WEBVTT
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Warriors fall in.
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It's time for formation.
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I want to welcome you all back to the Morning Formation Podcast, where we shine a spotlight on resilience, leadership and survivability.
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Today we're bringing back a wonderful guest whose first appearance left us with a very powerful impact.
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Sergeant First Class Alexander Stewart is not only a decorated combat veteran and an active duty leader.
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He's a mental health advocate, motivational speaker and the author of Unspoken Words.
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In our last conversation, alexander actually shared his journey through three combat deployments and his evolution as a leader and his unflinching honesty about the invisible wounds of war.
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But there's more to his story and I wanted to make sure that we got back into it again and we covered it.
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He went into great detail and a lot of the things that he said last time really hit home for me and really resonated with me.
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Man, it got me a little emotional.
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So, Sergeant First Class Stewart, thank you so much for joining me on the Morning Formation again.
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Absolutely.
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Thank you for having me back.
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Dude, it's rare to meet someone like you because, at the end of the day, like you are still in it, like you are still in the military right now, but you're able to articulate a lot and I can say that when I was in the military maybe it was because I was younger, I don't know what it was, but like it took years for me to process a lot of the things that you talked about last time.
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It's almost like your brain is at a more mature level than I think most of us that serve in the military and get out.
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It takes usually it takes people years to process, but you have this interesting, very interesting like perspective on a lot of things that make sense.
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So, um, it's great to have you back on the show man and, uh, since our last conversation, um, have there been any new developments in your advocacy or your personal projects?
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You got going on.
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Uh yeah.
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So I just committed to do a 22-mile ruck march for a nonprofit called Hick Strong.
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I'm going to be doing that sometime here soon and the goal is to try to raise a little bit of funds for them.
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What they do, yes that's the one.
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That's right.
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Yeah, yep, thank you, by the way.
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What they do is they provide free counseling that does not report to the command at all, for active duty and for veterans.
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So you know it's over the phone, it could be virtual, but the fact of the or having to deal with the stigma, all of that isn't there and it just gives them an entity outside of the DOD to access.
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So I think it's a great program.
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I know the parents that run that program very well, so I figured I would do what I could, while also, you know, making sure I stay in shape.
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So we'll we'll see how that goes here soon.
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Yeah, I saw you, man.
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I snook um on your social media.
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You've been working hard, like mornings, nights, you've been putting it in man.
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So that's that's really important for just your mental health as well, right.
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Absolutely that, and you know you to keep the dad bod looking good always.
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What is the dad bod?
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It's just like having a barreled chest and like no definition.
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I guess that describes me to the T man.
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I always tell people you have your typical dad bod, which is the one everyone talks about with like the slight gut and stuff, but then you have the distinguished father figure.
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So I'm trying to work on that one.
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I'm trying to graduate from dad bod to father figure.
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You're going to write the definition of that one man.
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It's going to be a picture of you next to the father figure versus the dad bod.
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You're creating a whole new genre of like older males that work out.
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New genre of like older males that uh, that work out.
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Since the last time we talked, man, um, looking back on the podcast and the conversation that we had, was there anything that you wish you had expanded in?
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Uh, expanded on or explained differently?
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No, you know, uh, I think we covered a lot of stuff uh, decently Well, we got a lot of information, a lot of stuff out there in the time frame that we had.
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I would probably say that, you know, we could focus a lot more on just like mental mind state and how to get after, you know, becoming what you want to be and developing yourself into that end state goal and developing yourself into that end state goal.
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But outside of that, I'm pretty sure we're fairly confident that we covered a lot of stuff in that timeframe.
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Yeah, Sometimes people go back and they listen to something that they said or something that they mentioned in a topic, and then they wanted to kind of go back and, I guess, make sure that they were clear on their message overall, and I think one of the things that I see over and over and over again in today's world, in today's upbringing of leaders, is digesting and processing the concept of failure.
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What are your thoughts on that?
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As far as you know, in the military, it's always drive on, drive on.
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What are your thoughts on that?
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As far as you know, in the military, it's always drive on, drive on.
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What are your thoughts on that as a leader?
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So I think that a lot of people get into their heads that you know failure is not an option and if you fail at something, then you know you should just give up or walk away, when in reality people need to start going back to looking at failure as a chance to grow.
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I just recently spoke to a service member who was going to the promotion board and didn't make it and they were kind of, you know, getting on themselves about it and I said, well, what'd you do wrong?
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And they told me the things that you know they got wrong.
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And I was like okay, so what's the plan moving forward, how are you going to focus on these things, to improve yourself, to like well, I don't know if I want to go back anytime soon.
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I said, why not?
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You have a whole month to fix the small things that you didn't do right.
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Go right back and get right back at it.
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It's not that you failed or that you weren't good enough.
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It's that you weren't ready at this point in time to become, you know, that next level that you want to become.
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Someone went out of their way to tell you hey, you know, if you fix these one, two, three things, then you're ready.
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So why would you now, you know, retreat and back out, instead of just, you know, putting your head forward, leaning into it and tackling those few things and then going right back out there and, as a leader, those few things and then going right back out there and, as a leader, you know, if people see you do that, versus you know backing off, they're going to respect you more, because that is what a leader does.
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Failure is not, you know, the absence of success.
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Failure is the opportunity to kind of readjust yourself and then go right back at the same task.
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Maybe you could fail four or five, six times, but as long as every time you fail you take something away from that failure and then you go right back at it and you grow and you learn.
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You didn't really fail, you just had an opportunity to learn how to be better.
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I love a quote that I used to hear all the time.
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I'd rather I don't remember who said it, but someone said I'd rather fail than succeed, because from success you don't learn much, but from failure you can learn everything.
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Yeah, yeah, I've learned a lot more from failure than I have from success.
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No-transcript.
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I always thought there's two different types of leaders.
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There's the types of leaders that have the battle scars from making their own mistakes and learning, and then there's a type that just read from books and imagine what that's like, and I think that's huge for people Like, if you mess up, it's okay, learn from it.
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That's the most important part.
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Just pick up and move on, um, and just share that experience with others.
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Don't be afraid to say, yeah, I I fucked up as a leader.
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Uh, this is what I did, um, because other people like to know that they're not alone in in making these types of decisions too.
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Man and I just I feel like that's a common theme lately in my life is just a lot of young people just feel like man, I'm a failure, I failed, my life is over, and I'm like are you kidding me?
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You're still alive.
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There's people.
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Yeah, no, absolutely.
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You know, and you heard it when you were in the military.
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And I tell people all the time now, personally I've never been counseled, I've never gotten in trouble with anything.
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But I tell them all the time I'm like there's not a Sergeant Major in the Army that hasn't gotten an Article 15 or something down the road or everybody's gotten in trouble for one thing.
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Now I've been chewed out, but I'm weird.
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I used to get made fun of, especially by my peers, because they'd be like you've never been counseled.
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I was like, no, I got a couple, cause they'd be like you've never been counseled.
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I was like, nah, I got a couple, I got a couple like positive performance counselings, but I've never had a written on paper like counseling for doing anything.
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If ever I did something, uh, it was usually a talking to.
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I did do one thing one time that definitely deserved something.
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Um, but they, uh, they, they, they definitely let me off the hook because it was on deployment and it was just something I said over the radio, not realizing that the radio was being monitored by other like nations that were, that were in the coalition force, and it was me commenting on on a coalition force that did something to me that day.
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Oh, that sounds like it could have caused another war.
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I um dude, I I honestly man, I I simply think that, um, when it comes to, when it comes to screwing up there, I mean the, the the most important part of all that is that you basically share that with others and you grow and you move on, you accept it, you take the responsibility, you take the accountability, and I think that's a huge message for a lot of people out there.
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Your book, unspoken Words, covers a lot of like your thoughts, feelings, expressions about your time in the military and just your life in general.
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What feedback have you received from fellow service members or veterans about your book?
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So you know, honestly, I didn't know what I was going to receive when I first did it.
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I put it out there and I'm like I'm going to try to help somebody.
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You know, maybe it'll help one person, but I've actually never met a service member up until this point who has given me any negative feedback on that book.
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The worst feedback I've gotten is a why the hell would you put this on paper?
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What are you trying to do to me, man?
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Kind of thing, you know, not anger or not judging, but it was, you know, just something that they weren't ready for.
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And you know, when you tell somebody, hey, I wrote a book, you should check it out.
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It just covers some of the struggles that we go through, you know they expect it to just be like a book.
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But nine times out of 10, when I talk to somebody specifically, I talked to a good friend of mine who just did a show with me not too long ago and he said he had to you know, dog ear like three or four pages in the book and then come back to it later.
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I've also had a friend that was in the Marine Corps who was shot in the chest and then got a Purple Heart and was discharged and he had my book and you know my book's not long in any way.
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It took him two and a half months to make it from the beginning to the end, because he said he would read one and then he would have to like think on it for like four or five days and he also just was I don't want to say afraid, but kind of reluctant to touch it again because he didn't want to go back into that, into that mindset.
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He wasn't ready yet.
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But after like two and a half months he finally like messaged me.
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We talked about it but I think the best feedback I've gotten thus far.
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I had a friend of mine who's currently overseas do a veteran forum with me last month and I did not know this, but he has gone through a lot of stuff.
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He went through infertility that he talked about on my show with his previous spouse, a divorce, all of this stuff, suicidal ideation, and then he remarried and he has this amazing wife that is trying to, or was trying to, understand what was going on with him when it comes to post-traumatic stress and just his time in service.
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And what he had told me was one day he took my book and left it on the coffee table for her and said I'm going to work.
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If you want to know what's really going on, read this and then maybe we can talk when I come home.
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And he told me the day he got home after work.
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That day he was met with tears, compassion and understanding for the first time, like ever, and I was on my forum, you know, and I'm trying to keep my composure, and he's got me tearing up hearing this stuff, because not only is he a friend of mine, but we have been in two units and we've been deployed together and you know, and to hear your friend tell you hey, I, you know, had this weapon to my head before and I was in this spot and I was stuck, and to have a close friend tell you that I used your book to finally climb out was kind of it for me.
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I think that's gotta be the high so far for me as far as, like you know, the best feedback and feelings I've had from that book.
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Cause you, you do this stuff and you know you do podcasts and you go and talk to try to help people, but then when you find out that, like you're starting to help people that are the closest to you.
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I mean, it's just a whole nother level.
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Yeah, I mean I was talking to someone yesterday and they just kept asking me why, why, in a sense of like they're asking me, why do you do the podcast?
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Why do you volunteer for nonprofits?
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Why do you like why?
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And they kept going into detail about it and it got to a point where like enough why's got me to be very emotional about it and I got to the truth of why, why I care about community, why I care about others.
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I think a lot of veterans don't thrive in the civilian sector because we care too much about the neighbors, we care too much about the community.
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We're not selfish enough because we care too much about the neighbors.
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We care too much about the community.
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We're not selfish enough and um to to really thrive and make the big bucks and all it's.
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To some extent you got to kind of be a selfish asshole to make a lot of money and that's unfortunate that.
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That's just how it is.
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But I think a lot of veterans just really care about community.
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Where do you think your care about your fellow man, your fellow woman?
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Like?
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Where do you think that starts with you?
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Like, what?
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Like?
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When did you develop that?
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so I know, for me, I was raised by a soldier, so I was always taught that if you can defend somebody who can't defend themselves, you do it.
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If you have the ability to feed someone who's hungry, you feed them.
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You know, if you have the ability to help someone who needs help, you help them.
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You don't ask them how they got in this situation, you don't ask them for anything in return, you just do it.
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And you know, having a father that was both military and a professional fighter, you kind of get that instilled in you.
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But I think when you say the veterans, I think that's instilled like right in that basic training setting.
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You know, when we're young kids and you have this battle-hardened drill sergeant telling you that it doesn't matter where you're from or how you feel about the people to your left and right, all that matters is that they did the same thing you did put their hand up, swore to join, said the oath and put the uniform on.
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From that moment on you will die for the people next to you.
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And you know we have that put into us at such a young age, a very impressionable age, because most of us are 17, 18, 19, 20.
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And then you spend the next couple years with that in the back of your mind and, like for me, I knew I didn't care how or what somebody did or how they were acting.
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If you wore that uniform, similar to what just happened at Fort Stewart, I mean, you have five people that ran at a gunman and tackled them, regardless of the situation you know, because they saw that everyone else was in danger.
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So they did what's been embedded in them and you know what their at their core as a service member man, I tell you how many times I've stopped to help someone with something and everyone else around me is questioning why are you doing that?
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And I'm like, why aren't you doing what the hell is wrong with?
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It's not what's wrong with me, what's wrong with you, and that's just how it is.
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That's how it's been out here for me in the civilian world anyways, and I wanted to mention earlier and I forgot, I lost my train of thought.
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I, um, when you mentioned that, uh, you know, screwing up and messing up and failing.
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I think that's one of the greatest things about the military is you get put into positions of responsibility that challenge you and challenge and it helps polish you as a person, because I know a lot of 24 year olds, like in my case, for example, when I became a platoon leader at 24, there wasn't a whole lot of other 24 year olds that became platoon leaders in our in a war zone at 24, like I came back at 25 and I could look around and I could.
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I could very confidently say that most of these people have not dealt with what I dealt with for the last year.
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Um, and I think that's what's great about the military is especially like in the army and the Marines, where you become a squad leader and you're in charge of a small group.
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Um, you know, I think for a lot of us too, we don't think about it much, but when I was in basic training, training man, like they made me a squad leader and I was a squad leader the entire cycle and never got fired um, that's where I think it started for me to care about my fellow soldier, because I always carried around two of everything two canteens, two smart books, two ponchos to everything and so like.
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Whenever I had a squad member that was missing something, I'm like here, just hold this for inspection, just just hold on to it, and you don't think much about it, man.
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But it kind of starts like at a very infinite stage.
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Um, you know, even in basic training and you were a huge part of that you were a drill sergeant for how many years?
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uh two, just two, because of the reclassing and how they're reorganizing the military at least on the Army side.
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I came up on my final re-enlistment and I was basically told hey, you can stay in your job for the next eight, seven years, whatever's left.
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However, because the army's downsizing at any time, you could be reassigned to a different MOS.
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So, um, in order to have done a third year as a drill, I would have had to have extended, and in order to extend, I would have had to do one more um re-enlistment.
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So there was a huge barrier there, right, and it's all about timing and what's going on in the world and and everything else.
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I mean, yeah, that's huge.
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So, um, I want to talk about something a lot of people kind of a hot topic today, man, like with this new generation coming up.
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A lot of people, um, you know, say the younger generation is lazy, this or that there's.
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I mean, I have my own thoughts too, but from your experience, I mean, you've been a drill instructor, a mentor, an NCO, a leader, you've been to several combat deployments.
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How do you think and not only that, but you kind of cross a generational gap, because you came in the 2000s, early 2000s, and then now you're 2025.
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How has this younger generation of soldiers, or just military in general, surprised you, both positively and negatively?
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So I would say on the positive side, you know we get all wrapped up in everything that's going on and all the opinions of media and just the general societal norms that they push.
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So I have been surprised a lot, especially as a drill, when I come across somebody that resembles that old fire, like in a young enlistee, in a young recruit that you saw back in like 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, during, during, like the height of the war, we'd have these kids come in and like they were a hundred percent all about it and it really caught me off guard.
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But at the same time that you know that's where that fire gets lit in you You're like, oh, I got one.
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All right, I'm going to give this kid everything I've got because I know that he deserves that and he wants that.
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And I was actually surprised because there was a large number of this new generation that everyone thinks is such and such, that actually was like that.
00:22:24.068 --> 00:22:25.932
It's still there.
00:22:25.932 --> 00:22:35.826
There are still these kids that are joining and, you know, want to serve that, have that fire even in a time of quote, unquote, peace, you know.
00:22:36.949 --> 00:22:44.247
But on the flip side, like the extreme disappointment was just all of these free riding.
00:22:44.247 --> 00:22:47.334
I don't want to listen to authority.
00:22:47.334 --> 00:22:48.863
I have no respect for anything.
00:22:48.863 --> 00:23:02.806
I can't tell you how many kids joined and didn't even make it out of basic because they would just throw their stuff, throw everything away for either pride or an attitude issue or just something dumb Like.
00:23:02.906 --> 00:23:09.183
Imagine being told hey, here's $50,000 for a combat job which you know.
00:23:09.183 --> 00:23:13.469
It's like you and me back in the day when we joined, you weren't getting $50,000 for that.
00:23:13.469 --> 00:23:22.269
But now, because it's a peacetime and we're away from it, some of these kids are coming in with $50,000, $30,000 bonuses.
00:23:22.269 --> 00:23:53.990
Imagine being told at 18 years old, all you got to do is go through six months of OSIT and then you get $50,000 and then just not doing it and, like I, had kids that would throw it all away just to take like a hit of a vape or sneak a vape in and it's just the smallest things, and I think that was one of the most shocking and disappointing things, cause like my generation and the way I grew up, I couldn't fathom somebody making a commitment and then just not sticking to the commitment.
00:23:54.029 --> 00:24:03.442
I was always raised that if you give your word for something, you know that's it, and my father used to always say you know a man is only as good as his word.
00:24:03.442 --> 00:24:06.330
If if a man doesn't have his word, he has nothing.
00:24:08.345 --> 00:24:10.731
You kind of glossed over it earlier, man, but I want to go back again.
00:24:10.839 --> 00:24:13.328
Your father who is he?
00:24:13.328 --> 00:24:16.951
Oh, so my father is Alexander Arthur Stewart.
00:24:16.951 --> 00:24:23.605
He fought in Desert Storm, he was a tanker and he was also on the Army boxing team.
00:24:23.605 --> 00:24:26.107
Okay, he was a tanker and he was also on the army boxing team.
00:24:26.107 --> 00:24:32.715
Okay, and he was trained by Floyd Patterson, who is a very, very, very famous old boxer.
00:24:32.715 --> 00:24:35.663
He fought Muhammad Ali.
00:24:35.663 --> 00:24:37.425
He trained with the best.
00:24:38.047 --> 00:24:45.796
So I grew up, kind of when I was young, in in that shadow.
00:24:45.796 --> 00:24:51.692
I got pictures of me sitting on Joe Frazier's lap at a barbecue and you know, hanging out, hanging out with Floyd Patterson, his son, tracy.
00:24:51.692 --> 00:24:59.222
My dad's got pictures of Roy Jones senior, roy Jones junior, all of these big names Al Cole, charles Murray.
00:24:59.222 --> 00:25:06.095
So I grew up in this environment of one military standard.
00:25:06.095 --> 00:25:16.982
I still remember when I was like four or five, watching my dad shine and then bake his boots, you know, and watch him iron his stuff, and it was.
00:25:16.982 --> 00:25:25.079
It was just like you saw this stuff and you're like you know, as a young kid, you're like this this is what a man is kind of, you know, yeah, yeah.
00:25:25.079 --> 00:25:31.521
And then to to every weekend on top of that, to go to, I would follow my dad to the gym all the time.
00:25:31.521 --> 00:25:46.342
So every Sunday he would go and teach boxing and I would go too and he'd be training these, these like full grown men that are paying him to train, and I'd be in the background just shadowing what they're doing.
00:25:46.342 --> 00:25:50.230
And eventually I got to a point where my dad shifted and started training me and it was.
00:25:50.230 --> 00:26:07.625
I think it was a good experience, you know to, to grow up and watch all that like, to see somebody dedicate all that time to shining their boots, all this other stuff staying in shape, and then to also have that discipline from a military background mixed with the discipline of a fighting background.
00:26:07.625 --> 00:26:08.787
As a young kid.
00:26:08.787 --> 00:26:28.463
It really helped solidify one, that guardian mentality that we were touching on earlier, certain mindset, and I think that's one of the things that that's helped me throughout.
00:26:28.463 --> 00:26:40.653
All my stuff is growing up and in having that mindset, yes, I'm going to get into some dark places and I've struggled, but I have also had that core upbringing that's just deep rooted in the memory.
00:26:40.653 --> 00:26:49.126
So usually when I'm starting to struggle or stuff, that's kind of where I dig and I try to pull that back out.
00:26:49.126 --> 00:27:04.707
You know that, just that mentality of, hey, you're a fighter and not even military, just growing up as a kid, I was always a fighter If somebody was pushing on someone that wasn't you know big enough to do something back.
00:27:05.367 --> 00:27:12.540
I built a name at a very young age because I had a buddy and he passed away, but we weren't friends at first.
00:27:12.540 --> 00:27:27.461
He was a white guy and I was maybe like 10, 11 years old, and so was he, and we were young kids and I don't remember what we were talking about something.
00:27:27.461 --> 00:27:32.271
And then he just decided to drop the N word but like as like, oh, what's up?
00:27:32.271 --> 00:27:33.461
My, and I looked at him.
00:27:33.461 --> 00:27:37.170
I was like don't ever say that, don't ever say that to me.
00:27:37.170 --> 00:27:39.040
He's like oh, what's your problem?
00:27:39.040 --> 00:27:40.404
You know, I'm just saying it with it.
00:27:40.404 --> 00:27:41.105
And he said it again.
00:27:41.105 --> 00:27:47.102
I was like got, you, got one more, one more and and we're gonna have a problem.
00:27:47.102 --> 00:27:51.619
And then he said it again and you know, of course, he had this crowd of of dudes around him.
00:27:51.619 --> 00:27:53.305
He's one of those dude, one of those guys.
00:27:54.327 --> 00:28:04.632
And, uh, my father always taught me, you know, never start something but you will finish it, or or you will deal with me when, when you get home.
00:28:04.632 --> 00:28:13.279
And I was like OK, so he, he said something, I shoved him.
00:28:13.279 --> 00:28:31.929
And then you know this little 11 year old dude who actually secretly has been training boxing since he was like four and a half five, like seriously for every weekend, did some really bad damage to another kid and from from that point that was my first time ever actually defending myself.
00:28:31.929 --> 00:28:48.087
From that point it was kind of like a realization of one how dangerous somebody who can do all those things to somebody is, especially at that age where other kids, especially back then, things to somebody is, especially at that age where other kids, especially back then this is.
00:28:48.087 --> 00:28:58.133
You know, you got to remember this is before ufc mma, before jiu-jitsu even really got big before social media because you want to, went viral yeah, so yeah, oh yeah, but definitely before social media.
00:28:58.212 --> 00:29:02.946
I mean we're talking like 2000 and yeah but it was, it was a.
00:29:09.680 --> 00:29:11.025
I'm blessed at that.
00:29:11.025 --> 00:29:12.780
Now, yes, my childhood was rough.
00:29:12.780 --> 00:29:14.742
My parents ended up divorcing and stuff.
00:29:14.742 --> 00:29:54.479
But that time period where I was able to see my father do all of these things and then, you know, get that one-on-one time with him and all that dedication and support into developing me, I didn't realize you know what it was when I was little, but it helped kind of create the mentality that I have now and the strength that I have now, which is funny because even with all that, with my dad being an NCO in the military and doing all these things like where you say you know you were the guy that was helping everyone at basic you'd probably be surprised but I actually never wanted to lead.
00:29:54.719 --> 00:30:05.236
When I was in basic um, I was given a spot as as a platoon guide and like I was getting on the bus five minutes after they gave it to me and my drill sergeant looked at me.
00:30:05.236 --> 00:30:06.376
He goes you don't want it, do you?
00:30:06.376 --> 00:30:10.201
And I went no, so then he gave it back to the dude he just fired.
00:30:10.201 --> 00:30:19.811
But at the same time I wasn't popular because I took the oath very serious.
00:30:19.811 --> 00:30:25.700
If dudes were goofing off, I would get on them about it If they weren't taking stuff seriously.
00:30:25.700 --> 00:30:27.506
Like they all said, I was way too uptight.