
Thank, you very much.

00:36:55.297 --> 00:37:00.101
I understand that you have a couple of events coming up as you prep for the charity kickoff.

00:37:00.101 --> 00:37:01.364
What successes have you had so far?

00:37:01.364 --> 00:37:04.510
Oh my goodness, what successes have you had so far?

00:37:08.445 --> 00:37:16.541
Oh, my goodness, this organization.

00:37:16.541 --> 00:37:17.184
I was like this idea.

00:37:17.184 --> 00:37:25.099
I've been having this idea for years but I put it to action this April and we've got about six big corporate partnerships, seven local business.

00:37:25.099 --> 00:37:32.248
The seventh one is seven total big partnerships that we're having where they're sponsoring our foursomes for the golf tournament, the gala.

00:37:32.248 --> 00:37:36.364
We already got like a few sponsors and they're just, they're quick, they were just like.

00:37:36.364 --> 00:37:43.217
They're like yeah, I'm in and it's just kind of like the foursomes, a thousand dollars, it's not, you know that's, it's affordable, it's affordable, reasonably priced.

00:37:43.980 --> 00:37:47.226
Um, to other people's opinion, but you know it's not, it's not just.

00:37:47.226 --> 00:37:49.699
You know it's hard, hard earned.

00:37:49.699 --> 00:37:52.547
You know income, that people don't just throw their money and time.

00:37:52.547 --> 00:37:58.958
So the fact that they believe in me, they believe in this mission, as soon as they hear it they're like yeah, what do I know?

00:37:58.958 --> 00:37:59.559
Like, what do I do?

00:37:59.559 --> 00:38:00.762
What can I do to help you?

00:38:00.762 --> 00:38:15.963
So they just sign up and then it's so crazy because they're just so supportive and I feel like I'm constant state of flow, like I love my company, like Henex, and it's like I've had a lot of hurdles with it.

00:38:15.963 --> 00:38:26.521
But I started Rise Above, you know, preparing for this kickoff in April and I've never seen so much support Everything just flows like water, like the river in Egypt.

00:38:26.521 --> 00:38:30.027
Support Everything just flows like water, like the river in Egypt, and it's so.

00:38:30.027 --> 00:38:43.394
It feels so, so easy and it makes me recognize how good people are and as much as backlash I receive from my community for talking about this publicly and doing this, blah, blah, blah.

00:38:43.394 --> 00:38:53.039
The amount of support I'm getting it's out of this world like big corporation companies, businesses, military, like it's crazy and it's just.

00:38:53.545 --> 00:39:00.027
I think the biggest success, more than the money and the sponsorship, is just a renewed faith in humanity.

00:39:00.027 --> 00:39:03.222
There's so many people willing to fight this evil.

00:39:03.222 --> 00:39:20.177
There's so many people who are kind, who are passionate, but it's just kind of like it shows you, wow, like people are, you know, can be this beautiful, gorgeous, successful, but then they also have their own story they want to share and they also feel seen and it's just.

00:39:20.177 --> 00:39:24.757
I've seen so many people where they're like they feel seen, they want to be a part of it.

00:39:24.757 --> 00:39:26.561
I've never seen something like this.

00:39:26.561 --> 00:39:30.409
It's just, it's people from different backgrounds.

00:39:30.409 --> 00:39:32.382
I never felt more connected.

00:39:32.382 --> 00:39:38.295
I never felt more successful, like people-wise.

00:39:39.498 --> 00:39:43.467
It feels everything is coming so easy.

00:39:43.467 --> 00:39:47.302
It's not effortless, but it feels easy.

00:39:47.302 --> 00:39:49.248
It feels like this is what I'm supposed to do.

00:39:49.248 --> 00:39:53.228
It feels very successful because it brings people together.

00:39:53.228 --> 00:39:56.518
It's like hope, survivors, like you're not alone.

00:39:56.518 --> 00:40:06.260
Don't listen to the people who are on your ears, the negative ones, making you think like it's your fault, because it's not, you know you.

00:40:06.260 --> 00:40:10.106
Just they don't want you to be powerful and passionate and take charge of your own life.

00:40:10.106 --> 00:40:14.016
And yeah, and just other times they're just.

00:40:14.016 --> 00:40:20.826
They're scared too, you know, because that they have to face the fact that they were negligent yeah so it's just, it's the people.

00:40:20.985 --> 00:40:25.400
That was a successful part, how it brought people together and continues to bring people together.

00:40:26.384 --> 00:40:27.706
Life be that way, man.

00:40:27.706 --> 00:40:39.588
Like when people see other people doing things that's foreign to them and they're glowing up and moving up and making progress.

00:40:39.588 --> 00:40:42.161
I don't know what it is, man.

00:40:42.161 --> 00:40:50.987
I feel like other people can just be become haters, like even some of your closest friends and family, people you would not even suspect.

00:40:50.987 --> 00:40:56.414
And I want to comment on what you mentioned.

00:40:56.695 --> 00:41:09.775
You know, the product that you see today isn't necessarily, isn't necessarily, something that was beautiful once before, isn't necessarily something that was beautiful once before.

00:41:09.775 --> 00:41:16.889
I mean, talk about your childhood and the trauma that you dealt with growing up versus the powerful, beautiful entrepreneur woman that you are today.

00:41:16.889 --> 00:41:18.782
Life wasn't always like this.

00:41:18.782 --> 00:41:22.184
It wasn't always this beautiful dress and things like that.

00:41:22.184 --> 00:41:29.760
Even for me, people see what I'm doing and they think, they assume, that I had a great life growing up and it wasn't terrible.

00:41:29.760 --> 00:41:32.447
But I had strong points and it's very weak points.

00:41:32.447 --> 00:41:39.288
Um, you know, going to war and all these things that I had to go through, um, it hasn't been easy.

00:41:39.288 --> 00:41:39.856
It's.

00:41:39.856 --> 00:41:40.096
It's.

00:41:40.096 --> 00:41:43.403
It's been a lot of resiliency, um, and it's.

00:41:43.403 --> 00:41:56.684
I think it's beautiful that that, that you have seen that and witnessed that through the stories that you have encountered on this journey of having this nonprofit, and I think that just underlines that so much.

00:41:56.684 --> 00:42:05.550
How do you go about identifying and recruiting individuals for mentorship or any of the support programs that you have?

00:42:06.916 --> 00:42:11.135
You mean, like, the people who are going to help, or the people like in my committee that's making this happen.

00:42:11.478 --> 00:42:14.306
I think it's important to talk about the people that are helping you out.

00:42:14.306 --> 00:42:15.800
How do you find your circle?

00:42:15.800 --> 00:42:20.036
Because it's you know, you're only as strong as the people next to you, right?

00:42:21.737 --> 00:42:21.936
Yes.

00:42:21.936 --> 00:42:24.338
So it has its trials and tribulation.

00:42:24.338 --> 00:42:45.233
So some of them they find me, others I find, and others they refer to me and you know some of them because they had a story of you know, you know, domestic violence, or or others are like, they want to be a part of it, where they want to help you know and be like you know what I want to be part of this change.

00:42:45.233 --> 00:42:56.668
You know and be like you know what I want to be part of this change, and some of them are, you know, just like, who appreciate the bold action that we're taking, and they're like, yeah, I want to be a part of that.

00:42:56.688 --> 00:42:58.148
So it's just a.

00:42:58.148 --> 00:43:02.134
It's a mix of survivors, allies, supporters.

00:43:02.134 --> 00:43:09.505
It's really like I have a really great team, you know, and they just, they just want they, they want to, they want to be a part of it.

00:43:09.505 --> 00:43:10.728
They want to do great things.

00:43:10.728 --> 00:43:13.177
They see we're doing great things and they're just like what can we do?

00:43:13.177 --> 00:43:15.443
And they're really hard workers.

00:43:15.443 --> 00:43:17.115
I wouldn't be able to do this without them.

00:43:17.115 --> 00:43:29.416
So it's very, yeah, they're it's a mix, it's a mix and uh, and I love it, I love my team I truly believe that intuition and I truly believe that things and people happen for a reason.

00:43:30.297 --> 00:43:45.820
Like even my connection with you started out with you taking advantage of a program that Act Now Education was offering, and I wanted you to share your story, and it's led to two additional podcasts.

00:43:45.820 --> 00:43:50.369
And it's led to you having your own business, your own international business.

00:43:50.369 --> 00:43:51.860
Let's talk about that right.

00:43:51.860 --> 00:43:54.163
And now you're starting this nonprofit.

00:43:54.163 --> 00:44:05.188
So you know, your circle just gets bigger and more quality the more you put yourself out there, and I do believe that things happen for a reason.

00:44:05.952 --> 00:44:11.865
Definitely, and then like the gala as well, like, uh, I just wanted to say some things about it.

00:44:11.925 --> 00:44:53.760
So the gala is going to be august 20th, wednesday, from 5 30 pm, at 8 to 8 30 pm at the tower club, tyson's, and so this gala is like specifically going to be you know, all the funds we raise is going to be for the active duty women and veterans that we have, and then for the people that are coming in like so they can expect to have, you know, food, drinks, enjoy themselves, good music, and then, because we have sponsorship opportunities, we're going to have, like people from different backgrounds, like businesses, government, military, so people you want your business to be highlighted.

00:44:53.961 --> 00:45:06.329
Then you get, you know, a banner for your business, you get a great company, you get great networking opportunity, all while supporting a cause that you know makes a profound impact on the lives of veterans, women and children and active duty members.

00:45:06.329 --> 00:45:24.472
So it's just kind of like a very it helps both of you, it helps our organization and then it also helps you, you know, with your, whatever business you're doing or or mission you're set on like, there's a perfect opportunity to mix and mingle with different backgrounds.

00:45:24.472 --> 00:45:25.596
So it's pretty exciting.

00:45:26.657 --> 00:45:32.867
Yeah, and so attendees can expect to do a lot of socializing, a lot of networking, at this event.

00:45:32.867 --> 00:45:34.108
You know why did you.

00:45:34.128 --> 00:45:35.170
We have speakers as well.

00:45:35.170 --> 00:45:36.940
We're going to have a few speakers as well.

00:45:36.940 --> 00:45:37.543
That's my plan.

00:45:37.543 --> 00:45:38.898
So maybe at least two, three.

00:45:38.918 --> 00:45:42.742
Okay, and you chose the Tower Club for this venue.

00:45:42.742 --> 00:45:46.043
What exactly does that setting symbolize?

00:45:47.175 --> 00:45:48.159
So the Tower Club.

00:45:48.159 --> 00:45:56.422
It's so amazing Because when I, they were my first sponsors for the golf tournament.

00:45:56.422 --> 00:46:05.487
So we have a general manager, dane, dane Scott, and I went up to him and I was like I want a meeting.

00:46:05.487 --> 00:46:09.884
And he was like, okay, I have an event coming up and I want to discuss it with you.

00:46:09.884 --> 00:46:12.199
He was like sure, and he was like very quick.

00:46:12.199 --> 00:46:15.041
And I was like this is what I'm trying to do.

00:46:15.041 --> 00:46:16.963
I'm trying to do this for the military community.

00:46:16.963 --> 00:46:22.844
This is a golf tournament and I want your sponsorship, just like that.

00:46:28.235 --> 00:46:35.719
You know, he just looked at me for a moment and he's like okay, and then he's like because and he was like he's like you know, the tower club is like really proud to support you know they're because it's a noble cause.

00:46:35.719 --> 00:46:46.601
They love the military community because there's a lot of active duty and retired you know members there and he feels like you know the sacrifice for they make for our freedom is great.

00:46:46.601 --> 00:46:47.224
So he's's just like.

00:46:47.224 --> 00:46:49.619
He's like I'm in, you know he decides to.

00:46:49.619 --> 00:46:51.545
He's like, yeah, I'm going to sponsor you.

00:46:51.914 --> 00:46:54.840
This is so crazy because literally my first sponsor.

00:46:54.840 --> 00:47:04.661
I'm just going to him and I'm like, yeah, I'm an under core foundation, our fiscal sponsor, and I have this mission and I want to help my military community and civilians, so I need your sponsorship.

00:47:04.661 --> 00:47:05.581
Like this is a big corporate.

00:47:05.581 --> 00:47:18.103
They've been in business for like I don't know more than 40, 40 years and I'm coming to him and I've been a member for like a year and a half and I'm like telling him my mission and he's like I'm in, I was like you're in, I'm just like, but I was like don't act.

00:47:18.103 --> 00:47:18.505
Surprised.

00:47:18.505 --> 00:47:36.880
I was like, oh, thank you, you know, and also it's elegant and classy, it's like business club and it's just it's first, it's like the people, second, it's like his belief in me and then just the area is really nice.

00:47:36.880 --> 00:47:42.844
I like I like to do you know, serve good causes while looking elegant and having fun.

00:47:43.405 --> 00:47:44.346
And where is that at?

00:47:44.346 --> 00:47:46.168
This is in Tyson's Corner.

00:47:47.047 --> 00:47:48.208
Okay, it's in DC area.

00:47:48.789 --> 00:47:52.992
Yeah, tyson's, I think the address is let me see, should we put it later or should we say something now?

00:47:54.476 --> 00:48:02.242
We can say something now for folks listening out there If you're from the DC, if you're from the DC area, Let me look at that yeah.

00:48:02.242 --> 00:48:10.349
It's so frustrating sometimes when I'm on Instagram or listen to a podcast and somebody calls out the name of somewhere and I'm like what city is that in?

00:48:10.349 --> 00:48:11.860
Is that even in my time zone?

00:48:12.543 --> 00:48:12.764
It is.

00:48:12.764 --> 00:48:15.021
Yes, it's not in your time zone.

00:48:15.021 --> 00:48:15.603
Here it is.

00:48:15.603 --> 00:48:27.443
The address is 8000 Tower Crescent Drive, suite 1700, vienna, virginia, and it's called the Tower Club Tysons and for members they can get it on the Invited app.

00:48:27.443 --> 00:48:38.697
For non-members, there's an Eventbrite link which I will send to you so you can share with your people with the Formation Nation, formation Nation, formation Nation.

00:48:38.739 --> 00:48:41.442
But you know what's so crazy about Dane?

00:48:41.442 --> 00:48:49.557
He's like so all my life I got this good because people undermining me and just kind of like I had to fight for everything.

00:48:49.557 --> 00:48:51.143
Nobody gave me anything.

00:48:51.143 --> 00:48:53.175
I just have to be like, I have to go and take it.

00:48:53.175 --> 00:48:53.597
You know.

00:48:53.597 --> 00:48:58.286
So with him he just he just believed in me.

00:48:58.286 --> 00:49:01.076
You know, he's just like like I believe in you.

00:49:01.076 --> 00:49:13.945
And here you go, like he, he believed in me, he didn't undermine me, he wasn't sexist, he wasn't because, mind you, he knows I'm a new golfer, like I started golfing a year and a half ago and I was like you know what?

00:49:13.985 --> 00:49:16.782
Golfing is open for everybody and I want a charity cause.

00:49:16.782 --> 00:49:19.960
So I want to do golf tournament because I can and nobody can tell me nothing.

00:49:19.960 --> 00:49:25.541
And then you know, I'm coming to him and tell him this is my cause and he's just like, yeah, I support you.

00:49:25.541 --> 00:49:26.405
And it's just like, wow, this is my cause.

00:49:26.405 --> 00:49:27.309
And he's just like, yeah, I support you.

00:49:27.309 --> 00:49:33.905
And it's just like, wow, this is really nice Because I'm a person who's like, literally like whether it's undermining, you know, bullying.

00:49:34.635 --> 00:49:39.166
I come from space and experiences where it's just, it's not easy, nothing is easy.

00:49:39.166 --> 00:49:45.684
And for him to just be like, yeah, I believe in you and to see, to be seen you know they say to be loved is to be seen.

00:49:45.684 --> 00:49:58.465
You know, or to be seen is to be loved it's just it feels like I felt seen and he just, you know, like he was just like, yeah, I believe in your mission and what you're going to do.

00:49:58.465 --> 00:50:09.469
I see who you are and it's just I felt like, I felt seen and he's just, he just believed in me and that that creates something, you know, that brings loyalty.

00:50:09.489 --> 00:50:10.152
A lot of confidence.

00:50:10.152 --> 00:50:11.860
A lot of confidence, too, right.

00:50:12.797 --> 00:50:17.244
Yeah, because they're saying, like the Tower Club is sponsoring the Rise Above Be Relentless Foundation.

00:50:17.244 --> 00:50:22.945
They're not just hosting the fundraiser, they're hosting the fundraiser and they're sponsoring the golf tournament, they're doing both.

00:50:22.945 --> 00:50:27.916
So it's like very, it's a lot of confidence and it's really inspiring.

00:50:27.916 --> 00:50:47.913
So it's like very, it's a lot of confidence and it's really inspiring and it's just kind of like my God, there is good people Like I don't have to jump through hoops for, you know, for somebody to be like, yeah, I believe in your cause, and to see my work, ethics and just my energy and my goals, and just to be like, yeah, I trust you, and it's just kind of like really glad to be a part of that.

00:50:47.913 --> 00:50:58.003
And I know he's going to like take this club in a really, really great direction because you know he's he goes for, he supports the underdog and I appreciate that.

00:50:58.264 --> 00:51:15.271
So those were I think, at the end of the day, the important part is you and the, and what I mean by that is you are trusted and your heart is in the right place because you are doing work for another nonprofit.

00:51:15.271 --> 00:51:21.807
You're very authentic and you can put a brand on anything but who's running it.

00:51:21.807 --> 00:51:24.625
I think that's the most important thing out there.

00:51:24.625 --> 00:51:38.030
I think that's the most important thing out there, and it sounds like you're on your way to building a very incredible, trusted community Because, like I mentioned earlier in the podcast, there's a lot of mistrust, especially with the MST space.

00:51:38.030 --> 00:51:52.119
Bringing back truth and honesty and authenticity is absolutely important, because I've seen too many folks out there in the last few years, just like you mentioned earlier the rage bait, the click bait, whatever you want to call it.

00:51:52.641 --> 00:51:53.505
Cancel culture.

00:51:54.155 --> 00:51:56.856
Cancel culture and it's like yo.

00:51:56.856 --> 00:52:00.820
Let's bring this back to serious conversation and stop looking for clicks.

00:52:00.820 --> 00:52:06.222
Let's really help people that need help and don't accuse people that have done absolutely nothing wrong.

00:52:06.222 --> 00:52:10.764
And that's what I really appreciate about your nonprofit.

00:52:10.764 --> 00:52:14.744
Now the proceeds for that gala where are they going specifically?

00:52:15.710 --> 00:52:18.226
So they're going to go specifically for the active duty and veteran woman.

00:52:18.226 --> 00:52:21.664
It's going to be specifically for the military.

00:52:21.664 --> 00:52:23.481
This gala is specifically for the military.

00:52:23.481 --> 00:52:37.965
The golf tournament is for both my non-proc for the military community and the civilian community, but the gala, specifically this one, is a military service gala.

00:52:38.967 --> 00:52:39.307
Got it.

00:52:39.307 --> 00:52:47.684
And for folks out there who can't attend the gala but they want to still support the cause, how can they do that?

00:52:48.137 --> 00:52:53.753
so the people who cannot attend the cause, the events they can still support by donating.

00:52:53.753 --> 00:52:58.398
We appreciate it and the sponsorship they can sponsor us.

00:52:58.398 --> 00:52:59.784
We'll put their company logo in there.

00:52:59.784 --> 00:53:00.820
You don't even have to show up.

00:53:00.820 --> 00:53:03.534
We share the events on social media.

00:53:03.534 --> 00:53:05.318
Do outreach on our behalf.

00:53:05.318 --> 00:53:09.416
Try to get as many veterans and military community to the gala and the tournament.

00:53:09.416 --> 00:53:10.018
We would love that.

00:53:10.059 --> 00:53:18.951
Just create social media buzz and you know, and just more than that, just maybe have this tough conversations with your family members.

00:53:18.951 --> 00:53:23.364
You know maybe there might be a lot of them who this happened to and they didn't come forward.

00:53:23.364 --> 00:53:36.385
But just let them know that you're going to be a listening ear and that you're not going to judge and that you know you're sorry that you weren't there.

00:53:36.385 --> 00:53:54.862
Because one of the things I want to make clear is like there are families and friends who, at the time, with all this, you know heinous things are happening, we're not there for you, Okay, but now they want they, they regret it, Right, and now they're saying, hey, I wish I would, I could have done something.

00:53:55.175 --> 00:54:01.382
And if you're a parent or a sibling or a friend saying, well, I wish I was there for this person, I made mistakes and you regret that.

00:54:01.382 --> 00:54:10.782
Now is your chance to be with these individuals, have these conversations, not shy away from them, and just be like I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, but I can be here for you now.

00:54:10.782 --> 00:54:17.800
So that's the only way to make it up for them, Just saying like I'm here for you, so that's something you could do for us.

00:54:17.800 --> 00:54:18.422
More than money.

00:54:18.422 --> 00:54:30.164
It's just be there for the people who need you and show them that you have their back and that you support them and feel free to donate at the same time as well.

00:54:33.382 --> 00:54:34.706
Let's also mention, too, the social media.

00:54:34.706 --> 00:54:43.009
I think sometimes just subscribing and adding yourself to Rise Above, Be Relentless, is important too.

00:54:43.009 --> 00:54:44.420
What social medias are you on?

00:54:45.114 --> 00:54:47.273
So I'm on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook.

00:54:47.273 --> 00:54:55.547
I'm going to have to add Facebook and then so we're Instagram, TikTok and LinkedIn as well.

00:54:55.547 --> 00:55:03.822
And yeah, just add, subscribe, engage with the content, share our posts and our stories.

00:55:03.822 --> 00:55:06.463
That would really help us go a little bit further.

00:55:06.463 --> 00:55:17.164
So we really appreciate you because we this is not my organization, it's our organization because this is something we're doing for society, so we need everybody to be involved in this cause.

00:55:18.416 --> 00:55:24.320
So, may, what do you think your long-term vision for the Rise Above Be Relentless Foundation is going to be over the next five to ten years?

00:55:25.681 --> 00:55:26.764
of course, international.

00:55:26.764 --> 00:55:29.628
You know me, kp, I don't do anything small.

00:55:29.628 --> 00:55:37.434
So right now we're in the dmv basis, in the dmv area, um, but anybody who needs our help, we're not going to deny them services.

00:55:37.434 --> 00:55:41.231
But you know, we want to go from, like the local area that we're in.

00:55:41.231 --> 00:55:43.297
We're going to go national and after that international.

00:55:43.297 --> 00:55:48.068
You know we might have like different subdivisions, but I want to make this.

00:55:48.068 --> 00:55:57.282
You know, eventually, yeah, we're dealing with, you know, assault, rape and domestic violence now, but down the line, you know, we might get into human trafficking.

00:55:57.442 --> 00:56:01.521
You know it's just kind of like I want to make changes on a global basis.

00:56:01.521 --> 00:56:05.969
I've always been a global child, you know, raising global kids.

00:56:05.969 --> 00:56:14.405
So I'm always my businesses and nonprofits are always going to be eventually going to end up being global, because it's not just the women that are in America that are dealing with this.

00:56:14.405 --> 00:56:19.726
It's women in Egypt, women in, you know, different parts of Africa and Asia.

00:56:19.726 --> 00:56:20.768
Like they need us.

00:56:20.768 --> 00:56:23.077
So we can do it if we have the ability.

00:56:23.077 --> 00:56:23.699
Like why not?

00:56:23.699 --> 00:56:26.342
This is a cool initiative.

00:56:27.003 --> 00:56:30.168
I need to underscore your background again, because you are from East Africa.

00:56:30.168 --> 00:56:34.496
You are a military veteran, you did work for CBP.

00:56:34.496 --> 00:56:46.833
So when you're talking about the trafficking part of it, I mean you had some insight into that during your time working with Custom Border Protection right during your time working with Custom Border Protection, right.

00:56:46.833 --> 00:56:50.583
How do?

00:56:50.367 --> 00:56:50.931
you stay grounded talking about such an emotionally charged issue?

00:56:51.275 --> 00:56:55.422
Okay, great question.

00:56:55.422 --> 00:57:04.820
So I did call back my therapist to go through this journey because it's like I'm talking about it publicly, it's in my face 24-7 7.

00:57:04.820 --> 00:57:07.681
I'm thinking about it all the time because I like I have to help this person.

00:57:07.681 --> 00:57:08.382
I have to do this.

00:57:08.382 --> 00:57:24.487
So a lot of prayers, a lot of meditation exercise I exercise at least four to six times a week um, friendships, uh, and just kind of like also putting in boundaries, because a lot of people are going to have unsolicited opinions.

00:57:25.436 --> 00:57:33.067
I had a guy from the community call me and says hey, I saw the video and I'm like and you know, and what do you want me to do with that information?

00:57:33.067 --> 00:57:35.434
He was just like oh, it's not good for our community.

00:57:35.434 --> 00:57:38.117
Like you know, people are going to think we have rapists here.

00:57:38.117 --> 00:57:38.818
I'm like we do.

00:57:38.818 --> 00:57:40.019
That's the whole point.

00:57:40.019 --> 00:57:52.052
You know, if you want us to be mediators, I'm like it already happened and I'm like this is not me doing a video to announce to people oh, I was assaulted.

00:57:52.052 --> 00:58:01.579
This is me showing courage, encouraging others to come forward and then creating an organization to help them.

00:58:01.579 --> 00:58:08.489
So I was like, if you're truly a Muslim person, like you said, god fearing person, then I would be surprised if you could stand behind me in this organization, actually provide help.

00:58:08.489 --> 00:58:11.501
And he was like, yeah, of course we're going to help.

00:58:11.902 --> 00:58:12.724
And then he's like I have to go.

00:58:12.724 --> 00:58:13.940
I'm like, ok, have a good day.

00:58:13.940 --> 00:58:17.318
Of course he didn't help and still talk to other people about it.

00:58:17.318 --> 00:58:18.159
But it's just.

00:58:18.159 --> 00:58:19.762
Those are the kind of people I'm just kind of like.

00:58:19.762 --> 00:58:25.429
I have to stand firm, stand grounded, and I'm just like either you help or you step out.

00:58:25.429 --> 00:58:29.958
You know, get out of my way, don't stand in my way.

00:58:29.958 --> 00:58:30.458
And then anger.

00:58:30.458 --> 00:58:38.971
Anger really helps, you know, whenever I'm like feeling like this, I'm like get angry, remember the mission, and I'm just like, all right, I'm back to, ready for the fight.

00:58:38.971 --> 00:58:40.436
And it helps, you know.

00:58:40.436 --> 00:58:43.222
So a lot of exercise, meditation, prayer, therapy.

00:58:43.222 --> 00:58:46.798
Friends, you need a community, you need a lot of community, social life.

00:58:46.798 --> 00:58:48.762
That's a must.

00:58:48.762 --> 00:58:53.728
It's a very heavy, it's very dark, it's very dark social life.

00:58:53.789 --> 00:58:54.231
What's that?

00:58:54.231 --> 00:58:54.894
No, I'm just kidding.

00:58:54.894 --> 00:59:04.664
For anyone out there that might, who may be struggling, what advice would you give them to start rising above and becoming relentless?

00:59:06.355 --> 00:59:06.615
Okay.

00:59:06.615 --> 00:59:08.079
So thank you for that question.

00:59:08.079 --> 00:59:14.682
Right now, if you're a survivor I like to say a survivor, not victim, because victim you're like somebody's victim.

00:59:14.682 --> 00:59:15.686
You're not somebody's victim?

00:59:15.686 --> 00:59:20.887
Okay, you survive, you thrive, you're an overcomer and you rise above the things that happen to you.

00:59:20.887 --> 00:59:26.420
So if you're a survivor, it could have happened today, it could happen yesterday, it could happen decades ago.

00:59:28.235 --> 00:59:31.300
Of course, the obvious feelings are something's wrong with me.

00:59:31.300 --> 00:59:33.563
I feel damaged, I'm unworthy.

00:59:33.563 --> 00:59:35.588
It's my fault, it's not.

00:59:35.588 --> 00:59:36.869
That's the first thing.

00:59:36.869 --> 00:59:37.737
Like it's hard to believe.

00:59:37.737 --> 00:59:49.918
But just keep telling your brain it's not and you might get suicidal thoughts, you might be, you know, end up in not a really good relationships, abusive relationships.

00:59:49.918 --> 01:00:02.780
I just need you to step back and think like, okay, I know this is what my brain is telling me and I'm taking all this blame in my head and I'm making everything my fault.

01:00:02.780 --> 01:00:05.858
These are the feelings and they're valid, but they're not true.

01:00:05.858 --> 01:00:16.385
I'm worthy just because I exist, you know, because we're here for a reason and no one person could determine our worth or that could determine our worth.

01:00:16.385 --> 01:00:19.858
And then I want you to get angry.

01:00:19.858 --> 01:00:25.896
Be angry, because that will keep you from spiraling into this depression and things like that.

01:00:26.496 --> 01:00:27.057
Be angry.

01:00:27.057 --> 01:00:35.463
Be angry so that you could be a force of change for yourself first, before you could be a force of change for other people, and be audacious.

01:00:35.463 --> 01:00:47.728
Be audacious because the people who are either the abusers, the perpetrators, the people who are supposed to protect you, who don't protect you, they're audacious, they're going to blame you, they're going to make you feel guilty.

01:00:47.728 --> 01:00:49.480
Where do they get that audacity from?

01:00:49.480 --> 01:00:50.543
Like I'm trying to understand.

01:00:50.543 --> 01:00:54.155
Like ask yourself I'm like they're in the wrong and they're making you feel guilty.

01:00:54.155 --> 01:01:00.460
Like be angry at that and then just be bold and just be be a bitch, like you know.

01:01:00.460 --> 01:01:03.824
Just be like I don't think so, excuse my language, say no back.

01:01:03.824 --> 01:01:05.485
Like just be like who do you think you are?

01:01:05.485 --> 01:01:08.327
Like make them feel the shame, not you, because you didn't do anything.

01:01:08.327 --> 01:01:10.509
You really did not do anything.

01:01:10.509 --> 01:01:15.251
So anger does keep you going, but just make sure you have, like, a good outlet.

01:01:15.251 --> 01:01:20.054
Be angry first and then get help.

01:01:20.974 --> 01:01:32.148
Reach out to me there's so many mental health resources and as soon as our charity kickoff, you know, because I didn't have a foundation for me when I was going through this, but I created a foundation for the next girl, for you, for the next child.

01:01:32.148 --> 01:01:34.317
So I'm here to be a listening ear.

01:01:34.317 --> 01:01:35.865
I'm here to support you whatever you need.

01:01:35.865 --> 01:01:37.896
The organization here is to support you whatever you need.

01:01:37.896 --> 01:01:41.601
So if you're scared to leave like a domestic violence situation, we're here.

01:01:41.601 --> 01:01:43.884
We're going to be the strength you need.

01:01:43.923 --> 01:01:50.277
Until you can give that strength to yourself, you have a community here who's not going to judge you, who's going to support you.

01:01:50.277 --> 01:01:51.400
We're here.

01:01:51.400 --> 01:01:55.079
We're going to be here so that you're protected and you're loved and you're cared for.

01:01:55.079 --> 01:01:57.166
You're not alone.

01:01:57.166 --> 01:02:02.721
Just know that you're worthy and nobody has the right to treat you in a terrible manner.

01:02:02.721 --> 01:02:07.429
Nobody has the right to take anything away from you that does not belong to them.

01:02:07.429 --> 01:02:18.505
And just remember they should be ashamed, be angry at that and that will give you anger as a very, very powerful emotion that will get you up from your bed and want to break things.

01:02:18.655 --> 01:02:21.224
I like to go to smash rooms, so go ahead and break things there.

01:02:21.224 --> 01:02:22.840
Just channel it out.

01:02:22.840 --> 01:02:24.818
But just you know you're not alone anymore.

01:02:24.818 --> 01:02:29.476
That's why this foundation is existing so that you don't feel like you're alone, you're not scared.

01:02:29.476 --> 01:02:33.516
If you're scared of leaving that abusive husband, you got help here because you're not alone.

01:02:33.516 --> 01:02:34.719
We're in your community.

01:02:34.719 --> 01:02:37.646
If you're scared of coming forward, we're here.

01:02:37.646 --> 01:02:38.456
You're not alone.

01:02:38.456 --> 01:02:39.396
You're not alone anymore.

01:02:39.396 --> 01:02:40.478
That's why we're here.

01:02:40.478 --> 01:02:42.041
So just remember that you're not alone.

01:02:42.041 --> 01:02:43.181
It's not your fault.

01:02:43.181 --> 01:02:50.010
Be angry and stand up for yourself and be audacious and be bossy and be bitchy.

01:02:50.010 --> 01:03:09.411
Do whatever you need to do legally to heal from this, to get yourself up from the floor and to stand up for yourself, because you have to save yourself, and then we'll help you get to where you need to be.

01:03:09.431 --> 01:03:10.094
That's what I would like to say.

01:03:12.161 --> 01:03:13.226
Samia, what's a smash room?

01:03:13.226 --> 01:03:16.269
That might be a.

01:03:16.269 --> 01:03:16.835
It's a rage.

01:03:16.835 --> 01:03:18.496
It's a smash room.

01:03:18.496 --> 01:03:19.257
Let me clarify so.

01:03:19.257 --> 01:03:20.378
It's not something dirty.

01:03:20.378 --> 01:03:24.344
People think something dirty Smash room is where you go.

01:03:24.344 --> 01:03:26.527
It's a rage room I should have.

01:03:27.027 --> 01:03:28.009
They have those over there.

01:03:28.590 --> 01:03:29.630
Yeah, we have rage rooms.

01:03:29.630 --> 01:03:48.362
So where you go, it's so funny you have like old computers, you get like just unused printers, you get things like household stuff, plates, and just get, get them up and just break them and then they give you like hammers to break it with them.

01:03:48.362 --> 01:03:54.527
They give you bats, like you get to like raging music or whatever music you want to listen to.

01:03:54.527 --> 01:03:55.228
That's a business.

01:03:55.228 --> 01:03:56.835
Oh, that's a whole business.

01:03:56.835 --> 01:03:58.398
People have a lot of anger.

01:03:58.398 --> 01:04:10.666
I'm trying to tell you, and it's so, so fun, and you just like picture the person you don't like like print it out, you know, picture, print out the abuser and put it in there and just feel like you're smashing them, like in that smash room, like in the rage room.

01:04:10.666 --> 01:04:11.949
You'll feel so much better.

01:04:11.949 --> 01:04:18.195
And if you can't afford that, get, like you know, kitchen plates and smash those outside, like you know.

01:04:18.195 --> 01:04:20.460
Those are really good ways of outlets.

01:04:21.521 --> 01:04:26.329
But there's so many, so many ways, so many ways to let this go, let it out of your system.

01:04:26.329 --> 01:04:35.760
And the other thing I want to tell them is like secrets held in the body, will you know, manifest in the body in a form of sickness.

01:04:35.760 --> 01:04:38.840
So when you hold the shame, when you hold the secrets.

01:04:38.840 --> 01:04:45.822
When you hide this trauma and do not say anything, you will probably feel neck pain, back pain, other issues.

01:04:45.822 --> 01:04:47.800
So let it out, so you could free yourself.

01:04:47.800 --> 01:04:49.204
First, let it out, that's the first step.

01:04:49.204 --> 01:04:58.068
Let it out, free yourself from it, because it's not your shame to carry, and then you will rise, you'll shine, you'll be this amazing person and the world is your oyster.

01:04:58.068 --> 01:04:58.574
Really.

01:04:58.894 --> 01:05:04.461
I really wasn't thinking smash room in that sense, but I wanted to, because not every area has that.

01:05:04.461 --> 01:05:06.105
I've never heard of that before.

01:05:06.105 --> 01:05:06.985
That's a real business.

01:05:06.985 --> 01:05:08.867
I mean it's a good idea.

01:05:08.867 --> 01:05:09.789
I mean it sounds cool.

01:05:09.789 --> 01:05:17.155
It reminds me of office space, that scene where they go out in the middle of the field and they destroy that printer, whatever it was.

01:05:17.155 --> 01:05:21.601
I mean that was such a clever scene, it was before its time.

01:05:21.601 --> 01:05:46.657
So, man, your passion and purpose and persistence is truly inspiring and I absolutely love the work that you're doing and I I really appreciate, um, like I mentioned before, the authenticity and the honesty that you're bringing back to this issue, because I think that's really important, um, these last few years, the things that we've gone through and the people that have been wrongly accused and the people that really needed help but haven't been heard.

01:05:46.657 --> 01:05:54.420
Just to round out the podcast Was there anything that I didn't mention on this show that you want to mention now before we finish off?

01:05:55.061 --> 01:05:58.121
Yeah, the golf tournament, so we mentioned that a little bit.

01:05:58.121 --> 01:06:00.929
The golf tournament is September 29th right.

01:06:01.454 --> 01:06:01.594
Okay.

01:06:01.675 --> 01:06:04.559
We got a lot of golfers so far, but we want a little bit more.

01:06:04.559 --> 01:06:05.500
So come join us.

01:06:05.500 --> 01:06:08.965
Sign up for a golf foursome so it's literally $2.50 per person.

01:06:08.965 --> 01:06:12.088
So bring your other three friends you know to come play with you.

01:06:12.088 --> 01:06:19.139
This is just a fun game it's not competitive and enjoy yourself there.

01:06:19.139 --> 01:06:24.309
And then, once you do a foursome, you get to sponsor your company logos, signs and everything.

01:06:24.309 --> 01:06:29.699
You get to network with really important and successful individuals.

01:06:29.699 --> 01:06:32.967
It's a really good opportunity to serve the military community.

01:06:32.967 --> 01:06:37.554
Just show up, sign up to volunteer.

01:06:37.554 --> 01:06:42.684
We would love to have you there and this is going to be at Belmont Country Club on Monday, september 29th.

01:06:43.867 --> 01:06:47.436
Cool, yeah, that sounds like.

01:06:47.436 --> 01:06:51.628
It sounds like when you could smash golf balls down the uh, down the fairway right yes.

01:06:51.648 --> 01:06:54.639
So golf you have to be like, like relaxed.

01:06:54.639 --> 01:06:55.981
You know what I noticed with golf?

01:06:55.981 --> 01:07:03.324
I was playing with someone that really irritated me and every time he made a comment I just I hit the hit the ball so hard.

01:07:03.324 --> 01:07:07.364
I've never hit it so well and it just went above the water and it went to the greens.

01:07:07.364 --> 01:07:08.760
I was like you know what?

01:07:08.760 --> 01:07:10.141
You should irritate me more often.

01:07:10.141 --> 01:07:12.143
So I noticed that was like one of my motivations.

01:07:12.143 --> 01:07:17.860
So if that works for you, bring someone that annoys you to the golf club and they will put you like in your best game.

01:07:17.860 --> 01:07:22.887
So yeah, and tennis, tennis is really good for anger issues.

01:07:22.887 --> 01:07:25.871
Just imagine people you don't like on these balls and you'll do fine.

01:07:28.597 --> 01:07:32.246
Sports and exercise can certainly be healthy, for sure, so healthy.

01:07:32.246 --> 01:07:38.963
We've been having some great weather, at least out here on the West Coast.

01:07:38.963 --> 01:07:40.681
I'm sure on the East Coast you have too right.

01:07:41.023 --> 01:07:50.902
Yes, and then the Belmont Country Club has, let me see, trying to see what they, let me get the address, like we said, for them specifically.

01:07:52.858 --> 01:07:56.121
I'd also like for you to send me all those links too, so I can put them at the bottom.

01:07:56.121 --> 01:08:18.216
So, if you're listening to this, scroll down to the show notes or the description, and all the links that we mentioned here will be available down there at the bottom so you can click on them and follow support, even on social media, or even join the gala or the golf tournament that's going on um there in the dc area as well it's going to be so fun.

01:08:18.256 --> 01:08:24.546
And then the address for the belmont is 19661 belmont, manor Lane, ashburn, virginia.

01:08:24.546 --> 01:08:26.369
It is so beautiful.

01:08:26.369 --> 01:08:31.166
That's why the foursomes are like a thousand bucks, because it's so gorgeous.

01:08:31.166 --> 01:08:35.018
It's like a lot of water, angry geese, like you know.

01:08:35.018 --> 01:08:37.659
Just gorgeous, just gorgeous view.

01:08:37.659 --> 01:08:39.680
You're going to have tons of fun.

01:08:39.795 --> 01:09:08.028
We're going to have food, we're going to enjoy ourselves, so it's going to be a fun time it sounds like it's a great time to get out with your friends and meet new people as well so one of the biggest challenges, or some of the biggest challenges that we face, running this non-profit is, um, like there's a lot of gatekeeping and competition and and like people feeling threatened that you're going to go in their territories.

01:09:08.028 --> 01:09:19.323
And my answer to that is you know, let's make this a collaborative event, you know, because what's mine will always be mine and what yours, what is yours, will always be yours, and no one could take that from the other person.

01:09:19.323 --> 01:09:20.918
There's plenty of opportunity.

01:09:20.918 --> 01:09:28.496
So let's just like, as women like, put each other's crown.

01:09:28.496 --> 01:09:29.518
You know we're gonna be fine.

01:09:29.518 --> 01:09:31.822
You know the mission should be the survivors, not our own self-interest and egos.

01:09:31.841 --> 01:09:44.664
And it's like, you know being like being an immigrant, being a black woman now that I wear the hijab, it's like it's, it's a lot of, you know, barriers of like what are you doing in this area, like in this section?

01:09:44.664 --> 01:09:53.831
And I don't mind it, I don't mind that underestimation, I don't like, I don't mind the criticism, because it's just kind of like I can because I want to.

01:09:53.831 --> 01:10:06.859
You know, I do it because I want to, because I can, and that way these challenges are really important because once we get to where we need to be, then if there's anybody behind me who wants to do the same thing.

01:10:06.859 --> 01:10:08.823
There will be no gatekeeping here.

01:10:08.823 --> 01:10:15.975
We'll open the door for you, we'll give you the roadmap because, like I said, whatever is meant for me, you can't take it vice versa.

01:10:16.497 --> 01:10:23.377
And our goal is to make things easier for people, not make it harder to fight for them to get into spaces.

01:10:23.377 --> 01:10:29.184
So our goal is like we're getting into these spaces, we're working hard so viewers can be like an easy pathway.

01:10:29.184 --> 01:10:38.206
You know challenges are good for us because we can handle them, but I don't think people should have to fight and be scrappy, you know, to this degree to help people.

01:10:38.206 --> 01:10:47.020
So we want to make things easier for people, you know, to help other people and it should not be a competition, especially in this nonprofit sector.

01:10:47.201 --> 01:10:53.788
Right, yeah, a lot of, a lot of obstacles that are, that are in the way, a lot of um overcoming those obstacles.

01:10:53.788 --> 01:10:59.583
A lot of people, a lot of people saying no, um, a lot of times people don't realize that.

01:10:59.583 --> 01:11:01.568
How many no's you get before you get a yes?

01:11:08.255 --> 01:11:09.600
And you have to stay in, stay in the pocket, the pocket right.

01:11:09.600 --> 01:11:11.488
The rejection the amount of rejection I get, they don't see that, it's not seen.

01:11:11.488 --> 01:11:12.412
That's a lot of rejection, it's a lot of no's.

01:11:12.412 --> 01:11:13.074
But you know what this taught me?

01:11:13.074 --> 01:11:20.088
Before I used to be like scared of asking for money or like being weird or like framing things.

01:11:20.088 --> 01:11:22.541
Now I'm like not, it's easy.

01:11:22.541 --> 01:11:23.483
Now I'm okay.

01:11:24.244 --> 01:11:26.717
Hi, I know you pledged to do sponsorships for us.

01:11:26.717 --> 01:11:29.123
Can you do it by this date and date this date?

01:11:29.123 --> 01:11:32.097
If it doesn't work, can you give me alternatives, you know?

01:11:32.097 --> 01:11:36.207
And then it's just kind of like they pledge something.

01:11:36.207 --> 01:11:39.115
You tell them like hey, can I get this date or this date?

01:11:39.115 --> 01:11:40.077
Like which one does it work for?

01:11:40.077 --> 01:11:46.103
It's just kind of like at first it's scary but now it's just kind of like it's okay to ask and if they say no, then you move on to the next person.

01:11:46.103 --> 01:11:46.762
It's going to be fine.

01:11:46.762 --> 01:11:58.155
But it's like it's helping me get out of my shell more and not be weird of asking for sponsorships or money, because I'm doing this it's not for me, it's for people.

01:11:58.155 --> 01:12:03.046
So like I think there's something about doing something for people that gives you a lot more confidence.

01:12:03.046 --> 01:12:03.707
You're like.

01:12:03.707 --> 01:12:04.269
That's not for me.

01:12:04.269 --> 01:12:05.840
The money is to help your community.

01:12:05.840 --> 01:12:07.524
Please provide it.

01:12:07.524 --> 01:12:12.207
So it's kind of like you get out of your shell, you become more confident, so it's pretty nice.

01:12:13.255 --> 01:12:17.065
Yeah, that's really, really important for all of our listeners out there.

01:12:17.065 --> 01:12:38.023
If you're looking to support a cause that's real, raw and relentless, focused on healing and empowerment, make sure you attend the gala on the 20th of August at the tower club and then in September 29th right Monday, september 29th join the golf tournament that's going to be helping be rise above, be relentless.

01:12:38.023 --> 01:12:41.387
You can also learn more at rise above, be relentless.

01:12:41.387 --> 01:12:43.251
Dot better world Dot org as well.

01:12:43.251 --> 01:12:47.820
Make sure you follow Samaya on all her social media accounts as well.

01:12:47.841 --> 01:12:51.296
Samaya, I really appreciate you joining us for your powerful voice in this space.

01:12:51.296 --> 01:13:01.057
I'd like to say that I hope to continue to see you to keep rising, keep fighting and keep being relentless as well.

01:13:01.057 --> 01:13:06.108
Just thank you for all the information and not only that, but sharing a piece of you.

01:13:06.108 --> 01:13:11.364
You know and what you're about, where you come from and who you are on the podcast today.

01:13:11.364 --> 01:13:17.039
You know just your time and all the technical difficulties that we dealt with today.

01:13:17.039 --> 01:13:21.418
I really appreciate you being flexible and giving me this opportunity.

01:13:21.418 --> 01:13:22.322
It's been a true honor.

01:13:23.123 --> 01:13:23.725
Thank you so much.

01:13:23.725 --> 01:13:25.447
Thank you so much for sharing your story and giving me this opportunity.

01:13:25.447 --> 01:13:25.712
It's been a true honor.

01:13:25.712 --> 01:13:26.337
Thank you so much.

01:13:26.337 --> 01:13:31.444
Thank you so much for sharing your story and having me on again for the third time and I know this won't be the last time, so I do appreciate it.

01:13:31.444 --> 01:13:32.787
Thank you so much, kp.

01:13:32.787 --> 01:13:36.985
You do a lot good for the community and for the Formation Nation, so you're pretty awesome.

01:13:37.774 --> 01:13:44.087
You just helped me come up with a new tagline today, so I'm doing like those ad placements Form tagline today.

01:13:44.106 --> 01:13:44.828
I'm doing those ad placements.

01:13:45.331 --> 01:13:46.395
Formation Nation.

01:13:46.395 --> 01:13:51.333
Formation Nation, I'm going to give you a chance to enjoy that beautiful East Coast weather today.

01:13:51.333 --> 01:13:59.662
It's getting afternoon time for you out there, for everyone else out there, make sure you tune in, to Rise Above and Be Relentless.

01:13:59.662 --> 01:14:02.680
Like I said, follow them on social media, check out their website as well.

01:14:02.680 --> 01:14:07.747
As always, I want you to stay tuned, stay focused and stay motivated.

01:14:07.747 --> 01:14:10.113
Fall out.